I topped from below. Partners told me what they wanted done to them, and I did it to them.
We called it negotiation but I knew what it really was.
I'll die a bottom >:)
It's fair to say there are tops who don't receive constructive criticism well, but those of us who do absolutely depend on that feedback to give what's wanted and/or needed.
There's no shortage of subs who give no information during or after. There's only so many times I can ask questions only to have no reply beyond a "yes mistress" or "harder please" ... I can't punish you into giving thoughtful feedback :-/
This might be harder for me, because being autistic I'm not the best at reading body cues, but I try to be honest about my limitations.
Agreed. A sub that... basically doesn't communicate, at all?
Honestly, infuriating, genuinely not enjoyable, at least to me personally.
There may be a few people who want to fuck an actual 'not a person' slave... not me.
But also... you can actually punish that.
Denial.
If you ... require... communication... do not reward the lack of it.
If you just let them get away with their poor behavior... well you're not topping/domming very well, now are you?
At that point you're basically a service top, who is also expected to read minds.
There are different ... preferences and styles here, people define these terms somewhat differently... not trying to broadly knock any of them, but... yeah you're not really in control, if you're the one doing all the physical and mental work, now are you? That's at least how I see it.
Actually require them to answer questions with more complex answers than 'yes/no', otherwise, literally sit there and twiddle your thumbs.
TBH it was rarely a problem when it was for fun and working well. Easy to make part of aftercare - "think of 3 things you'd like to add to the menu next time" and give them generous rewards after each suggestion, for example.
When you're on the clock, though, lots of clients would get pissy if you weren't 'doing something', and didn't want to communicate.
Then there were a handful that were supposed to be fun, but they just completely lacked the bandwidth to communicate in scene, and afterwards were so crossed up in shame they just couldn't talk about it. Those were one-offs, they really needed a boatload of therapy.
Tie them up in front of a computer until they've written a 3 page essay giving constructive feedback about their experience thus far.
Bonus points if a shock collar is around their leg setting off whenever they make a typo.
I read a book a while back where a sub was threatened with having to write an essay is she was naughty. ... I can't imagine that ever working IRL though, lol
I would have to use my safeword.
So being a top is basically like being a D&D DM then?
... i'd say a dnd dm would be more like directing a gangbang porno.
It's the noble task. Know the rules, make the adventure and give them the imaginary time of their lives, so you can imagine being among them.
(And you kinda are tbh, those skeletons and goblins are nothing but a boogieman disguise for the unseen member of the gang).
This is way too true. Also switches are the cruelest doms (in the best way)
not me
i have no idea how to be cruel in an enjoyable hot way
when dominating, i am quite soft
I can only hope that Banana and I are... currently demonstrating at least one way of going about this.
Check the rest of this comment chain.
I'm almost certain I'm just going to die alone. There is no top. There is no bottom. There is just forward.
you either die a child or grow old enough to treat your child the way you would have liked to be treated... if u feel like it. I know many peeps here hate children.
Third option: Power Bottom
lol, I've recently started training my wife to top, mostly to help with her self confidence outside the bedroom, and I've gotta say ... I'm getting a LOT more out of the experience than I thought I would
im second- or think im second. i wanna be second. i wanna make others feel good
cuz thats a really special feeling.
edit: ALSO!!! hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm i wonder if this relates to someone hHmMMMMMmMmmmMm... that likely wasnt intentioned (I don't mean myself)
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