Beluga

I’ve been eating at the same pizzeria that has been standing strong for just shy of a century, my mom used to eat their when she lived in the neighborhood and my dad reintroduced us to it back when I was 13.

After ordering my regular two slices of Sicilian, the owner gives me my drink free of charge, an arrangement we have had for about two years now. Pig chimes in, “soft drinks of choice? That’s mafia shit” I laughed it off because I like the sopranos too but then the other kept prying. “Think this is funny?” He said with a serious tone, I ignore him and thank the owner and find my booth. As I’m eating my first slice the pig that chimed in sits close to me and then starts asking me things like what I do for work and if I live in the area. “Just enjoy your slice” I say and continue eating my Sicilian. “Why are you being so paranoid, I’m just trying to make conversation?” He replies, and I keep ignoring him.

The second cop comes with his sausage pizza, nobody gets the sausage slice so it’s obvious they haven’t been here before. “This kid is ignoring me when I’m trying to make conversation, what’s up with that” he asks his partner sarcastically. First pig kinda doesn’t give a shit but rookie pig I feel is trying to make a name for himself so he can brag back at the pig pen. I wanted to involve both of them so I responded with “sausage slice what’s up with that” now first pig is fucking upset that I mentioned his slice, pigs are so weak. “You know the owner?” He asks me, I finish my first slice and then open my can of cherry soda. I always eat the first slice without drinking soda and then start drinking as I get to my second slice. Again, I ignore the question.

A few minutes go past and they’re laughing obnoxiously trying ruin my evening meal by making me feel uncomfortable. I have to rush the second slice now because I want to leave, I do feel uncomfortable at this point. “What’s the hurry?” Sausage slice pig beckons, again I continue ignoring. I brush off the crumbs onto my plate and head to the trash. I stand around for a bit enjoying my soda and then leave the can on my table for recycling, which is custom here. “That’s littering” the second pig says, “yeah throw your can away, ever heard of respect.” I start walking away but before leaving I say “never disrespect the pizza parlor.”

The 63 year old Dr Peter Sausage was sentenced today after floods of accusations against the doctor surfaced after victims’ families complained to the board of Californian health that the doctor was a fraud and that he forced his patients with ages ranging from 72-96 to smoke crack in his office. The DEA also involved in the investigation discovered that Dr. Sausage was also a crack manufacturer and use to peddle his own product at his practice. In interrogation footage back in November 2023, the doctor laughed in the face of law enforcement who explained the damages he had caused to several victims with some developing a dependency on the drug and using Dr. Sausage as a source. DEA agent Carlos Sosa said in court that the doctor would hand out the crack to his elderly patients for free and was just “amused” at the prospect of getting elderly people addicted to crack, “his drive was one out of pure amusement… besides having his own business selling crack outside of his practice, he found joy in administering his elderly patients with the drug.”

A total of 38 fell victim to the doctor’s cruel schemes with over half of them now dead, a victim of one of the patients 85 year old Dolores Flower who died in her son Adam’s home, retold the horrors during closing statements. “I just want my mom back and her grandchildren have no grandmother” just as Mr. Flower said those words, a laugh could be heard from the accused.

The doctor is now facing multiple life sentences at a maximum security facility.

The leak suggests around mid August several mile long spacecraft of unknown origin had arranged a formation around the entirety of Turkey’s borders. The inhabitants of the ships relayed a poorly translated message after 13 days after their arrival with one message, “give land or war.” It is currently unknown what this means exactly but the fact the UFO’s have only established their presence around Turkey suggests they want to claim Turkey for themselves. The highly secretive reports suggest the public is mostly unaware due to the UFO’s cloaking ability which allows the craft to blend in with the Earth’s atmosphere, they only made their presence known when a joint military operation coordinated by NATO had initially planned to use nuclear weapons after suggesting the ships could be Russian and this was an escalation. The ship is described to be miles long and is pitch black absorbing 99% of all light, the craft has a nonagonal base which is 2 miles in diameter with a “cone” like extension that is said to expand 1.5 miles in diameter, the ship emits no light whatsoever.

I want to get one.

But instead of the last name Hunting they should use Banana so it’s like Tommy Banana, Mikey Banana, Mickey Banana, Ricky Banana and so on

Governor Desantis legalized the class A drug in a bold move after hurricane Milton’s ongoing torment is predicted to leave billions of dollars worth of damage. The hurricane which is currently category 2 is predicted to become a category 3 hurricane in the coming days which has forced hundreds of thousands of Floridians to seek refuge in safer places in the state. North Carolina’s Helen left 35 thousand dead and displaced over 13 million people without homes, to date it has been the most devastating hurricane in American history and most costly amounting to 60 billion worth of damages.

The move to decriminalize crack was seen as a “Hail Mary” attempt by officials as Florida comes in second in percentage of people who use the drug, Milton will increase usage and introduce newcomers to help cope with the loss of loved ones and their properties. When Desantis was pressed on the matter, the governor quoted Cambodia’s dictator Pol Pot saying “it’s up to history to judge.”

As it seems nature has decided to shift itself months behind as temperatures all across the globe continue to rise leading to bizarre weather patterns. August and early September is known by the NHC to be “hurricane season” but to have such destructive consecutive storms in October is rare but possibly a window into the oncoming escalation of the climate crisis.

Crack cocaine was listed as a schedule 2 drug by the DEA in 1982 after scores of the drug made its appearance in low income areas introduced by the Reagan administration. The alleged “war on drugs” was a war on the lower classes in America in a joint coordinated “attack” on civilians from both the US and UK after Thatchers’ push to close the mining industry lead to large amounts of Scottish people resorting to using heroine. Thatcher and Reagan both had a “dual obsession” with Cambodia’s Pol Pot and seemingly approved some of his anti communist / removal of society methods.

Crack is made by simmering cocaine in a pot whilst whisking it continuously which forms a brown slurry which is then cooled down and forms into a solid known as “rock.” The rocks are then broken down into smaller pieces and then smoked. When consumed crack induces feelings of euphoria and bolsters energy.

and image of crack cocaine

A chorus of disgruntled Biden’s speaking over one another after the notorious son of Joe Biden suggested his father try crack cocaine which is a class A drug and can lead to a maximum term of 25 years prison if caught in possession. Hunter has been known to have been addicted to the schedule 2 drug during Biden’s two term as VEEP under Obama’s administration. At a private dinner in 2013, the former president had allegedly “warned” Biden that his son’s actions should be dealt with “swiftly”, and that the president had advised his daughters to block Hunter’s phone number after he had sent them multiple “suggestive” texts on separate occasions. Hunter is also allegedly responsible for the Biden’s family dog attacking several secret service members after he was seen blowing a cloud of smoke into the dog’s face before the dog unleashed fury sending one of the agents to an urgent care requiring six stitches.

Hunter who has an eye on younger members of the Biden family cannot be present during certain arrangements unless it is a televised press conference. These are just many of the sickening accusations and what some would say is just “the tip of the iceberg” in terms of his catalogue of misdeeds the son has committed.

So when the now allegedly sober fail son suggested the 84 year old president smoke a class A drug before a debate, the fury from the Biden’s had unleashed upon him. Hunter responded swiftly saying, “dad, detox isn’t bad and you will get the best rehabilitation, just please think about it.” Biden who was mostly absent during the gathering was allegedly “on board” with Hunter’s toxic plan and had asked the safest way to ingest the drug. “Boof it” Hunter replied and the chaos resumed with Jill screaming “he already has a prolapsed anus!” and then leaving the table with a half glass full of red and taking the bottle with her. “That’s my ma, everybody” Hunter jokingly remarked in a thick Bostonian accent to which Joe slapped his hand down on the table and said “don’t speak to the mother of your kids like that” having misspoken or possibly forgetting who his wife is in the moment, it happens.

During the meeting Hunter also kept mentioning he held “the best parties” but was doing so in an attempt to woo over some of the minors who were present at the meeting.

Project lead professor Cummings conceived the idea after watching an episode of prequel show Young Sheldon where brilliant mind Elon Musk had acquired a copy of Sheldon’s notes which the show alludes to being the reason Musk’s company Space X exists. “It (Cooper A.I. can help us reach the stars” Cummings insisted on Joe Rogan’s podcast exclusive to streaming service Spotify