[–] 23 points 1 month ago

Let's be real, the most capable and resourceful person in that scenario is going to be a 45 year old single mother who's had to deal with the wiring in a shitty apartment

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  • [–] [S] 2 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Yeah, Cat's bag is still on the J'kelri space ship. I guess The bag's out of the cat (that was a reach, I'm sorry)

    Yeah, sunset doesn't make sense, I think I'll change that.

    Cat is very hungry, but cat is used to missing meals at the monastery, and the days excitement kind of overrode that feeling.

    Thank you for your feedback.

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  • [–] [S] 1 point 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

    I'm glad to hear that you like it! This is strongly inspired by Star Wars, so I'm glad it's got good vibes and not ripoff vibes lol.

    You do a lot to lay out social conventions and economic realities, maybe a bit too detailed and getting sidetracked with it sometimes, but it's a hard line to toe and you do a good job.

    Yeah, honestly this is after a bunch of editing too. I'm glad to hear that I did a good job though. I was trying to do a lot of world building because I was thinking of making it a starfinder campaign before I settled on a novel. I have a "supplemental materials" story on wattpad that's unpublished with all the details I've taken out lol.

    I like Cat but I wonder why she has internalized this belief system so thoroughly in just a few years, and wonder at the people who volunteer to help her, and think she might be being taken for a ride. I don't know how illegal the stuff her smuggler friend wants her to move is, but the thing is, neither does Cat.

    So I feel there's mystery here and Cat's naivete being purposeful and showing room to grow. I feel like diving into her new religion is her way of coping with the nightmare she found herself thrust into, far away from everyone and knowing nothing about anything, then awakening to a kind community who heard her say "I need to find my way in the universe (literally)" and they were like "it's funny you should say that." Pretty big coincidence.

    no spoilers, but your head is in the right place

    Thank you again for your feedback

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  • [–] [S] 2 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (3 children)

    suspiciously helpful sidekicks and mysterious room which is closed

    Yep, no spoilers though

    btw, did cat get her stuff from the original ship, timing is very confusing

    Like the one that Cat got to J'kelri on? There wasn't much on it, but I elaborate on it in the next chapter

    Can you elaborate on timing?

    Thank you for your feedback!

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  • submitted 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) by to c/writing@hexbear.net
     

    When I posted my first chapter, I got some good feedback and a lot to think about so I wanted to edit it and get some feedback on the second chapter, since it has a different tone. Here is a link to the edited first chapter. Thank you in advance.

    edit: Thanks again for the feedback, I promise I won't post again until the story is done

    [–] [S] 5 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Thank you for your feedback, I really appreciate it! I agree this chapter needs some work, I just sort of threw a bunch of exposition in it. I'd get rid of it completely, but it introduces some characters that are important later.

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    Hello! I wrote a book and I wanted to share the first chapter and get feedback. I have considered trying the whole nine and trying to get published, but I have a visual disability so editing is very hard for me, and honestly I don't think it's what any publisher is looking for anyway. If I get a good response I'll post more.

    submitted 3 years ago* (last edited 3 years ago) by to c/writing@hexbear.net
     

    I've been writing a book for the past year or so on a whim, and I just finished the first draft of it.

    I have no actual training in writing so it may be garbage, but I've done it, and after editing I'm going to try to publish it, and if that doesn't work I'm going to post it online.

    Sorry if this isn't worthy of a whole post, I'm just excited.

    Edit: I wrote out a synopsis in the comments so I thought I should add it here:

    So it's a sci-fi story about a human named Cat who is propelled into an alien galaxy and is taken in by an alien monastery that worships the universe as a consciousness. From there, they is sent to another spiritual leader to try to find out why the Universe sent they to their world. Cat end up being accompanied by a low-life named Kempelen, a smuggler and member of a colonized species named Fidelis, and a debutante and thief named Plu (names may change). It starts as a romp through space but ends up being a discussion of colonialism, how religion is used to control people (especially by colonial powers), dialectic materialism, and how the Labor Theory of Value proves that capitalism requires colonialism to function, even in a world with advanced robotics.

     

    Hello,

    I like to cook, and I like watching cooking videos (especially short ones as my attention span has been destroyed) but a lot of videos that get recommended to me are completely inaccessible to me due to expensive specialty hardware or are weirdly chuddy. If you know of some good channels, can you link them to me?

    Thank you, --CapnCat

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