this post was submitted on 28 Dec 2023
463 points (94.3% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

26915 readers
3427 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
all 31 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 39 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Does BK still say "Have it your way"?

Or M&Ms "Melt in your mouth, not in your hand."

[–] [email protected] 18 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Wait. That was M&Ms real slogan? Well now the little laugh from 50 Cent when he says that line in Candy Shop makes a lot more fuckin sense.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 11 months ago

Yep, that's the post WWII slogan. They were originally made to withstand shipping through army supply lines to resist melting

[–] [email protected] 25 points 11 months ago

Arby's: we have the meat

[–] [email protected] 21 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Once it pops, the fun definitely stops

[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Cultural differences always trip me. I spent most of my middle/high school years in the Caribbean and the attitude among guys was that the first orgasm didn't count and was in fact just the start of the session. There was almost a hurry to "pop" the first one so the real fun could begin.

EDIT: It looks like I misunderstood the comment. Derp.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I think he was saying that if the condom pops the fun stops. Presumably because then you're worried about STDs, pregnancy, and so on.

But yes, it is funny that the American sex stereotype of men is that that they finish once, quickly, and are then done. Being in more sex positive spaces, the attitude is closer to "orgasms are nice but not the whole point."

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Oooohhh, yeah. A popped condom would definitely stop the fun. That make more sense than how I read it.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago
[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

If it ripped why stop your already committed at that point. Just tell them and plan accordingly.

Not like you can reverse time

[–] [email protected] 20 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Actually, the Monster Energy one is real, I got one exactly like the one in the picture when I was 17 at a skateboarding competition and carried it in my wallet for like 3 years before throwing it away because it expired

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Protip for anybody who carries condoms:

The typical condom should ideally be kept for less than an hour in your wallet, pocket, or purse.

Condoms that are constantly moved or rubbed against each other can cause wear and tear, making them less effective. Extreme heat (around 104°F/40°C) can cause latex to become weak and sticky.

Not sure on the accuracy but it's been good advice since at least the 90's to not use a condom that has been kept in a wallet for more than a day.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

Yeah, there was no real chance of using it, it just looked cool in there

[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Oh, whoops!

I dropped my Monster condom that I use for my Magnum dong

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

Has anyone seen my wad of hundreds?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I would be terrified by a Jurassic park condom

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Oops, I dropped my Jurassic condom that I use for my TYRANNOSAURUS dong

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago

No my fear is more that "life always find a way"

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago

Bottom left one is exclusively used by dudes named Kyle

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago (1 children)

KFC is chicken flavoured and what flavour is Nike?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

I hope Kix doesn’t make one.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)

It would be great marketing for every company to give out free condoms and there may be less unplanned pregnancies. Some people would shit themselves if they saw that though

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

Won't SOMEBODY think of the CHILDREN

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

If you make them, he will cum

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

In my day the punchline to this joke was

Polo: the one with the whole... Shit

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago (1 children)

The monster one is real, I used to be a collegiate rep for them and they gave me a ton of condoms to give out (along with the drinks naturally). I'll see if I can't find some old photos of them.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

In case someone can't read what it says: "Unleash the Beast"

[–] [email protected] 0 points 11 months ago

I know i said I'm pro reposting things from reddit but this is 9gag territory already.

Anyways thanks for a blast from the past.