Smile and look around at all the people who want to celebrate you, and muse on how fortunate you are to have them in your life.

Masturbate furiously. The goal is to finish when the song ends.

No idea, but once I was feeling extra awkward and started singing along with the rest of them.

Move your hands like you are conducting the symphony.

scream in pain and agony until its quiet, then say "thank you everyone, let's enjoy the cake"

Slap on a grateful expression, stare into the candles, and conjure up a wish worthy of the magic they're casting with this ancient chant.

Immediately blow the candles out and get them to stop singing so it’s no longer awkward for everyone involved.

When I was little, I always did a weird cringey little dance. As an adult I started doing it again. It makes an awkward situation (for me), fun.

https://i.giphy.com/gjgWQA5QBuBmUZahOP.webp

Bathe in the adulation, absorb their hymn of worship like the shining golden god you are. To thine own self be true! Happy Birthday = Hail Satan

Twerk

Join in but replace every instance of "you" with "me."

You're supposed to sit there awkwardly looking deeply embarrassed.

Join in the singing but replace the word "you" with the word "me".

Grab your cat and prop them up like they're being marionetted and make them do a little dance

Smile and wave boys, smile and wave

Hand out cigars

Practice your death metal vocals

Grin and bear it

Cry.

unzip

Stand up, hand on your heart and sing along but with "to meeee"

I usually just screech loudly until it's over or the restaurant staff come over to intervene

Find the exit.

I absolutely loathe this tradition, and I ask everyone to not do it in celebration of me. I also ask friends and family to not let anyone know it's my birthday at any restaurant we're at, as well. I fucking hate being sung to. Like, a lot. Just give me a pat on the back or something for Chrissake.....

This is the greatest comment section ever

Stare at everyone with disdain except for one person. Pure contempt for that person. After the singing has concluded. I point at that one person and say “Execute them”. Damn it feels good to be good to be a benevolent dictator.

Think about how you're slowly creeping towards death.

Stare at the candles until they burn a hole in your retina

Class warfare

I just sit there and guess if the singers will use my full name, or the short form, or my nickname. And then giggle stupid when they inevitably try to use all 3 together.

Become the conductor of the choir.

Sing with them.

Smile and clap the beat