That's a cool manager.

I’m cool with the 12”

hehe. That's what he said.

Honestly, fuck you.

I managed a pizza place for six years and I cut the scam orders down to 10% of what they were when I took over. We were insanely busy in the fattest city in the USA.

Aside- I don't mind giving food away, I always made sure there was food for the staff, even made my own recipes for everyone that's so much better than what you can order at [corpo store]. During the busy season we had 40 employees and I made sure they were all fed and made sure they had food to take home to their families if they were in a bad spot. I was actually making less than minimum wage because I was exempt salary at the federal minimum and I worked 50-70 hours a week. We also fed homeless people as long as they took what we had and didn't demand we cook something for them.

Back on topic- Scammers are not starving people, they're just assholes. We had one guy who was getting one free pizza each week delivered to his fucking boat. I mean this guy was getting a free pizza with no tip delivered during the busiest part of the busiest day of the week for years! When I told him to never call again he called me every name he could, and threatened to call the police. I had so many people threaten to come over and fight me when I refused their scams. I would drop everything even in the middle of the shittiest rush to shut down a scam. Scams hurt everyone and especially hurt the drivers who got $2.15 an hour. Scammers never tip.

For any food managers who read this, I developed a technique I call the broken record. In a cheery voice, I would say "I'm sorry sir/ma'am but without a verified order I'm unable to issue a replacement." They would but but but but and I would say "I'm sorry sir/ma'am but without a verified order I'm unable to issue a replacement."

Sometimes they would hang up after two. Sometimes I would say it eight times in a row. But that's all I would say once I was sure they were lying. It worked fucking fantastic and the more they cussed me out the better my day would get. They would say the most ridiculous shit like the pizza put my daughter in the hospital. And you want another?

Years of this combined with knowing pathological liars since I was a child means I can spot a liar right away. I am very fucking good at knowing when someone is lying. I don't mind when people exaggerate a story a bit for fun, I do it myself, but liars can go fuck off all the way. They do not care about you, only what they can get from you.

Thanks for coming to my Fred talk.