this post was submitted on 12 Feb 2024
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[–] [email protected] 83 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (3 children)

For anyone with a gambling addiction that might take this seriously: there's no such thing as a talented gambler, if it's skill-based then it's inherently not gambling (this is why things like carnival games aren't normally regulated as gambling). This is also why card counters are kicked out of casinos, because it's not meant to be something that you can beat.

[–] [email protected] 49 points 9 months ago (4 children)

When ppl want me to play slots or go to the casino I always tell them I can save them the drive and we can just play it here:

We flip a coin, when I win you give me 10$, when I lose I give you 8$. We can play as long as you want.

Somehow when you put it like that they don't want to play anymore.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 9 months ago

You goof, you forgot to offer them a light show and celebratory sound effect when they win. Next time, remember to display an array of laser pointers and laugh manically when they pick right.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago

The only time I was ever in a casino I lost $20 in five minutes and wondered when the fun would start.

Plus they're totally overstimulating.

But the Ripley's Museum was fun.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago

Better yet:

Give me $1, and I'll roll two six-sided dice. If you roll two sixes, I give you $20.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I just flipped a coin and got 10 heads in a row.

I'm waiting for my money.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 9 months ago (1 children)

You cant stop now, you're on a streak! You gotta put that money back in the game and keep flipping!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

Jokes on you, I don't even know what the other side is called in English. Is it number or tail or something? Eitherway: my eleventh head just fall

[–] [email protected] 20 points 9 months ago

Counting cards doesn't eliminate the fact that it's still entirely chance. Counting cards just takes that 1% advantage the house has and gives it to you. It's called the edge for a reason.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Ish.

There's precisely zero skill involved in e.g. roulette.

Poker, fantasy football, and horse betting though, are influenced by skill. But they're all clearly still gambling.

The important thing in those 3 is that you're not betting against the house. You're betting against other players, and that you're the smart enough to come out on top even after the house takes their cut. Unless you're Nate Silver, though, chances are you're not the smartest person in the room.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

The distinction is usually pro gambling vs just gambling. Any endeavour where it's possible to beat the odds over the long term falls into that category.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 9 months ago (2 children)

A wise man once said: if you go double or nothing long enough, you will eventually win back everything.

[–] [email protected] 44 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (2 children)

This is true when you have infinite funds and your opponent has finite funds. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gambler%27s_ruin

This is why the house has better long-term odds, even if the odds of any individual event are even.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 9 months ago (1 children)

So what you're saying is I should take out as many loans as humanly possible and set it all on black?

On an completely unrelated note, do you still have both your kneecaps and would you be willing to co-sign a loan with me?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Not just all of it on black, you want to start with a small amount but each time you double what you put on last so you recoup the losses. You want that first number to be small so you have more chances but also for the sake of winning more money you want it to happen later rather than sooner.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

Casino propaganda to stop us real winners from cleaning house

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

Double nothing, is nothing. That wise man doesn't understand the concept of nothing, nor mathematics.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

I know a guy who does gambling for a living. He needs new people to sign up for the online casinos every time though. Just uses up all the starting bonuses and then cashes out.

Not something I'd recommend to anyone who merely THINKS they're a talented gambler though.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago (1 children)

You can just invest in gambling stocks instead and, over time, come out a winner no matter how the games go.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

You can also come out a winner no matter how the games go, by not giving any money to the shitty companies that run this stuff.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago

My dad, while he was in the army, managed to triple his salary from "luck" based games

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago

You can win money in poker. Casinos take their cut from the pot, so you are betting against the other players, not against the house.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

Don't let these meanies pull you back! Your bank balance is almost zero, you just need to push a little bit harder! And take out a loan.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

One more 12 team parlay! You never know

[–] [email protected] -1 points 9 months ago

Haters gonna hate.

Fact.