Got really drunk on saturday and finally came out to my irl friend group chat. Waking up not remembering doing that was "fun". This is also the second time I've gotten way too drunk and came out (first time was almost ten years ago when I came out to them at a party as bisexual)
Would not recommend it.
internalized transphobia relating to age
In my coming out message I put in my chosen name and for the first two days afterwards, I thought that maybe I wasn't ready to do that.
On analyzing that feeling I'm realizing that it might just be attatched to my internalized shame about coming out at my age and feeling that this whole thing, this whole experience, is a kid/teen/young adult thing. Like thinking about it makes me feel like I'm going to be physically ill. I actually gag when I think about it, out of shame or embarrassment.
I think I need to talk to more older trans people.
I went to a trans support group this week
Took a friend and my roommate was already a regular so I wasn't alone which was really nice. I mainly went to help my friend cuz it seems like she really needed to find some kind of community, but I enjoyed it a lot as well. I didn't say much since I'm naturally super shy in new groups. Definitely wanna go back.