imagine a slider on a video game going way in the other direction, that is. this isn't like one of those philosophy riddle things

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[–] 79 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Alcohol is addicted to me.

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  • [–] 38 points 2 years ago (5 children)

    Partial disability from a car breaking my neck and back, causing issues with posture :: I have super human strength and endurance I use to fuck up cars for fun

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  • [–] 48 points 2 years ago (4 children)
  • [–] 28 points 2 years ago

    My greatest strength is already also my greatest weakness: hyper focus from ADHD.

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  • [–] 28 points 2 years ago

    I’m now on time. People notice my punctuality, no one actually cares.

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  • [–] 24 points 2 years ago (3 children)

    My greatest weakness is my passivity and inability to make decisions so honestly I have no idea.

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  • [–] 20 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    I become a social butterfly with insane levels of charisma.

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    [–] 19 points 2 years ago*

    Now I am immortal god.

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  • [–] 14 points 2 years ago (3 children)

    A lot of people read this as "your greatest weakness is now gone" which makes sense given the video game slider analogy

    Meanwhile I'm here like "how do I somehow, hilariously, become unstoppable by means of procrastinating everything"?

    But I did think of it: significantly extend my lifespan by procrastinating dying :]

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  • [–] 5 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    It's not a fortunate power, but time stops for everyone and everything until you are doing something that's even slightly productive.

    The cosmic burden of knowing that all of time relies on you getting off the couch, grabbing a shower, and getting done whatever tedious chore you've been putting off. Constantly.

    Not a boon, but a curse.

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    [+] 13 points 2 years ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 child)
  • [–] 12 points 2 years ago

    I am procrastinate and don't fully commit to things: I am well planned and finish everything I lay my hands on.

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  • [–] 12 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Having my head chopped off now makes me stronger and more alive.

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    [–] 10 points 2 years ago*

    I'm very forgetful, so I guess in this scenario I have an eidetic memory. I become one of those weird guys who wins every game show due to my fantastic recall of everything I've ever read, seen or heard.

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  • [–] 10 points 2 years ago

    I am happy and enjoy every moment of life.

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  • [–] 8 points 2 years ago

    I guess my head becomes invincible and nothing can hurt it and I feel no pain in my head, ever?

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  • [–] 7 points 2 years ago

    I break everything I touch -> I fix everything I touch

    The other day I saw the clock in the bathroom stop working. I swapped the batteries and it stopped working entirely.

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  • [–] 7 points 2 years ago

    i can walk again :)

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  • [–] 7 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    I'm undepressable and I don't have ADHD anymore

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  • [+] 7 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (2 children)
  • [–] 5 points 2 years ago*

    According to the rules of the post, you are now confident, persuasive, and loved!

    And the best thing of all... it doesn't just have to be a fantasy. These are all qualities that can be learned, practiced, and refined over time. It's not easy, but it can become a reality!

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  • [–] 7 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    I'm gonna be social and charismatic af

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  • [–] 6 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    My gremlins that used to crawl over every inch of my home taking things apart, leaving things in senseless places, and constantly asking for food, a listening ear and a hug - are now helping me out around the house, listening when I need another perspective and generally helping keep me out of trouble.

    TL;DR - Just parenthood, if all goes to plan...

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    [–] 5 points 2 years ago

    I become capable of doing everything I want to, when I want to do it, instead of overthinking and second guessing myself.

    I then work my way up to becoming an uploaded intelligence and abolishing capitalism. /s

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  • [–] 4 points 2 years ago

    The world is invaded by day walker vampires somehow. Most of the human population is dead or turned, those remaining live under a cloud of distrust and paranoia - anyone could be a vampire. even the people you know could've been turned since you last saw them.

    I don't notice. Because of social anxiety, I stayed indoors.

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  • [–] 3 points 2 years ago

    Not my weakness becoming a strength, but going away and now I am a different person, my inverse? But my strengths do not become weaknesses?

    Disorganization is my bane, and a complete inability to multitask, so I guess I would either be obsessive/compulsive or would be able to be an executive assistant or politician.

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  • [–] 3 points 2 years ago*

    "If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you could possibly imagine."

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  • [–] 3 points 2 years ago

    I can never be angry. Hmm guess I would change my career to be some guy who teaches seminars or does anger management sessions. Or maybe IT for the DMV.

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  • [–] 3 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    I go from being a socially awkward and unattractive virgin to suddenly being able to pull multiple women in a night.

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    [–] 3 points 2 years ago (1 child)
  • [–] 3 points 2 years ago

    Well, now that I don't absolutely suck at talking to strangers and don't fumble my words, my life just got a lot easier.

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  • [–] 3 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    My love care and empathy for other people has made me the most lovable woman in my country and the most suitable spokesperson for humankind

    Reality: I dont like people and my interactions with them , especially when I was young (partys.and stuff) only bolstered that feeling

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  • [–] 2 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Instead of being guilt-ridden and terrified of making mistakes, especially if they might cause harm to others, I get... antisocial personality disorder? Fuck.

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