I have yet to find a pro-gay, pro-trans, anti-racist Conservative

And you're not going to. That's like looking for a flying submarine — the definitions of those words are contradictory.

The main problem is that they are told by their preachers and their political commentators that queer teenagers are literally hurting them. It is delusional but when everyone you put the most trust into is telling you a lie, you believe them. It is the epitome cult programming.

You MIGHT find what you are looking for in the never Trumpers that were able to see MAGA for the cult it is but even then it isn't a guarantee that they have seen through all the programming they were raised in.

You made 4 mistakes Larry/Scotty:

1. Believed your framing can affect folks.
2. Believed in “respect”
3. Believed everyone has empathy
4. Believed in a myth the uneducated call “common sense.”

1. Preaching doesn't work. Our brains naturally develop mechanisms to ignore contradictory evidence. There are few methods to mitigate this.
2. “Respect” is a cultural phenomena that is disciplined on very few cultures. It is not something people learn, you have to discipline it, early, before the backfire effect sets in.
3. Not everyone grows a frontal lobe, or the capacity to empathize. Sadly “Conservatives” tend to trend in the dark triads spectra.
4. Since you have just learned not everyone can empathize, you should now be aware the myth of “common sense” really cannot exist. Dehumanization isn't common, yet Conservatives praxis something extraordinary. Whether they are aware of it or not, their senses are not “common,” not by a long shot. So please, stop believing on a shitty lie.

This is an adaption to survive under a paranoid militant state that punishes diversity.

I don't think it's a matter of common sense because many negative emotions are natural although they often have bad effects. It's more a matter of values.

I really think that the defining difference is related to empathy. Either you are wired in a way to feel empathy towards “others”, or you aren’t. Most people who identify as conservative see those others as dangerous, and are unable to relate to their experience, or to imagine shared values.

Same.

And it's only going to get worse as people resist regulation of corporate social media, the most effective tool for getting people to be outright dicks to each other for no good reason.