askchapo

22816 readers

189 users here now

Ask Hexbear is the place to ask and answer ~~thought-provoking~~ questions.

Rules:

Posts must ask a question.
If the question asked is serious, answer seriously.
Questions where you want to learn more about socialism are allowed, but questions in bad faith are not.
Try [email protected] if you're having questions about regarding moderation, site policy, the site itself, development, volunteering or the mod team.

founded 4 years ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]

Neurotypicals - Is it rude to share a similar story after you share something that might be emotional or traumatic? (hexbear.net)

submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

37 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I keep hearing that this is frowned upon, but I cannot help it. After I share, I circle back and explain how and why I connected the two stories to try to recenter the other person. Is this annoying? How do you want ND people to respond in that case?

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 week ago

It's a common thing for ND people to do as it allows us a a way to demonstrate empathy. The problem is that most NTs can interpret it as being off topic or making it about yourself. What they probably want in the conversation is to vent/express their emotions to another person. If you bring up a similar event that happened to you, they don't get that opportunity.

A good way to channel that impulse is to bring it up briefly and then immediately bring the topic back to them. Show them that you understand but still keep the conversation centered around them and their feelings.

"Hey, my mom died recently so I'm not feeling great."

"I'm so sorry, my mom died last year so I know what you're going through. How are you holding up, do you need anything?

Not NT but halfway decent at "translating" my thoughts into socially acceptable behavior.