698
smart ☝️🤓 (thelemmy.club)
submitted 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) by Buage_@piefed.social to c/lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world
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[-] Mac@mander.xyz 114 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Spend lots
Go into debt
Buy successful company
Load it with your debt
File (it) for bankruptcy
Make out like a bandit

Rinse, repeat

[-] Flower@sh.itjust.works 39 points 4 days ago

TL;DR: private equity

[-] NannerBanner@literature.cafe 25 points 4 days ago

You can actually skip step 1 if you want. That's what they did with toys'r'us. Those actions have long since convinced me anything financial is just a game played by the very rich.

[-] Rivalarrival@lemmy.today 4 points 4 days ago
[-] architectonas@lemmy.world 7 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Winning is easier by not sticking to them

[-] NannerBanner@literature.cafe 4 points 3 days ago

Yeah, and in our current world, there are a lot of specific loopholes that are made to be exploited. It's almost like the people 'winning' the game have written the rules of the game...

It's this what America is trying to do?

[-] areakode@riskeratspizza.com 48 points 4 days ago

Buy up everything and then default on our loans? Yup. If they aren't trying, their incompetence is actually pretty impressive.

[-] IAmYouButYouDontKnowYet@reddthat.com 12 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

We are trying to outsource our debt to china.

Its all games. I don't thing people that care are ready for how fucked up humanity is going to get. But worse than that, I don't think many care.

"They" have humanity by the balls.

And damn... Like I said... I don't think people understand... All these people we called terrorists might have been trying to save us.

[-] ThunderQueen@lemmy.world 2 points 4 days ago

"might" is doing a lot of work there. A huge amount of "terrorists" are doing exactly that

[-] BarbecueCowboy@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 4 days ago

Man, no trying, it's past and present tense now, doing and successfully did.

[-] Seaguy05@lemmy.world 22 points 3 days ago

Isn't this the exact plan for all private equity acquisitions. The most recent one coming to mind was the fabric store Joann's. PE came in bought the company, saddled it with their debt used to buy it, strip mined it, and then declared bankruptcy.

[-] Pacattack57@lemmy.world 10 points 3 days ago

This is unironically what people do. They buy businesses, sell all the assets, pay themselves exorbitant bonuses for having a profitable quarter from selling all the assets and then sell the business. After someone buys it it’s like a 60% bankruptcy rate post sale.

[-] TomasEkeli@programming.dev 4 points 3 days ago

And then other businesses that have "too good" numbers buy those failing businesses and let them go bankrupt to use as larger write-offs and get tax rebates.

[-] lath@piefed.social 44 points 4 days ago

Loan was not approved. What now?

[-] notabot@piefed.social 54 points 4 days ago

Set up a shell company. Set up a trust somewhere with no capital gain tax. Shift ownership of the shell to the trust. As the shell, come to an agreement in principal with the bank to buy it. Use this as colateral to raise a loan from the bank for the purchase amount. Transfer the debt to the bank as part of the merger with the shell company. The bank now basically owes itself to itself. Sell the combined company from the trust, thus avoiding capital gain tax.

[-] merc@sh.itjust.works 5 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

come to an agreement in principal [sic] with the bank to buy it

I assume this would go as well as Gamestop trying to buy Ebay.

[-] pez@piefed.blahaj.zone 1 points 4 days ago

That was no typo. Gonna use that principal like a tauntaun.

[-] starchylemming@lemmy.world 18 points 4 days ago

take out a smaller loan to bribe the person who appeoves the loans

[-] gigastasio@sh.itjust.works 15 points 4 days ago

Brute force loan application: Keep trying random identities until one goes through.

[-] Rothe@piefed.social 5 points 4 days ago

Be a billionaire of course. This only works if you are rich.

[-] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 7 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

pulls out minigun from payday 2

loan approved

😎

[-] Zwiebel@feddit.org 1 points 3 days ago

Employee is a nerd who knows you don't have the power cable plugged in

Loan declined

[-] vane@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago

Please dad. It's for good cause.

[-] ashenone@lemmy.ml 2 points 4 days ago

Set the bank on fire and try the next one

[-] Etterra@discuss.online 16 points 4 days ago

Good luck with that 1st part.

[-] strop@lemmy.ml 10 points 4 days ago

We found the jealous one 🙄

[-] Matty_r@programming.dev 13 points 4 days ago
[-] Agent641@lemmy.world 7 points 3 days ago

Here's 20, keep the change!

[-] ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 18 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

It's not actually ridiculous in principle.

Let's say I start out owning a bank with ten billion in assets, and the bank's value comes entirely from its assets so it's worth ten billion.

The bank loans its ten billion to you, and you pay me those ten billion for the bank. Now I have ten billion in cash instead of a bank that was worth ten billion, and you have a bank worth ten billion to which you owe ten billion. No one's net worth has changed.

You default on your loan to your own bank. Now the bank is worthless (its worth came entirely from the loan) and you have no debt, so your net worth still hasn't changed. Effectively nothing has happened.

[-] mech@feddit.org 32 points 4 days ago

But now you can lobby the government to bail out your bank using tax money.

[-] merc@sh.itjust.works 4 points 4 days ago

The bank loans its ten billion to you

A bank that's subject to government regulation isn't going to do that unless "you" have billions in assets to justify that kind of sale.

and you pay me those ten billion for the bank

And surely you report that sale on your taxes and pay the relevant taxes, right?

No one's net worth has changed.

Except you, once you've paid your taxes.

You default on your loan to your own bank.

Ok, so "you" missed the payment. Now what? You think "you" can walk away cleanly? Declaring bankruptcy to wipe your debt is only something that's available if the government provides that kind of mechanism, and generally that's only available to people who have otherwise followed all the rules, which wouldn't include buying a ten billion dollar bank when they had no assets.

The only way this scenario works is if you ignore all the laws. But, if you're ignoring the laws, why not just make it simpler and simply steal the bank's assets?

[-] davidagain@lemmy.world 4 points 4 days ago

Sweet of you to think that people this rich typically pay their taxes.

[-] ptu@sopuli.xyz 2 points 4 days ago

Geesh, your point made me think that it wasn’t an actual career path

[-] gegil@sopuli.xyz 3 points 4 days ago

Is capitalism real?!?!n1?

[-] zr0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 4 days ago

Except that there is also value from other clients and from the brand, which is then helping you to actually earn money

[-] marcos@lemmy.world 1 points 4 days ago

Effectively nothing has happened.

A lot of people lost a lot of their money and got their lives destroyed. Also, the previous owners liquidated their shares.

But yeah, you haven't got any richer.

[-] stickyprimer@lemmy.world 1 points 4 days ago

nothing has happened

Right, which is why it’s not some hero-swaggers-triumphantly maneuver. That’s the ridiculous part.

[-] stickyprimer@lemmy.world 11 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

But the bank is worth $10 billion less.

[-] callyral@pawb.social 9 points 4 days ago

step 1: buy a money factory

step 2: profit

[-] CaptainBasculin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Disco Elysium situation summarised in a meme

[-] webghost0101@sopuli.xyz 6 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)
  1. aquire money trough established capitalist social network

  2. Buy a successful small businesses with employees included.

  3. Run it trough the ground to extract all profit and value of to recover the money used to buy it

  4. You barely made money on this but you are “famous company” and they where just an obstacle for your competing products who are making more now.

  5. Repeat

[-] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago

Load all the computers onto my truck. I'm starting a new ebay store.

[-] superweeniehutjrs@lemmy.world 4 points 4 days ago

I feel like the closest real thing is a leveraged buyout

[-] Chee_Koala@lemmy.world 4 points 4 days ago
[-] OttoVonNoob@lemmy.ca 4 points 4 days ago

Ahem, you skipped a few steps but ya your close to it. https://youtu.be/x9P-pYGu_ws

Noncredible economics

[-] PattyMcB@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago

Step 5: Profit

this post was submitted on 27 May 2026
698 points (99.4% liked)

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