Explanation: The Praetorian Guard were the main bodyguard of the Emperors of the Roman Empire. They had a… nasty tendency to turn on the Emperors they were supposed to be protecting, either overthrowing them or extorting them for more bribes. Hope you're willing to pay regularly to renew your subscription to "not being stabbed to death", my Emperor!
Actually the minimum plan is now Not Being Stabbed to Death Plus but you should probably just pony up the extra dinar for Not Being Stabbed to Death Max.
Sometimes they were right tho - with Caligula for example. And some other times it was like with Aurelian. 🌝
They had scorpions on their shields, a symbol of trust, not of backstabbing.
this post was submitted on 15 May 2026
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