there should also be a trans flag hanging up in that room

cross-posted from: https://hexbear.net/post/2844166

BABE WAKE UP, NEW PYRAMID INU VIDEO DROPPED

WITH BLACK DRESSES MUSIC IN IT AAAAUUUUUUOOOGGH

Laughingfish, more like fucks

I have never been so compelled to watch so many smelly shows.

BIGGER AND MORE PRIDEFUL THAN EVER BEFORE

I regrettably was put through the christian "school system" in the 90's-early 00's. It was shit. I spent my first couple years in college having to learn some basics and unlearn a lot of bullshit. Being neurodivergent (ADHD) I got put into their special ed programming, which mostly consisted of getting tracked to low paying service work and stuck in a study hall where the alleged SpEd teachers just sneared at us delinquent kids. Anyway, in highschool you have christian classes including Bible studies, and Christian ethics. First one is true to the name, studying the text, but the second was nothing short of conservative bigot indoctrination. I can't stress enough how much this shit was just cult brainwashing, but that's not the point of why I'm sharing this.

I had a dream yesterday where I remembered one of the segments. The teacher showed us a Calvin Klein ad poster and explained why it was so bad. You see, this feminine looking model here is actually a man!! Basically, every model was "not really" the gender they presented as. 'Be careful what you expose your eyes to so Satan doesn't work his way into your head' or whatever the lesson was. I remember having this learned response of "oh no, bad thing!", but not understanding what the actual problem was. I also looked closer at the picture and still didn't understand, they looked nice... Of course I know now that he was just being a transphobic bigot, but there was no language for it, they would just call it "the work of the devil" or some shit like that. I didn't know what to call people like that.

I just feel gross, they deprived me of language for so damn long. The whole system is a cult, and they kept me so isolated and uneducated I didn't know who I was till I was in my 30's. God damn America, that's in the Bible!

Dysphoria and the fact I have to see my dead name pretty frequently aside, The fact that "males" are charged extra for insurance is ridiculous. Thanks for adding a dollop of dysphoria onto my economic woes.

Insurance company CEOs deserve the wall.

But not those Conservative ones like Blaire White and Caitlyn Jenner.

That was the objective of defending against bigotry in the event of America going screwed out.

MORE PRIDE THAN EVER BEFOOOOOOORE

Turns out I’ve got major gender problems and wish I had been born a girl. [Removed as it was pointed out how problematic and doomer my sentiment was] I'm well past puberty and am very masculine-looking. The dysphoria’s gotten worse over the years though, or maybe the gender affirming feelings have gotten more tempting as I’ve stopped being in denial so much and have explored a bit of transitional stuff — shaving, doing my hair different, less masculine clothing. But I just don’t know what to do next.

I’m terrified by the idea of trying to hormonally transition, mostly because I have a very high sex drive and am very attached to it. Dysphoria about the shape of my genitals aside, I do want my dick to keep getting hard, I want to still be able to orgasm from using it, and I want to still produce cum for my partner to enjoy. From what I’ve read hormonal transitioning would eventually disable all of those, and I feel for me that would be even worse than not transitioning.

I’m also pretty strong and muscular, and I don’t want to lose that muscle and put on a bunch of fat from going on estrogen, which I’ve seen happen to couple friends who’ve transitioned.

So, hormonal transitioning looks too risky for me. Still, I thought maybe I could still achieve a good degree of comfort with non hormonal transitioning, maybe getting rid of all the body hair for a start. But when it comes to non hormonal transitional steps it all feels so incredibly daunting. I’ve been “blessed” with prodigious masculinity, the ability to grow hair all over my body like a beast. Shaving is a pain and I grow hair so fast that my face turns into stubble in less than a day after shaving.

Nonhormonal transitional steps I’ve considered: Shaving all over. Problem: I’ve only shaved a bit of my body and it gets really old and time-consuming really fast.

Laser hair removal. Problem: Supposed to be very expensive, and it works better on people with white skin and light, fair hair, neither of which have I (EDIT: CORRECTION: works better with dark hair so at least I have that going for me). In particular the at-home DIY machines do not work as well in those use cases, and without training there’s more risk of damaging your own skin trying to do it.

Electrolysis hair removal: I had a bit done in the past on my face. It was not super effective, takes a lot of sessions, and was very painful even with a local anesthetic cream. On top of that, while I might be able to have it done on much of my body it is impossible to have done on my face because of Covid — I’d have to take off my respirator and that’s not happening unless I could find a practitioner wearing an N95 in an isolated room with heavy air filtration.

More drastic nonhormonal steps — facial feminization surgery, breast implants — are even more inaccessible because at this point very few healthcare practitioners give a shit about Covid so it’s nigh impossible to see a surgeon or even get to a gender care clinic. Regardless, the uncontrollable hair is a big barrier — I wouldn’t want to consider other options before getting it dealt with in the first place.

Everything seems so painful, risky, and dauntingly expensive to the point where idk how I could afford it anyway.

Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you, comrades.

As some of you may know, I've just barely started the process of transitioning, and have been looking for resources related to this. I've found some pretty great ones, especially Trans Academy (which I somehow knew about from when I was "totally cis"), but most of the resources I've found seem a little scattered and I'd love to have some kind of a guide that may even include harder to find "DIY" tips that other groups might not address. Since there doesn't seem to be anything out there (to my knowledge) that includes all of the useful info someone who's starting out might need, I was thinking that this could be a good place to start such a project. So I had some questions:

1. Do you think this is a good or bad idea? and why?
2. What form should this take? Someone mentioned cryptpad.fr to me, and it seems ideal for what I had in mind, which is something like an easy-to-navigate wiki with contents and search, and if possible a list of sources/links for the info it contains. I'd love to hear other suggestions if you have them, though. Maybe eventually a website could work once a lot of the info has been fleshed out.
3. What should be the scope of the guide? I was initially thinking the focus should be on trans (masc/femme) and NB identities, but should it be expanded to include a much larger group?
4. What are potential legal issues, if any, with putting such a guide out there and what would be the best way to deal with that?
5. What would be the best way to collaborate on this? Should there be stuff like approval, version control, etc?
6. Is there anything else I'm missing here that you'd like to talk about?

This was just something I was thinking about, and I thought I'd make a post to see what others think, but please feel free to give honest feedback on whether or not this would be a good idea or if it could even work. Thanks!

but it's estrogen

it's definitely also out wherever you get movies illicitly, so you can watch it for free wherever you are. now there's no excuse not to watch it, for all the reasons i laid out in this post. great movie about drowning in dysphoria and suffocating in the closet

link

Like i have little interest in changing presentation and definitly no interest in hormones, but i do have some degree of discomfort with the concept of masculinity

fun facts: after double checking that first post, i actually realized i was trans about 15 hours after I posted that lmao

down with cis

https://x.com/ritasnep/status/1799746467604902289