Got really drunk on saturday and finally came out to my irl friend group chat. Waking up not remembering doing that was "fun". This is also the second time I've gotten way too drunk and came out (first time was almost ten years ago when I came out to them at a party as bisexual)
Would not recommend it.
internalized transphobia relating to age
In my coming out message I put in my chosen name and for the first two days afterwards, I thought that maybe I wasn't ready to do that.
On analyzing that feeling I'm realizing that it might just be attatched to my internalized shame about coming out at my age and feeling that this whole thing, this whole experience, is a kid/teen/young adult thing. Like thinking about it makes me feel like I'm going to be physically ill. I actually gag when I think about it, out of shame or embarrassment.
I think I need to talk to more older trans people.




Finished up Detransition, Baby and holy shit is that book heavy. It has such an intimate (in my opinion) understanding of trans women and how we see the world, our communities, and gender, and it really pays off in the text.
Torrey Peters seems to have a gift when it comes to writing scenes that engross you and make you empathize with the characters. The scene at the climax of the story had me emotionally, psychologically, and physically distressed and dysphoric because of how it depicts a certain character grappling with the physicality of our bodies in the middle of a heated moment.
I didn't expect a book about adults in their 30s having a baby to have so many twists and turns, it felt like I was watching a drama at times and I really hope the adaptation eventually comes out and does the book justice.
I want to recommend this book but the list of content warnings ((domestic) violence, transphobia, self harm, sexually explicit passages) probably means I'll only recommend it with the caveat that it's triggering if you're sensitive to the content.
I love me some messy trans women (Maria Griffiths my beloved) and this book really hit the mark. Overall I love this book and it's probably in my top 3 of all time and not just as trans literature.