this post was submitted on 22 Feb 2024
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[–] [email protected] 125 points 9 months ago (3 children)

Not only does the brave little toaster have a song where cars in a junkyard sing about how worthless they are before they are crushed to death but one of those cars drives himself onto the conveyor belt before the magnet can put them there because he wanted to die on his own terms.

WTF were they showing us yo.

[–] [email protected] 69 points 9 months ago (1 children)

WTF were they showing us yo.

Life, bro. Real fucking life reflected in the shiny surface of an animated toaster.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 9 months ago (1 children)

True. I do like with children's stuff doesn't shy away from things that are more real.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Couldn't agree more, children's shows should absolutely be about peeling away the thin veneer of sanity that's all there is protecting us from the gargling, writhing chaos and madness that lies in the darkness beyond.

It builds character.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago

Exactly. Hell look at what sesame Street did back then with Mr Hooper.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 9 months ago (1 children)

You're worthless!

Whole movie is so gothic. But the danger feels so real in that one and in American Tail.

I blame BLT for causing some minor hoarding tendencies.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago

There are no cats in America is actually a deeply troubling introspection of American immigrant racism of both the immigrant and the recipient country.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 9 months ago (1 children)

But my cohort had Watership Down

Described recently as the best example of cosmic horror/literary irony

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

Art Garfunkel's song "Bright Eyes" is absolutely, beautifully, brutally sad.

[–] [email protected] 66 points 9 months ago (2 children)

People talk about how stuff from the 80s and 90s was nightmare fuel, or too uncanny to be charming, or just plain strange. I contend that there was more creativity in the 80s and 90s and we were seeing performance artists and craftspeople at their absolute peak. When I look at something like Dark Crystal and compare it with something like the latest sterile CGI pixar or dreamworks movies, I feel sad.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 9 months ago (4 children)

I fear for the day Hollywood decides to remake Labyrinth. Amazing movie with some of the greatest puppetry ever. Today it would probably be a 3D CGI crapfest. Also who could ever replace Bowie? Somehow I think they’d get Will Smith in there.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago

I don't know, they did a solid with the Dark Crystal prequel.

Fun note: we bought a dragon puppet at renfair from a guy who made puppets for Jim Henson's son.

We also have the caterpillar and Ludo from Labyrinth on our oddities shelf. Oh, and I named our dog Fizzgig because that's what he looked like as a pup: all mouthface no body.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago

1000% they would cast Will Smith.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

Labyrinth is one of my favs, I rewound the tape so many times it broke. But I don't see a movie getting made today about a grown man kidnapping a baby so that his 16 year old sister will come be his captive "obedient" lover in his castle where he keeps his riding crops but no horses. Just sayin.

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Through adult eyes, absolutely.

As a child, fuck the Skeksis.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Artax died from sadness.

It's kids movie, let's start it out on a happy note, eh?

Nah, horse dies of sad right off the bat.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago (2 children)
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[–] [email protected] 43 points 9 months ago (2 children)

That scene from The Neverending Story scarred me for life. You know the one I'm talking about. Poor Artax.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago

That movie was a freaking trip and a half. Idk what they were smoking, but I want some too.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago

The judgement angels got me first.. Artax took it to another level.

[–] [email protected] 40 points 9 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 21 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago

I hate your whine!

[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago (1 children)

One of my favorite movies growing up! I showed it to my kids when they were about the same age and scared the shit out of them lol.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

I showed it to my kid when they turned five and they still make the skeksis noise sometimes

[–] [email protected] 28 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Remember that the people making kids movies today are the ones who were the kids watching those fucked up movies from back in the day.

That, to me, says two things:

  1. What the hell were our parents’ generation trying to do to us, and
  2. The people making kids movies today are trying to save the younger generation from their trauma.
[–] [email protected] 17 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

The people that animate and come up with character designs didn't choose to make the movie they're making. The studio decided that based off of market research and focus group testing. I'm sure the artists and animators who worked on Trolls would have loved to do something maybe a little less baby and a little more "kid-edgy".

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 9 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago (1 children)

As a kid it was the guys who disassembled themselves that freaked me out more than anything else in that movie.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Took me a minute to figure out who you were talking about.

https://muppet.fandom.com/wiki/The_Fireys

They're called The Fireys, apparently.

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 9 months ago

Side note: it never fails to miff me, that bible bashers burned women and children alive at the stake, and instead of seeing that as a travesty, media backs up the bible bashers and demonises witches. People who were mainly midwives and healers. It hurts my brain.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 9 months ago (4 children)

The only family movie that gave me nightmares as a kid was the return to Oz.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

wheelers!

they could climb stairs so fast wtf

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Pfft whatever. I grew up with super friends. It was the most watered down, sanitized version of super hero action you can get. My daughter watches kids superhero stuff and they actually fight all the time. She reads the warriors books that have parts where cats rip each other to shreds.

Things are different these days of course, but this post is horseshit.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago

Pfft, probably wouldn't recognize a carebear stare if it hit ya in the face.

Amateurs.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 9 months ago (1 children)

First generation MLP is literally like Trolls (left pic) in terms of color and spirit

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago (4 children)

The witches. Mother fuck that movie. This scene, and really the whole movie gave me the creeps as a kid. Charlie and the chocolate factory weirded me out too. Fuck Roald Dahl.

[–] DakRalter 5 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I used to love his books as a kid. It was only as an adult that I realised that torturing and murdering children was his favourite theme in his kids books.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 9 months ago
  1. It is OK not to be happy all the time.

  2. It is also OK not to be the best, or even to be the worst!

  3. It is OK to acknowledge your behavior or thoughts are bad and to really experience your negative behaviors and thoughts - you can regret or feel sadness about them without looking away to escapism.

Finally, even if you are the worst among your peers, at least you aren't as bad or sad as characters of old fashioned tragedies and cautionary tales which are meant to give kids intuitive understanding of the three principles above.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago

Child catcher from Chitty Chitty bang bang: "lemme just slip into your dreams. Btw I'm under your bed now "

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago

Y'all youngins had it easy. Give Rikki Tikki Tavi a spin. Orson Well was a horrifying narrator for a children's cartoon. I had nightmares forever behind that show.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

I don't know what this is from but: Ew

[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago (1 children)

One oft the Spykids Movies has these bizzare Creatures, the stuff of Nightmares

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago

ow... right in my trauma...

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

hey Sora make a megamix of all the traumatizing childrens movie moments

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Ok so the dark crystal is a genuinely terrifying film DESIGNED SPECIFICALLY FOR KIDS

[–] [email protected] 14 points 9 months ago (1 children)

It is not for kids. Deliberately made to be a fantasy story for adults. The puppets don't mean it is for kids but, like cartoons, puppets got lumped into a "kids" categories for literally no reason.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Goddammit I love Fezziwig.

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