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submitted 1 month ago by daannii@lemmy.world to c/cat@lemmy.world

He meows. Makes hard eye contact but if I touch him , he gets mad and runs off.

What? What do you want!?!?! Why are you staring at me and meowing if you don't actually want me to do anything?!

He also seems to get mad and run off if I just look back at him and not try to pet him.

If I try to ignore him he just rolls around and sometimes does this little ridiculous "tantrum" deal where he will stand up and dramatically throw himself down and then roll onto his back. It's always loud cause he's a big cat. It can't feel very good. But he does it all the time.

Idk. Maybe he just likes being dramatic.

Anyway. Any cat whisperers who have figured it out, let me know.

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[-] N0t_5ure@lemmy.world 92 points 1 month ago

Cats will often show you their belly as a sign of trust, as it makes them vulnerable. Some cats love to have their bellies rubbed, others view it as a breach of trust and will shred you, even though they flopped over. If it's a cat you don't know, the best thing is to just reach down and scratch the top of their head around the ears. If you want to see how far you can push it, give them scritches under the chin, move down to the upper chest, and inch your way lower to see how far they're okay with going.

[-] CmdrShepard49@sh.itjust.works 109 points 1 month ago

give them scritches under the chin, move down to the upper chest, and inch your way lower to see how far they're okay with going.

This quickly turned into cat fan-fiction

[-] daannii@lemmy.world 18 points 1 month ago

If I even approach with my hand he gets mad and runs off before I even make contact. He is generally fond of cheek rubs. But he won't even let me do that when he's on his back.

[-] Rappe@sopuli.xyz 29 points 1 month ago

To me it sounds like it could be what some littermates do to eachother, he's calling you to play. Our cats will do this same thing, but to each other: Jade will first go groom Ciri's face for a bit, perhaps a little stranglehold here, or she flops down in front of her sister, asking her to jump on top and wrestle, a lot like what you've described in the post. YMMV obviously, you know your cat better than a stranger online etc., but my two cents from my experience with a lot of litters in the past, I've seen this before many times.

It can also be what comment above said, he could be just showing his trust to you, but since it's such a high stakes thing, he could be a little overstimulated and doesn't know what he actually wants, and just reacts like his instincts are telling him.

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[-] Rappe@sopuli.xyz 5 points 1 month ago

I think you might be right from what I can gather without a video to check the body language and a longer term observation.

Spot on, but I would personally go for slow horizontal approach to cheeks if you don't know the cat, a lot of cats freak out about things above them, so going directly to top of head is a bit risky, and has gotten me bit before. I would offer a scent mark target first, just stick a (tucked in, hard to bite!) knuckle out for them and if they rub their cheek against it, you're golden. After that I would move to chin and then top of head/behind ears.

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[-] mech@feddit.org 63 points 1 month ago

With my cat, it's an invitation to play fight.
So I put on an oven mitt, tickle her belly and she clamps down on it and tries to kill it.
But she doesn't extend her claws or actually bite down, and when I remove my hand she goes back to the position on her back. Which tells me she seems to enjoy it.

[-] crank0271@lemmy.world 52 points 1 month ago

Blood (yours)

[-] starblursd@lemmy.zip 44 points 1 month ago

My cat does this for belly rubs... Her software is bugged and doesn't have a limit on belly rubs. Also to scratch her back on the carpet. She will also let me spin her like a beyblade while doing this for some reason and keep laying on her back for more belly rubs

[-] SapphironZA@sh.itjust.works 36 points 1 month ago

Attention. Purely you just talking to him and staying around him is enough usually.

Some head and ear scratches might also be acceptable.

Belly rubs might be interpreted as an attack.

[-] PeculiarGoat@lemmy.world 28 points 1 month ago
[-] baggachipz@sh.itjust.works 13 points 1 month ago

Pls pet?

No touch! Only pet!

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[-] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 25 points 1 month ago

My cat will allow brief chest pets. NOT belly rubs!!!

Mostly I think she just wants me to stop walking and give her my full attention. She flops right at my feet. Usually while I'm carrying something.

Sometimes she'll let me touch her paws too, NOT in a grabby way, just with my fingertips.

(She normally allows face scritches and back pets but this position isn't conducive.)

And sometimes I just take a few seconds to tell her good things about herself, like she's smart and pretty and brave and strong.

Fortunately, cats are cool with the attention only lasting a few minutes.

[-] Paranoidfactoid@lemmy.world 25 points 1 month ago

Showing their belly means they trust you. If they let you rub their belly they really trust you.

[-] SocialMediaRefugee@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago

What if you stick you face in their belly and go "wuzza wuzza wuzza"?

[-] TheMinister@sh.itjust.works 12 points 1 month ago

First part is correct. Second part not necessarily. Some don’t like having their bellies touched no matter how much they trust you. The show of trust is exposing their belly, going for he belly is usually taken as a betrayal of that trust.

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[-] Supervisor194@lemmy.world 23 points 1 month ago

Try getting a feather on a stick type toy and pulling it out when he does this. I'd say he wants to play, but doesn't want to engage your actual huge ape body when it comes down to it. In any case, it's a sign he considers you his human. He's really a beautiful cat.

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[-] Sergio@piefed.social 21 points 1 month ago

It depends. It's like when a human says "I love you." In some cases it's time to blow them a kiss and cook them some crepes. In other cases it's time to double-check your safeword and tighten the straps.

[-] daannii@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago
[-] masterspace@lemmy.ca 20 points 1 month ago

If they lie like that peacefully and contently then it's because they find it comfortable.

If they're active and trying to get your attention, but don't want pets, then it's because they want to play.

[-] sploder@lemmy.world 17 points 1 month ago

My cat does this when she’s happy. She’ll fall asleep like that with a literal little smile on her face in the sun and when I see it I explode because it’s so damn cute. She’s also an old girl so I have to kinda make sure she’s breathing these days and didn’t literally go belly up and give up the ghost on me 😭😭

[-] 100_kg_90_de_belin@feddit.it 7 points 1 month ago

Pets really nailed down the manipulation through cuteness

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[-] texture@lemmy.world 16 points 1 month ago

hes telling you he likes you and is happy youre here and doing whatever youre doing.

not all cats showing belly want belly touched, simple as.

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[-] Quibblekrust 13 points 1 month ago

Put on a thick leather work glove and wrestle him.

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[-] reksas@sopuli.xyz 13 points 1 month ago

i think it means they want attention, when my cat did this she wanted me to pet her or go to her so she would have me follow and show she wants to go out or have some food.

I assumed she just knew how cute she is and deliberately wanted to be even more cute so i would have to come to her, which i always did precisely for that reason.

[-] Notyou@sopuli.xyz 12 points 1 month ago

Belly rubs and blood. Did you try slow blinking at him before touching? Maybe he wants you to touch him but is nervous.

[-] daannii@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago

Sometimes he will do kitty winks back and forth with me. But tummy is off limits.
He has never liked that.

I think he wants to play with a wand toy. He seems open to that.

[-] mvirts@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago
[-] NochMehrG@feddit.org 12 points 1 month ago

It’s a trap!!

[-] Fedizen@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago

It means the cat is bored

[-] LytiaNP@lemmy.today 10 points 1 month ago
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[-] jordanlund@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

Every cat is different. One of ours demands belly rubs like this.

Another one cannot tolerate being touched in any way. You go to pet her and she's like:

https://youtu.be/8DajVKAkL50#t=25s

[-] Australis13@fedia.io 9 points 1 month ago

He wants attention. One of mine does this (including the repeated walking around and flopping dramatically in my line of sight) but only wants a cheek scritch. Everything else is off limits. Sometimes they also want you to play with them (if you have cat toys). But almost never do they want a belly rub.

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[-] felixwhynot@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago

Attention, pets, or possibly play time. Try a string or wand toy?

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[-] jaybone@lemmy.zip 9 points 1 month ago

My old cat used to love belly rubs, and would never attack. Miss her so much.

My new cat doesn’t offer. I don’t think she understands the concept. She was a stray and still pretty young. Maybe she will grow into it.

[-] fodor@lemmy.zip 8 points 1 month ago

One of my cats lays on her back and stretches out when she's hot. If you try to scratch her belly, she will claw your arm off. So she has clearly communicated that I should not scratch her belly and that's an easy message to understand based on the scars.

My other cat loves belly scratches, but she prefers if I pick her up for them.

The easy thing to do is try various actions and then stop doing the ones that result in you getting your arm torn off, and whatever's left over, that's what the cat likes

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[-] ef9357@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

He’s bored and wants to play.

[-] TerrabyteMarx@quokk.au 7 points 1 month ago

Head cup and little scratch behind ear. Quality trust time, ignore incidental cat tum for now.

[-] Lupo@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

To feel the weight of their sins on their bellies instead of their backs.

Like a weighted blanket

It's comfy

[-] Bonesince1997@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

If pets aren't what he wants because he runs off if you get close, try laying down next to him, as close as he'll let you, and imitate him. Curiosity may get the best of him and he may come over to you and scope you out!

[-] GameOverFlow@lemmy.zip 6 points 1 month ago
[-] king_comrade@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

You trying to get the man killed?!

[-] BurgerBaron@piefed.social 5 points 1 month ago

One of my cats is not a lap cat on most ocassions but does actually want belly rubs. I just have to join them on the floor if he flops over like that.

The other doesn't like belly rub but will try to sleep on me whenever I sit down.

So, depends on the cat!

[-] SocialMediaRefugee@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

Mine wants belly rubs. This goes on for a bit until he decides you are a chew toy now.

[-] SocialMediaRefugee@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago
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[-] Ephera@lemmy.ml 5 points 1 month ago

Never had cats, but is that not a playful pose? At least, I believe they do this when they want another cat to play with them.

Of course, there's the trouble that you're not a cat, so can't really wrestle with them like another cat would. But yeah, maybe you can poke at them or next to them, so they can avoid your 'attacks' as a game.

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this post was submitted on 11 Mar 2026
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