We have seen this happen so often now, it isn't even funny anymore.

Yips, something like that. I tried to keep up with the whole debacle. Things that didn't help was that it seems that they postponed the technical goals after the political intent was decided. So this divergence would later clash in the operational details and goals, another alleged issue was not sharing details (secrecy) , and lastly the clashing ego's of CEOs.

Considering that the French wanted a plane that could deliver nukes from an aircraft carrier and the Germans wanted a fast fighter jet, just making them two separate planes that merely rely on the same interfaces where appropriate might not be such a bad idea.

The US currently has four different fighter jets or similar in service and China has nine looking at Wikipedia. So no not really a problem, if they are different enough planes, as designed for different tasks. It currently looks like they will be with France building a small, light carrier capable jet and Germany a larger, long range, heavy, fast ground based one.

They outperform in certain cases, but not all.

For example; Modern jets are flying sensor suites, that gives them abilities a drone does not have.

Similarly, tanks have become less important, but not irrelevant.

Plus they won't be able to refuse orders to fire on civilians

Forget it. Drones dont have the mass to reach such speeds.