top 50 comments

sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] 78 points 4 months ago (7 children)

And y'know what? He's absolutely great at them, and I deeply appreciate him.

  • source
  • hideshow 7 child comments
  • [–] 75 points 4 months ago (47 children)

    Fine. I fucked up and married an asexual woman because she was the first person to ever show me genuine affection and I royally fucked up.

    Sucks to be me! No kids, at least.

  • source
  • hideshow 47 child comments
  • [–] 37 points 4 months ago (2 children)

    I’m asexual and I deserve love too! I married another asexual lady and it’s great. Neither of us have to do things we don’t want to.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 20 points 4 months ago (26 children)

    What is wrong with genuine affection? The least of us are that lucky. Sex you can have with everyone and get it everywhere. You can even buy it, if you want. But love and affection is a rare commodity you can't enforce or buy or....

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 26 child comments
  • load more comments (22 replies)
  • [–] 9 points 4 months ago* (7 children)

    Do asexual people not even want to try it, out of curiosity?

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 7 child comments
  • [–] 20 points 4 months ago

    It depends on the person. Some asexual people can be quite sexually active because they don't mind or enjoy helping with their partner's sexual needs even though they're not directly interested.

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 10 points 4 months ago (1 child)

    I don’t want to try it. Don’t even want to hear about it. Don’t even have functioning genitals on account of being intersex. I thought I was horny once, but that was just when Rush Limbaugh died.

    Some people tell me, “well, you haven’t had the right dick or pussy yet!” And I always reply, “and you haven’t had the right arsenic yet, keep trying different kinds.”

    Turns out that the wizard powers for being a forty year old virgin only apply if one ever had the option or desire to lose the virginity in the first place.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • load more comments (1 reply)
  • [–] 9 points 4 months ago

    ooh, ooh! Ace here. I went through a period where sex was my special interest. I went deep down the research rabbit hole, learned all about sex toys and methods and safer sex techniques. Had willing partners.

    At the end of the day, sex is boring and no one is hot/of an attracting gender. I guess it's like if you were a super straight man and everyone else was men? I don't know.

    Now I'm into knitting and kumihimo.

  • source
  • parent
  • load more comments (3 replies)
  • load more comments (2 replies)
    [–] 28 points 4 months ago (4 children)
  • load more comments (1 reply)
    [–] 25 points 4 months ago

    Nah my hand just identifies as a women during it 🫡

  • source
  • [–] 22 points 4 months ago (4 children)

    What if I'm nonbinary, tho?

  • source
  • hideshow 4 child comments
  • load more comments (3 replies)
    [–] 21 points 4 months ago

    Uhh no, I'm just jerking a tgirl off and getting jerked by a tgirl.

    Not my gf, but eh, still good.

  • source
  • [–] 20 points 4 months ago

    Thank you off-brand skeletor!

  • source
  • [–] 20 points 4 months ago (1 child)

    Wrong. My hand doubles as Jennifer Lopez. She likes tacos and burritos.

  • source
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • load more comments (1 reply)
    [–] 19 points 4 months ago (1 child)

    And I must admit I love that dude.

  • source
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • load more comments (1 reply)
    [–] 18 points 4 months ago (6 children)

    I've been handling dick for 30+ years. Id give a great handjob.

  • source
  • hideshow 6 child comments
  • load more comments (5 replies)
    [–] 17 points 4 months ago

    Awfully cisnormative for a Pride post

  • source
  • [–] 15 points 4 months ago (5 children)

    Well, damnit — I couldn't get any other guy to do it for me!

  • source
  • hideshow 5 child comments
  • [–] 27 points 4 months ago (4 children)

    I used to work for a very shitty hotel. Like, heroin and hookers kind of hotel.

    One summer we somehow became the official hotel of something called CLAW. I have no idea what it stands for, but the basic idea is that it's a gay guys in leather convention.

    Anyways, I'm a straight male. I have no issues with these guys, but I wouldn't join in. As I'm working the front counter, this guy comes up and tries to flirt with me. I politely decline. Then he goes off to our dining room area.

    Another guy walks up to check in. As I'm doing my job, the first guy comes back, walks up to the guy checking in, and says "Heeeey, I'm Tom. Are you single?" to which the second guy says "No, but I'm free to play". Tom then gives him a room key, and says "Well I'm room 329. Feel free to bring as many as your friends as you like".

    To this day I am dumbfounded by that interaction. To any gay dudes reading this, I want you to know flirting with women and sealing the deal is NOWHERE NEAR that easy! I was impressed, and a bit jealous.

    Tom walked up to this guy, and with 1 sentence and 1 question organized an orgy in which he was not at all responsible for setting up. He's just offering a room. You bring the dudes.

    This means Tom doesn't have to vet people. He doesn't need to make sure everyone is comfortable with each other. He just told the second guy to bring all his friends, and he reaps all the rewards of orgy host!

    To put that in perspective, I'm 42, and never even had a threesome with 2 women. Because its such a hassle getting all the details just right. Meanwhile Tom's over here like "ALL of your friends please!"

    He went from "Hi my name is Tom" to "Lets pack my room with dudes" with only one sentence, and one question. Even the Germans aren't THAT efficient!

    So for you to say that you can't get any other guys to give you a handjob......brother, you're just not trying! Have you tried opening with "Hello"? Apperently that leads to orgies.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 4 child comments
  • load more comments (4 replies)
  • [–] 13 points 4 months ago

    God damn DLSS 5 upscales removing artistic intent! There's supposed to be no meat on Skeletor's bones!

  • source
  • [–] 12 points 4 months ago*

    If you wouldn't let the homies jerk you off, are you even friends?

  • source
  • [–] 11 points 4 months ago (1 child)

    Inverse if you are a girl, everytime you masterbate you're getting fingered by a girl

  • source
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 10 points 4 months ago

    This sounds like something a christian fundamentalist would say, to stop the youth from masturbating.

  • source
  • [–] 10 points 4 months ago (1 child)

    He knows what he's doing and I love him.

  • source
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • load more comments (1 reply)
    [–] 10 points 4 months ago

    Yeah, but he's sooo good at it.

  • source
  • [–] 9 points 4 months ago (2 children)
    load more comments (2 replies)
    [–] 8 points 4 months ago (4 children)

    Vast majority of hentai is drawn by men.

  • source
  • hideshow 4 child comments
  • load more comments (2 replies)
    load more comments
    view more: next ›