The lobstrosities are another reason I avoid the coast

100/10. The salt spray alone is incredibly dangerous. I had to move to the desert.

As a diabetic, can confirm. S'how this works

Currently drunk on bourbon street in NOLA, hooked up like 5 times, and just finished 2 of something called a swamp juice and another thing called a hand grenade... I definitely need water

Years and years ago, I was really active on a forum, and one of the members did this world trip, couch surfing with different members of the forum and seeing the world. She and I weren't good friends. In fact, she irritated me a bit, nothing in particular, just... Didn't vibe. At all. But a leg of her trip was taking through my state, and she needed a place to crash, so I said fuck it, sure.

She stayed with her best friend from the forum in Boston, and it was a complete bust. They didn't get along, Boston friend found her irritating, grating, and overwhelmingly boring.

Then she got to my place, and I made a new best friend. We got along so well she stayed an extra 2 days, and we had a fucking blast.

Irl/online can be a major difference, one from the other

Y'all wanna talk hoopties? Let's talk hoopties.

Two great stories below all the issues.

I had a 1990 Oldsmobile Regency. Google it for the full understanding of just how hoopty this hoopty was. I had it in ≈2012-15

An automatic, the gears were fucked, you drove in neutral, neutral was reverse, and park was reverse. There was no park. You put it in neutral and put on the e brake.

To crank it did not require a key. You just turned the little plastic nubs on the ignition.

The doors did not open from the inside, you had to reach out the window to open them from the outside. It also did not lock correctly, so it could always be opened from outside. Occasionally the driver's door would stick shut and could not be opened, so you had to scooch to the passengers door, or climb out through the window.

If you turned on the windshield wipers the radio turned on or off, depending on if you had it on or off when you turned on the wipers.

If you turned on the headlights the wipers came on. Period. Which then fucked with the radio. I used to have to physically take the wipers off and raise the little metal bars if it wasn't raining, so that they didn't screech on dry glass.

It had no muffler, and was so fucking loud

It had no blinkers or tail lights, so I bought a set of trailer lights and stuck them on the trunk. Wired toggle switches. If you wanna turn on left blinker, rapidly switch the toggle for the left blinker.

In short. Hot fucking mess.

Stories:

We drove this car from Tennessee to Florida when helping someone move. He put us up at Fontainebleau in Miami. We drove this hoopty in, and had it valet parked. The look on their faces was absolutely fucking priceless. They thought we were the clampetts.

But the best story is when my brother and I were at a campground. For reasons I won't go into, we were staying at a campground with our dogs. No one could know we were there. My brother has IBS. He and I went to bed in our tents, and at some point he got up to drive to the bathroom/shower room things. He gets in the car and goes to crank it and it won't crank. His stomach is upset and he decides he just has the walk the half mile. But oh no! The windows are up, the car won't crank, and he can't open the doors!

He repeatedly called my name and phone, and I just slept through it. He sat in the car for nearly 5 hours while he watched a family of raccoons eat all of our food. Including each individual egg from the carton. He had video of it for years. The only person who could know where we were was our mom, and he called her repeatedly, leaving the saddest voicemails that she kept for years.

"Mama... Please help me... I'm locked in the car... The raccoons are eating our food... I have to go to the bathroom... Please help... Mama... Please help"

When my parents finally got there, he told them not to wake me up. He went to the bathroom, and then when he got back he crawled into my tent, put his mouth by my ear and screamed my name as loud as humanly possible. Scared the hell out of me. He then made me watch the raccoon videos while he berated me for sleeping through it.

I was homeschooled, but my foster brothers elementary school gym teacher was a powerfully lesbian lesbian woman with a flat top haircut and a penchant for flannel in the middle of the summer in coastal Virginia. She lived a few doors down from us, and would come by occasionally for cookouts and stuff. I loved her so much, she was amazing. She was also one of the first people to clock me as gay. I didn't even know I was gay, but I still distinctly remember her giving me a hug one day when this boy I wanted to be friends with told me he didn't want to be friends with me. Looking back, it was so obviously a crush, but I didn't realize it then. She was outside when she overheard the two of us, we'd been riding bikes. She hugged me, told me that not everyone can love everyone, and that it was okay. I'd find more and better friends, and when I got older, I'd be able to tell who the good ones were. It was like a pre gay pep talk, and she was so kind.

So, fun story:

I used to work security at a factory. Main part of the job is doing rounds every 2 hours (walking throughout the factory and grounds, touching a small metal wand to NFC chips mounted various places to prove you're doing it), and unlocking the gate and signing people in during shift change.

In orientation, we are informed of shift change times. 2pm, 11pm, 6am. Shift change last approx. 30 minutes to get everyone in and everyone out.

So, this newbie gets hired. Bear in mind, this is the most basic ass rent a cop gig. Even calling it rent a cop is an exaggeration. It is mostly watching Netflix on your phone. Nothing has ever happened or likely will, and if it does, we aren't even allowed to do anything. Sit in the shack, call the cops. That's the whole ass job.

Newbie is 19, gung ho wannabe cop. First day on the job, training shift, he brings pepper spray and handcuffs. Immediately told no, he cannot have that.

Second day, training shift, he brings a giant ass mag light and a baton. Nope. Can't have either.

Third day, solo shift, he brings the mag light again, and decided to do his round as shift change begins.

He's just started his round, cars at the gate, honking to be let in. Someone calls the front desk, they radio him, let him know he missed the mark on timing, and to let the people in.

He tells them he's on his round, he'll be back in about 30 minutes. They can wait. They can just sit there, and be late for their shifts, and get write ups, and fuck up their paychecks and be late.

He returns from his round to find the manager of the factory, one of the most genuinely nice people you've ever met (haven't worked there in 10 years, still see him sometimes. He's just a kind, wonderful person) has showed up, and as a kindness has unlocked the gate and is signing people in for the guard. Took it upon himself, and made sure everyone got scanned and the log was filled out so that the guard wouldn't get in trouble (guard company is a separate company).

Dude starts shouting at him, tells him he has no right, yada yada. Goes over and locks the gate, tells manager he's going to go over the logs first (making these people wait) and then when he's done he'll let everyone in. Manager tells him he can't do that, he can do it himself, or the manager can do it. But they're already a full 30 minutes behind schedule for a factory that runs like clockwork.

Guard refuses, manager unlocks the gate.

GUARD HITS MANAGER IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH THE MAG LIGHT

guard ends up fired, but not before one of the employees waiting to get out tackles him and another calls the cops.

We almost lost the contract.

Replace waiter with "CEO" and you begin to understand why socialists believe what they do

My favorite way out of that situation was to tell them that the registers were automatically shut down at closing. Literally no way to ring up a purchase. It worked most of the time

Once gave a ride to a dude on Grindr that was leaving his abusive husband at 4am for similar reasons, didn't know the neighbors, didn't trust they wouldn't be violently anti gay.

Another time I was broke down on the side of the road and a dude came and hung out with me in freezing weather until the wrecker got there.

One other time I was broke down in a city an hour from home in a blizzard (I've had a lot of shitty cars) and a dude got me a hotel room for the night, no strings.

Grindr, and the gay community in general, can sometimes be really great places

Honestly? Someone telling me this would do absolute wonders for my self esteem, ngl