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Sex is used as a tool of humiliation against women WhY dOn'T WoMeN WaNt To hAvE SeX AnYmOrE?!? [CW: talking about sexual violence] (hexbear.net)

submitted 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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This might be a hot take, but people don't seem to realise that like... how do I explain this...

well let me put it this way;

In modern society, think about how sex is described for women. Women don't fuck, they get fucked. Think about how porn describes women being fucked. They get dominated, they get destroyed.

Think about how much porn is about rape, choking and other violence against women.

this type of talk dominates how cis dudes talk about sex with women, don't pretend it doesn't.

There is a reason that our language considers shit like "Get fucked" "Fuck you" and "I'm going to fuck you up" as insults. To fuck someone is to be the victor, to be fucked is to be humiliated, to be destroyed and dehumanised.

I mean, thankfully women are slowly taking back sex as something good and fun and empowering. But that history of sex as violent still lingers.

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[–] [email protected] 40 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (2 children)

Frankly I don't like it either. I wish we had a more egalitarian language for talking about sexual relations with a partner. Maybe that could contribute towards building a culture about mutual appreciation for both partners needs. I wish the sex culture in general emphasized that more instead of putting so much emphasis on this dominance/submission role stuff.

This is also reproduced in gay male sexual culture as I'm starting to find out. Like, why can't people just have fun together and not make it about reproducing our societies's hierarchies for once. No, we still have to get frazzled over who is literally on top.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 3 months ago

Absolutely.