all 38 comments

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[–] 37 points 2 months ago (1 child)
  • [–] 16 points 2 months ago (4 children)
  • [–] 40 points 2 months ago (2 children)
  • [–] 15 points 2 months ago (3 children)

    this one hits a little harder bc she's a lookalike to my first gf.

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  • [–] 13 points 2 months ago (8 children)

    Eehhhh we just broke up and my ass is going un-pegged for too long...

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  • [–] 7 points 2 months ago (7 children)

    If I can trust the internet, the world is full of opportunities.

    I mean siblings and step mothers and fathers and you know what I mean...

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  • [–] 5 points 2 months ago (3 children)

    Loool yeah, guess i just have to get stuck in the washing machine and some step family member ive never met will "help me"

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  • [–] 4 points 2 months ago (2 children)

    Alright, hear me out: You're washing your strap-on in the kitchen sink, and it's prominently drying on the counter when you get stuck trying to get something out of the dishwasher!

    It'd be madness if no one took advantage of this opportunity!

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  • [–] 9 points 2 months ago (13 children)

    Boyfriend: "I want more adventurous sex!"

    Girlfriend: "Great, will you help me with the laundry and the dishes first?"

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  • [–] 44 points 2 months ago (5 children)

    Transactional sex is not worth it. Both should take care of chores, and both should want sex for its own sake.

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  • [–] 7 points 2 months ago (2 children)

    I'm designing a Roomba strong enough to support two people sitting on it for this very reason. There is a way to satisfy everyone.

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  • [–] 4 points 2 months ago (3 children)

    I don't fold the laundry because I want to have sex with her.

    I fold the laundry because I'm the other adult in this house, therefore I take on the adult tasks, and when she isn't worn out from doing all the housework herself, she has sex with me.

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  • [–] 5 points 2 months ago (2 children)

    I don’t fold the laundry because I want to have sex with her.

    I fold the laundry because I’m the other adult in this house

    Demonstrating maturity and relieving your partner of household chores leaves more opportunity for intimacy

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  • [–] 5 points 2 months ago
    [–] 5 points 2 months ago

    If she loses one of her legs, she can strap a dildo to the stump and call it her peg leg.

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  • [–] 5 points 2 months ago
    [–] -4 points 2 months ago