this post was submitted on 29 Feb 2024
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chapotraphouse

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Absolutely soaking wet

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[–] [email protected] 39 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

My god if I were being asked that question it would take all of my self-restraint not to answer the judge's question with a question.

This could be my autism shining through at full force but my first question would be to ask what the weight of an average newspaper is (people outside of the industry aren't going to have a fucking clue). If the judge brushed it aside or gave a perfunctory answer I'd ask about font size in mm.

Nobody weighs a newspaper, nobody has any clue how much they weigh, and nobody knows what a measurement like 3 tons of newspaper actually represents. These sorts of comparisons are generally only useful for a scale which is so large or so small that they are purely abstract to humans (think the scale used for microscopic sizes or for astronomical measurements) or where it's useful to understand things in a relative sense (e.g. talking about a person who is walking across the US and comparing that number of steps to how many years it would take the average person to accure that amount of steps.)

I'd just want to create an opportunity for the judge to humiliate themselves by talking themselves into a hole. If you don't know how much an average newspaper weighs, what the fuck use is a scale of measurement based on that going to be?

[–] [email protected] 35 points 8 months ago (1 children)

It sounds like he never really figured out the television, either.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 8 months ago (1 children)

"Let's say Television were film. How many reels of celluloid would it be?"

[–] [email protected] 16 points 8 months ago

Let's say the Internet was a series of tubes. What color would the tubes be?

[–] [email protected] 23 points 8 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 8 months ago

I remember him saying internet weighs as much as a strawberry.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 8 months ago

The weight of of 1s and 0s matter for reason

[–] [email protected] 13 points 8 months ago

Some random homeless person who smokes meth and is addicted to seroquel (i.e. me) would make a better Supreme Court justice.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

8.6 trillion standard size newspapers however much those weigh. Do people still bother printing newspapers? how tf would anyone know how much they weigh.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago

Something something Bukowski poem Treefrogs trying to comprehend the sky

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago
  1. It weighs 6.
[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago

I get that like, generational infighting is bullshit, and class solidarity is vastly more important; but gerontocracy definitely sucks.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago

What weighs more: a kilo of newspapers or a kilo of YouTubes?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago

Only a spoonful

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago

If all phone calls were letters sent through the post, how big would the mailbag need to be?