this post was submitted on 17 Feb 2024
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Atheist Memes

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top 37 comments
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[–] [email protected] 55 points 8 months ago

Trans Jesus is canon βœ¨πŸ³οΈβ€βš§οΈ

[–] [email protected] 38 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Wouldn't the Y chromosome come from God, and that's where Jesus inherited this magic from?

Although Mary just went straight to heaven without dying, so maybe she had some magic in her genes...

All I know is the earth is definitely older than the sun.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 8 months ago (3 children)

according to what i've heard when i was a kid, Mary birth was a miracle, her parents were to old or something and she was born without the original sin

[–] [email protected] 17 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Good ol' catholic origin stories.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago

Maybe Jesus was really bitten by a radioactive god?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago

Yeah, I believe she is the "immaculate conception"

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago

Fun fact, i was born with an original cos

[–] [email protected] 33 points 8 months ago (1 children)

So... More credibility for raptor Jesus, I see

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

yeah well, still, fuck Ken ham.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Thing is... God's spunk is so mighty, it can get you pregnant through the back door, baby.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 8 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 8 months ago

Cold hard facts.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago

Something that'd give some creationists a massive brain hemorrhage

[–] [email protected] 22 points 8 months ago

Do you know why people say, "Jesus H. Christ?" What's the H stand for?

Haploid, of course.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 8 months ago (2 children)

the end lmao

btw artificial insemination still keep the person "virgin"?, if so, god may have did that i guess lol

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

I'm very sorry, but the first thought that popped into my head is of Mary opening up, going "alright if you get it in this time it's 50 points!".
"He shoots he scores!"

I can't imagine they'd have turkey basters in those days.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago

A lot of fun is had among Catholic teens who get sloppy with their outercourse, and boyfriend's sperm navigates from the inner labia down through the canal and into the uterus.

Then the girl and her doctor get to have giggles over an intact corona and an actively progressing pregnancy.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 8 months ago (2 children)

So only people with turner syndrome should be pope. Got it.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago

growing up in that time with Turner syndrome would have made for a very empathetic individual, and could very well have been the lynch pin to her teachings.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Tina Turner can too, if she asks nicely.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago (1 children)

What about Timmy Turner?

I feel like having fairy god parents would make pope duties a lot easier. Make his blessings a bit more potent.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago

Ok, him, Tina Turner and Detective Scott Turner of & Hooch fame, but no more! Under no circumstances must Ted Turner or anyone related to him be allowed to pope around.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago

Since she was supposedly human, the only X chromosomes theory is the most solid. Unless the holy ghost was not so ghost and had a more material way to make mary pregnant.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago

Is the space pope reptilian?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago

OMG! MARY WAS THE SERPENT IN THE TREE! IT SHOULD'VE BEEN MEEEEEEEE!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago

Man, it took me 20 minutes to understand this shit. Must be cuz I am no native speaker, not that I am just stupid

[–] [email protected] -4 points 8 months ago (1 children)

that last comment makes me lol. literally any distantly possible alternative to a character being queer.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Its apologetics 101. Start with the presupposition that the bible is correct, then find any way to make it not conflict with itself or with observations. Mary was a virgin, Jesus is male, only lizards can do that, the Bible doesn’t say she wasn’t a lizard, and yay we did an apologetics!