Æ e tilbake i dætt nettsamfunne. Æ lære trøndersk fordi d'e' mine forfedres dialekt...

Ka skjer??

I am not doing the best mentally. Because of this, I tend to attract people with mental health issues. This has happened once already, with my girlfriend acting pretty on edge and talking to me in what felt like a condescending tone. When I would talk to her about this, she’d get more aggressive.

One thing I should note is she doesn’t have many friends and tends to push them away or say they all left her.

I asked her for her thoughts on something, I don’t even remember, but then later on she went on about how abused she felt and that no one cared about her and she only cared about her problems and she wouldn’t care about other people’s problems, that they were abusing and bullying her if she was expected to care about her loved ones.

American, my family only speaks English, but my teacher was talking about India's 22 official languages and how they vary by region. He also talked about English kind of uniting them and being the common language for communication and how this couple had a man and a woman from different regions who both spoke English.

I've always been sure I was ace. I've had less of an interest in sex than others, always have. Occasionally, my hormones would spike and make me feel horny, but only to fictional characters or not for specific people, and I'd never think about directly having sex with them. I don't look at porn either or anything like that simply due to a lack of interest.

I've always struggled differentiating platonic from romantic feelings, and thought romantic attraction had to be a certain way, seeing it as black and white with stuff like "If she doesn't kiss me or say she loves me, then we might as well just be friends". I also feel like a lot of what I want can be seen in really close friendships with not necessarily kissing, but cuddling and headpats and being complimented a lot or called "good boy" or something in a platonic way.

But here's the thing, me and others have noticed. My attraction, even to fictional characters, isn't "typical". It's primarily based on aesthetic attraction. I don't get attraction really to "deep" characters, moreso just random or comedic characters. Ones that only serve one purpose, have one/no personality trait and are just a bit/gag character, etc.

Literally a John Doe, Mr. Generic type guy. And even for girls, though I do deeply love my one crush, they seem to be your typical "background character, kind and pretty woman with long hair".

When I was lonely, I'd consider dating anyone, get embarrassed, and mistake it for "I wanna date everyone and I'm blushing because I like them". Also, I could see myself dating any of my friends if they asked, not just one in particular.

People suggested demiromantic, but I don't see it. I do desire deep connections, but my attractions are very aesthetic-based and rather than only liking them once I get to know them or not feeling attraction unless someone's interesting and sparks it, it's more like "This character is boring and could have any personality but they're attractive"

Looking for a place to express myself with nerdy interests like tech, anime, and games. LGBTQ+ supportive, please, but that could be most instances.

Languages I'm looking for:

Maybe an opportunity to study German

Indonesian, if such an instance exists

Spanish

Portuguese

French

So, I recently discovered I 100% am on the aroace spectrum. I've always been more open to romance, open to trying sexual things, and the like. However, I've had many people not believe I'm aromantic. They'll either tell me I'm just neurodivergent, or one day I'll meet the right person.

My family expects me to be with a guy due to me being a closeted transmasc person who they see as a girl. The guy they want me to be with, ideally, is conservative, too. I can form alterous attraction to any gender, even though it's usually women I find more appealing, so if I had to pick a guy, he wouldn't be homophobic or bigoted, he wouldn't be a predator, and he wouldn't be a mean/bad guy.

Anyway, I don't know why, but I'm kinda expected to just "meet the right one", even though I know they're old-fashioned.

Why is it so hard to believe that some people just can't feel standard attraction? The attraction I do feel is 100% towards fictional characters without a doubt because I'm something called fictoromantic.

I don’t really know where to ask this.

I need to work on my self-esteem issues, a lot of which are caused by my home life. I’m “not logical”, clumsy, dumb, not smart, etc.

But they call me smart when it comes to my schoolwork as in, “You’re smart, you can do your work.” When I’m stressed.

My family wants me to be perfect and I’m just not.

They make jokes when I’m upset, and when I’m upset or try to tell them, I’m “too sensitive” and they go on about how insecure and how weak I am.

I broke up with my partner. They said I was too sensitive and insecure because I was upset about having to block the person. One of them laughed and said “You’re still upset?” When it happened 30 minutes before they said that.

Even my sister puts me down or calls me names sometimes to fit in.

My brain is always pretty bored and jumps from language to language, so I learn a bit of Language A, then Language B, then switch back and forth. French has shorter chapters on the app I learn it with, Busuu, and I already know a good amount of Spanish (which I study in school) and Portuguese. However, while Italian might cause me to mix up Spanish, Portuguese, and Italian, it's easier to pronounce. It also, however, has longer lessons on Busuu.

French is spoken in many countries, though, and I'm also LGBTQ if that makes any difference, since some people study languages from countries that don't support/respect the group they're part of.

cross-posted from: https://thelemmy.club/post/55106938

They didn’t give me that much affection, but I still miss said affection and good times. I know we’re still young, but I’ve been really upset in the relationship. From their point of view, I feel like I was a mean person who did them wrong and just abandoned them when I was closest to them, and I understand if they hate me now and talk behind my back and all their friends hate me.

They told me some weird things like that I couldn’t be aromantic because I was too young (said person also identifies as aromantic despite being a year younger than me) and that I’m just autistic so I don’t understand love.

They’ve been insensitive and laughed when I was upset and kept saying “LOL LOL” or similar stuff.

I do feel bad, but they wouldn’t listen when I wanted to break up. They’d convince me to stay, get mad at me, and act like it was my fault or try to make me feel bad for wanting to break up.

We’ve been friends since I was in like 7th grade, so this really does suck. They always seemed like they were this very progressive human rights activist too, but when it comes to me, I’m a confused girl…

They didn’t give me that much affection, but I still miss said affection and good times. I know we’re still young, but I’ve been really upset in the relationship. From their point of view, I feel like I was a mean person who did them wrong and just abandoned them when I was closest to them, and I understand if they hate me now and talk behind my back and all their friends hate me.

They told me some weird things like that I couldn’t be aromantic because I was too young (said person also identifies as aromantic despite being a year younger than me) and that I’m just autistic so I don’t understand love.

They’ve been insensitive and laughed when I was upset and kept saying “LOL LOL” or similar stuff.

I do feel bad, but they wouldn’t listen when I wanted to break up. They’d convince me to stay, get mad at me, and act like it was my fault or try to make me feel bad for wanting to break up.

We’ve been friends since I was in like 7th grade, so this really does suck. They always seemed like they were this very progressive human rights activist too, but when it comes to me, I’m a confused girl…

"I will talk to a therapist because I’m not sure, maybe both? But here’s a bit of what I’ve written down:

I've always had a problem with relationships, maybe it's my autism, maybe not, who knows? But I've always been too "intense" and called crazy or yandere. I need to discuss with a professional, but here are some things I wrote.

"I'm gonna get professional help and find out what's wrong. It'll be hard though since I have autism and I'm a teen and I heard they don't diagnose autistic teens but a person who hates me said that so IDK if I can accept his comments as fact or not, we used to be friends until he started hurting me and being rude.

Anyway, IDK what it could be but I do have problems. If you come here to damage my self-esteem, please don't, but you can share your experiences. I already acknowledge I'm a bad person.

I do respect her boundaries, but I also feel like I can't form a connection with her. She says we're friends, but people have said she wants nothing to do with me and that she's "just being nice", especially since she's an art account who doesn't want to look bad for her fans or whatever. IDK how true that is, but she never knows what to say when I talk to her, but then again she wants me to make art for her, so that means she doesn't hate me, right?

I feel like a disgusting creep like I've been called my whole life by people for being too intense and clingy. I'm insanely obsessive, no joke. And at first, I felt rejected and decided I wouldn't talk to her, but I've calmed down and I'm too attached to cut contact entirely. She said I could message her but not every day and that she'd tell me if she didn't wanna talk. I know it's not her fault, probably not mine, maybe it is, so why do I feel so bad?? Or maybe, why DID I since I'm better now? We're friends regardless, right? She didn't just outright ghost me and call me names."

“Prone to obsession

Prone to attachment

Self-aware, lucid, doesn’t jump to conclusions when not attached to said person. Would be suspected to be “normal” or without any disorder.

Intense attachment and fixations on people

Non-crystallized sense of self

Derealization at times or “shifting” into my favorite character

All-or-nothing attachment

I can see you as a normal person one day, and the next you’re everything to me.

I stay online anxiously waiting for your text, I can flip my lid if rejected and go to thinking “they hate me!!! And they want me to SUFFER!!!” Attachment is source of stress and can cause anger but also happiness. I will find reasons to not like you or think you’re mean even if I like you at the same time.

Impulsive and indulgent, won’t pull away from something or someone that makes me happy.

Doesn’t self-harm but thinks about it when having intense emotions (used to impulsively hit/punch arms or head but then got on medication and seems to maybe be calmer but symptoms/signs are still there)” (therapy notes)"