These guys used to be one of my main favourites but I kinda lost track of them since Through the Ashes of Empires. They've got a new album either out or coming soon, maybe I should check them out again some time.

Wish the lyrics were up on Spotify, this shit was my anthem at one point.

Confession: Meat Loaf was my first big super fandom of any artist when I was a kid. From the moment I heard 'I Would Do Anything for Love' on the radio I was obsessed and bought every cassette I could (and dubbed anything else I could get my hands on). And my answer to the question of "what do you want to be when you grow up" in school was "a singer" lol. Pity that he died of anti-vaxxer disease though.

Apart from maybe busting out 'Bat Out of Hell' once in a blue moon if I'm feeling particularly nostalgic, I don't really listen to Meat Loaf anymore. But this is definitely the coolest and heaviest song I've heard of his since those days. From the time period where Nikki Sixx from Motley Crue was playing guitar and writing the songs.

There's for sure better Skunk Anansie songs that would get a bigger pop but hey, this is topical. And as Skin herself would say on this same album, yes it's fucking political.

They've got a new album coming out pretty soon. Hoping it's a return to form because while I liked the previous album, it kinda sounded more like Skin's solo stuff than the Skunk Anansie of old. And the world could do with some of this attitude right now.

First I just want to say that I wish this community was busier. There's still major things missing from R*ddit around here on Lemmy. Namely, actual discussion. In all areas, like even the punk subreddit was great for actual discussion and not just dumping links and shit. And as far as gender identity goes, I'm not sure how different my mindset would be right now if it wasn't for the non-binary and genderqueer subs on R*ddit being around and just having other people's stories to read and interact with.

But to the actual post. Not so long ago, I boldly and confidently declared that I'm agender. And I truly felt it at the time. Which honestly has just made it so much more obvious just how many times daily and for how many reasons I wish I was afab. And it can't be exactly true that I'm no gender if this is how things are.

However, I remain under the non-binary umbrella because I know that I will probably never* take steps to change my physical body or even start asking people to address me in a certain way. Not going to even share these thoughts and feelings with family, or even a therapist. And I haven't even been in contact with a lot of my friends for years and in this already religious conservative leaning country that I'm in, I have no doubt that a lot have gone down Joe Rogan looking rabbit holes in the years since. I've even had one old friend catch up out of the blue, which I was quite happy about at first, who then sent me a Jordan Peterson link and I kinda ghosted that conversation and haven't spoken to him since. So I've told exactly one (1) person in my life, a decades long online friend that I've never even met in real life lol.

So based on societal pressures and various other things, not excluding imposter syndrome, I begrudgingly accept my shell despite my inner feelings. I begrudgingly accept being something 'other' or 'in between' and that I will never be either. And anyone that wants to claim that this is some sort of fad is out of their god damned mind. Because it's actually kinda shit. The world is full of "men" and "women" labels on arbitrary, cultural and non-biological shit. And being man shaped but also not only pretty much disgusted with the current state of 'masculinity' but also yearning to be surrounded by things and people with the 'women' label is shit. And I think a double source of guilt and imposter syndrome is being man shaped, feeling this way but also being attracted to women shaped people.

So yeah, it's all fucked up. After a couple of years of this journey and thinking that I had answers, turns out that I still don't really know who I am or where I belong. Or if this state of being just dooms me to be alone and seeking connection in random corners of the internet in a binary world. But it's also all good because actually life has always been this way and I've got this far.

One more heavy one for now.

I did say that I would probably post heavier stuff in another community but I dunno, for reasons, I don't feel that connected to that community anymore. And I like it here in the melting pot. So let me know if my shit gets too extreme for what this community is going for.

Last one for night. If I go heavier than this, I might find a more appropriate community.

Evil Youtube because I think this deserves the music video. And might as well supply part 2 of the video while I'm at it too.