The whole reason the manosphere is easy to get into is because it is, on the surface, one of the most welcoming and validating spaces for men to be in. Thanks for giving attention to that with your comment.

Yeah, I read this first thing in the morning and replied before even checking what community it is. Probably should've deleted this but also, maybe it's a good discussion to have around here.

I know that you're right but it just feels hopeless. You say that I should have empathy but honestly what I worry about the most is that the people we're talking about here have no empathy of their own. Because I can't help but wonder, don't these kids have mothers and sisters that they look at and at least feel a little bit bad about the circles they spend time in and the ideology they believe in? It's a strange mix of disgust and despair that I feel about this. Because I feel like trying to appeal to the good nature of mother's sons that listen to rapists in the first place is a lost cause.

But I could just be bitter. And facing my own gender wars internally and projecting that. I've actually been trying to stay away from these conversations because I'm not sure if I can be anything but angry at this point.

Nah, that's not it. Manosphere assholes offer easy and satisfying answer to all the problem, and the solution they offer doesn't require anyone to do hard work, but instead gives the sensation of being right and cool.
That's the reason they attract people, not the uncaring left, not the smugness of righteous comments on the internet, ot the evilness of women.

Exactly. It's easy to treat an asshole like an asshole, but that literally just makes them feel all the more justified.

Hey Scubus, I found your comment and the discussions with others interesting. What caught my eye was your statement that you are probably "not going to be around next month". It got me worried you are considering hurting yourself!

If that is the case, please reach out to any of your friends that you say do see value in you as a person, or family. There are also organisations that you can contact to help you deal with these feelings, if you would prefer a more anonymous route. I might be able to suggest some resources if you tell me where you live.

I completely agree with one other commenter saying that thinking about yourself as having a fixed, unlikable component is a simplistic view of human nature. The fact that you haven't been able to find a romantic partner until now does not confirm it. There are so many factors determining whether two people who are compatible with each other come together, of which one commonly missed, but in fact immensely important, is luck!

When you ask people what they think might be wrong with you, they will come up with something, mostly out of their wish to help you. The fact that some cannot come up with anything is a further testament of there being nothing fundamentally wrong with you. Rarely do people realise they should actually challenge your frame (some commenters here did): there is nothing wrong with you, you are simply asking a wrong question.

This is not to invalidate your feelings of worthlessness of love which I sensed are sometimes too much for you to handle. It simply means that these feelings and thoughts about yourself, however real and strong, do not represent some objective reality.

Again, please reach out for help if you need it! Just from reading a couple of your comments, I could tell you are a thoughtful person, capable of reflection, which is a very attractive characteristic in my romantic book. I am positive there are many, many more which, I am sure!, are going to lead the right person to you.

I am sending good karma your way and wishing you the best of luck. 🍀

Interesting comment. So, nobody of either gender likes you and nobody can tell you why they don't like you?

But also saying that there is this fundamentally unmovable thing in you that just makes you completely unlikable is too a very simplistic view of the human spectrum and adaptability.

I know this seems like an unserious response, but it is, and it's one of the main points of the Barbie movie: you need to learn, perhaps accept, to be enough for yourself.

Ken was looking for validation from Barbie, but when she didn't, he became angry and all. But the message at the end is right: people should not look to other people for validation. Why? Because you are enough. You don't need someone else to tell you that. You can tell yourself that. All people are flawed in some way, so what's it matter what someone else thinks? They're no better than your to judge you.

And the truth is, the other way is off-putting. I don't want to be with a person who isn't enough for themself. If they're not enough for themself, how can they be good enough for me? I don't want someone who wants or needs me to be responsible for their emotional management. I want a whole person who is secure in themselves.

One of the problems in society, I think, is the idea that people need to pair up. Women, as a whole, have learned much more quickly than men that romantic relationships may be nice, but they are not essential. We (and maybe our cats) are enough for ourselves. I don't know how to get men on that same page, too.