headline: trump saves baby from house fire

The story: trump was escaping a fire in his pedophile sex trafficking dungeon and accidentally knocked a crib out the door as he ran by

Trumps rapes women and young girls and the Republicans aren't mad at all.

I didn't even need an "if" at all.

Probably because he never would and everyone would be in disbelief that someone would make such an outlandish announcement.

It would be more believable if he sent ICE in to arrest the baby to deport it after ICE set the fire.

The fun thing is, we know Trump wouldn't do anything to help someone, anyone, in a burning building.

There was a wealthy, elderly man who hit his head at Mar-a-Lago some years back. Trump noted he frantically looked for someone to clean up the blood because he was worried about the marble. And then the next day, was still bitching about the blood and how the marble looked different.

He's not going into any burning building for anyone. No matter age, no matter wealth, that man is a coward. Always has been, always will be. Their post should be "Imagine if Trump didn't dodge the draft..." because they'd have to imply he wasn't already a spineless coward 60 years ago.

Yeah because he would have lit that fire.

Because he never would. Heres a video of him standing around completely lost when an old guy faints in his presence.

https://youtu.be/Ug0ZMaQePzA?is=uDP6bgpHKmu3TNa6

For anyone under the age of 16, he is the fire.

When I went through boot camp many decades ago, my ti had a great saying about ifs, "if worms had machine guns then birds wouldn't fuck with them". One of the very few things I still remember from boot camp. Also release all the Epstein files.

Trump raped babies and Republicans still love him. So....

MAGA is so unredeemable, the only arguments they have for voting for them are hypothetical situations for which they can invent a heroic ending for their candidates.

What choice do they have? Run on their experience as crooks, traitors, racists, rapists, and pedophiles?

What I find really interesting is that the MAGA type are literally incapable of defending Trump on his own merits, they always resort to some sort of logical fallacy that deflects, distracts, or misinterprets. It implies that they are in some degree aware that Trump is indefensible, but they defend him anyway because they're brain dead and their entire ethos is built around dishonesty.

There's a saying: if a grandma had a beard she would be grandpa.

Of course liberals are going to be mad, hes just going to rape it.

Trump's first term teemed with moments that Trump did the right thing (they were rare, but, y'know, the broken clock rule) and left-wing pundits would say yeah, it's good that Trump did that.

Then he'd tweet something obnoxious about it. Or when he was thrown off Twitter, would Truth his obnoxious commentary. Sometimes it was about him taking credit, or regretting that he had to do that thing, or walking back is rational statements in favor of irrational ones.

But there were a lot of pundits who believed principle over loyalty, and would give Trump credit when it was due.

I think also that conservative types like to play pretend cause they don't have critical thinking skills. There is no "If" Trump did this or that. He is the sitting president, he needs to judge by his actions, the things he's always lying about. Trump is an 80 yo man. He physically can't even clip a medal of honor to a soldier, he can't save a cat from a tree or kids from burning buildings. Usually he's the one setting the fires and then lying about it. America wake up.

And even in the hypothetical, he was trying to molest the baby and he was the one who set the house on fire

If Trump went into a burning building the heat would react with the bronzer and he would be laminated into immobility. Not that there's any chance the coward would be anywhere near the fire.

Ben Shapiro starts every other sentence with "let's imagine xyz for the sake of argument..."

If Trump raped a baby on live television, live streamed for the entire world to see, MAGAts would still be protecting a pedophile and try to rationalize it.

Because he would have set the house on fire himself 5 minutes prior

If this were to happen, it would probably be because he started the fire by burning evidence that implicates him, and only "saved" the baby because he's a god damn pedophile.

It's funny

Here in Australia our far right wing pollie had a poster unroll behind her, and our exaggerators now are using the "what if it's a bomb" thing.

And I've been arguing the exact same. It wasn't, no chance of it. Police don't screen for embarrassing posters

I remember someone saying in the first term that "If he took a shit at the Resolute Desk they'd still defend him."

Then it literally happened. And they did.

The only reason Trump would save a baby is if he was attracted to it. Which he is.

If there were systemic efforts to improve the environment and move away from coal, republicans would shit themselves in absolute fury and make it a goal to find the nearest Leaf or Prius to “roll coal” on them in revenge.

…

Yes, if you were a member of a pedophile ring and used your political power to see that no participants were ever even investigated for the crimes, and you saved a baby from a burning house, I would still be mad at you for that first thing.

Yeah, because there's at least a 50-50 chance he started the damn fire.

Actually, I’d shake the guy’s hand and give him a pat on the back for actually saving someone.