this post was submitted on 26 Dec 2023
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the_dunk_tank

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It's the dunk tank.

This is where you come to post big-brained hot takes by chuds, libs, or even fellow leftists, and tear them to itty-bitty pieces with precision dunkstrikes.

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[–] [email protected] 79 points 10 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 62 points 10 months ago (7 children)

They've done this in the UK. It's all oat drink, and soy drink, because animal product consumers are so fragile they hate the thought of people enjoying things that don't include animal products.

They tried to ban veggie sausages from being called sausages FFS...

[–] [email protected] 36 points 10 months ago

They tried to ban veggie sausages from being called sausages

It's so wild that they can brand their mystery meat tubes whatever the fuck they want, like, in my country you can call a sausage a "veal liver sausage" if there is 0% actual baby cow liver inside, but the monent you call a sausage-shaped piece of soy with a common sausage spice mix that's supposed to be prepared like a sausage anfd that tastes so similar to sausage that i don't want to eat it a "veggie sausage", you've crossed a red line and are "misleading the consumer" because they could accidentally buy murder-free treats.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 10 months ago (3 children)

It's so fuckin' weird, just reminds me of how cheesemakers back in the day demanded that American cheese be referred to as embalmed cheese

Processed cheese was the compromise

[–] [email protected] 29 points 10 months ago (1 children)

embalmed cheese

Idk seems pretty appropriate to me.

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 10 months ago (1 children)

They did the same in Denmark, and then when milk sales didn't pick up (because why the fuck would they?) they tried to move into the market with their own brand called "Jörd" (meaning eärth/dïrt). It's a shitty product though, so people don't buy it. The commercials are funny though, because you can just see how a boardroom full of farmers designed it. "Yeah it's hippy shit, throw in some words about nature and some hot hippy chick. That'll get them!"

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 10 months ago (5 children)

I agree with this. I understand why everything was branded as a meat replacement, but that just lead to the promise of meat taste and texture that I don't think has ever been satisfyingly achieved. "Oat drink" tells you what you're getting so your average meat-pilled flesh-maxxer doesn't feel betrayed. It can be enjoyed on it's own merits.

That was my experience when I was veggie for a few years; Meat substitutes weren't good substitutes and I didn't start to enjoy them until I learned to appreciate them on their own merits.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 10 months ago (5 children)

Except for the fact that we have been referring to liquid from plants as "milk" for centuries. Nobody batted an eye at soy milk in all these years, but suddenly it's supposedly weird or trying to replace cow milk... It's just not. I get the issue with branding vegan food as a meat replacement, but plant milk was never that.

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 10 months ago

If you buy oat milk and expect some sort of cow milk you should lose your driving license

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[–] [email protected] 79 points 10 months ago (1 children)

love that this guy's pivoting to just getting anti vegan brownie points by passing laws that effectively do nothing except inconvenience soy milk companies, really hitting all the boxes on the grifter arc bingo

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[–] [email protected] 68 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (8 children)

https://www.congress.gov/bill/118th-congress/senate-bill/549/text?s=1&r=29

Defending Against Imitations and Replacements of Yogurt, milk, and cheese to Promote Regular Intake of Dairy Everyday

[–] [email protected] 50 points 10 months ago (5 children)

You can't just skip entire words for the sake of an acronym! I'm irrationally angry at this!

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[–] [email protected] 47 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Congressional staffers must have degrees in backronyming.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 10 months ago

It’s one of the things chat gpt is quite good at. I wouldn’t be surprised if a staffer hasn’t figured that out as well

[–] [email protected] 39 points 10 months ago (3 children)

Doing anything about abortion, trans rights or stopping a FUCKING GENOCIDE?!?

Nah, gotta rename "Oak Milk" to "Oak Milk-like product"

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[–] [email protected] 66 points 10 months ago (3 children)

lathe-of-heaven

The bill passes, soy milk rebrands itself as doujiang - a traditional nutritious drink from China, its popularity explodes, the dairy reign of terror ends

[–] [email protected] 26 points 10 months ago

xibe-check give me all your east asian food

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[–] [email protected] 58 points 10 months ago (1 children)

The man-milking lobby is going to hear about this!

[–] [email protected] 44 points 10 months ago

i can't not think of IDF Cum Squads when someone mentions man-milking smh my head

[–] [email protected] 58 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

First they came for the oat milk Then they came for the milk of magnesia Then they came for the milkweed... Then they came for me (milky complexion).

[–] [email protected] 58 points 10 months ago (8 children)

If you ever supported this guy, please raise your hand so we can publicly mock you. This is your penance.

[–] [email protected] 60 points 10 months ago (1 children)

It's okay to be fooled by his mesmerizingly large body, but we still gonna mock you

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[–] [email protected] 57 points 10 months ago (7 children)

The trick is to be nakedly cynical towards everyone so that nobody can ever accuse you of having hope for a brighter future.

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[–] [email protected] 57 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I wonder what % of people look at a soy milk carton and think "it's milk! says so right on the label"

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[–] [email protected] 56 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Is... is he making the "almonds don't have tits" bit from The Ranch into public policy?

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[–] [email protected] 55 points 10 months ago

This proposal is blatantly antisemitic, effectively genociding the IOF corpse milking squad by banning their name. Fetterman is worse than Hitler, almost as bad as Corbyn.

[–] [email protected] 53 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (4 children)

CALLING LIQUID FROM PLANTS "MILK" IS NOT A NEW CONCEPT YOU FUCKING MORON AND PEOPLE AREN'T BUYING PLANT MILK BECAUSE THEY THINK IT'LL TASTE LIKE COWS MILK IN FACT MOST PEOPLE BUY IT SPECIFICALLY BECAUSE IT DOES NOT HAVE THE SAME QUALITIES AS COWS MILK YOU IDIOT YOU FUCKING IMBECILE YOU ABSOLUT DOOFUS I AM BEGGING YOU TO GO LOOK INTO THIS SHIT JUST ONCE BEFORE YOU SPOUT SOMETHING THIS DUMB. STOP CONTROLLING MY LANGUAGE 1984

I don't know a lot about the english "milk"-word but I do know a bit about its germanic root and at least there "milk" might even first have referred to liquid from plants, and THEN we transferred it to also entail that from animals. Seens like there is a case for that in english, since the usage in the 1200's meant "Milk might even first have referred to liquid from plants, and THEN we transferred it to also entail that from animals."
And we know "soy milk" has been a thing since the 1880's. AHHHHH 1984

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[–] [email protected] 49 points 10 months ago (5 children)

This is so fucking stupid. Yeah, people are just too dumb to understand that soy milk and almond milk contain no dairy. Are you gonna rename peanut butter? There's no more pressing issue than renaming shit. These people need to be hit in the head.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 10 months ago (8 children)

Are you gonna rename peanut butter?

Several EU countries with strong agriculture lobbies have laws like this on the books, and that usually leads to peanut butter being renamed peanut spread or peanut pulp.

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[–] [email protected] 48 points 10 months ago (6 children)

I always thought it was weird that lefties got behind this guy when I remember him years back on the Colbert show bragging about the public-private partnerships he had pulled off. Like it was good he had helped his town and all, but it wasn't in anyway Left.

https://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=130306219

[–] [email protected] 34 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Idk imagine living in Pennsylvania

[–] [email protected] 25 points 10 months ago (2 children)
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[–] [email protected] 46 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Government mandating that my Almond Milk now be called Almond Squeezins'

[–] [email protected] 35 points 10 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 25 points 10 months ago (2 children)

real monkey's paw moment when Fetterman accidentally unleashes the new product line of plant-based cums on the yankoid populace

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[–] [email protected] 44 points 10 months ago

Finally, people who abuse cows for a living can do it without shame 🥰

[–] [email protected] 42 points 10 months ago (5 children)

Reading "Dairy Pride" I was very shortly thinking about trans-cows and rainbows and lqbtmoo and so on.... And then came to think that just too many people will not think this is funny, so i wont go into details.

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[–] [email protected] 40 points 10 months ago (4 children)

I can’t believe I ever saw this man as my large son

[–] [email protected] 36 points 10 months ago (2 children)

They hit him with the brain-pudding gun and its been straight downhill ever since.

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[–] [email protected] 34 points 10 months ago

The radical American left in action

[–] [email protected] 33 points 10 months ago (1 children)

John Fetterman + Jordan Peterson milking taskforce.

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[–] [email protected] 28 points 10 months ago

This huge lad drinks a gallon of milk before work every morning to be the best congress-ogre he can possibly be

[–] [email protected] 27 points 10 months ago (1 children)

America's most insidious domestic bourgeoisie comprise the dairy and corn industries

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 10 months ago (3 children)

Is this when we finally get FREEDOM MILK? deng-cowboy

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 10 months ago (3 children)

soyboys are hurting the cow abuser's corporations livelihoods by calling their nut milk, milk negative

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