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[–] 62 points 7 months ago

When it's hot enough, the blades start melting. As metal slowly drops, they get lighter on the inner edge (thinner part, melts faster), and start rotating because they're not balanced anymore.

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  • [–] 52 points 7 months ago (9 children)

    It aligns itself with the magnetic field of metal of the stove and starts a transduction of capicitive resonation that interferes with the polaritive vibrations of the planetary magnetic field.

    This in turn creates a localized pulse of geomagnetic interference that the fan blades are sensitive to, and their shape works to create a single direction rotation that both pushes air and traps the interference and creates a perpetual motion at the same time.

    Brilliant engineering, honestly.

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  • [–] 12 points 7 months ago (6 children)

    Are you the inventor of the Retro Encabulator?

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  • [–] 6 points 7 months ago (4 children)

    I want to know how they solve the issue with side fumbling?

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  • [–] 33 points 7 months ago (6 children)

    It doesn't work. It's an optical illusion, but is so compelling that yiu hallucinate feeling the air move.

    This was first used on gas stoves, which is where the term gaslighting came from.

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  • [–] 5 points 7 months ago (3 children)

    Ummmm pretty sure none of that happened

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  • [–] 28 points 7 months ago* (3 children)

    If someone posted how it actually works, it would probably get upvoted, because the real explanation is more exotic than what most people think.

    The fan is connected to a small electric engine, powered by an electronic device in between the top and bottom parts. This device runs on fediverse upvotes.

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    [–] 17 points 7 months ago

    There's obviously a group of very small people trapped inside a hamster wheel style contraption. As the fan structure heats up, the floor of the wheel grows uncomfortably hot, and forces the little people to continuously run to avoid getting burned (continually cycling the cooler top of the wheel down to the bottom). This in turn turns the fan blades.

    I am honestly appalled that you would buy such a thing; it's cruel.

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  • [–] 15 points 7 months ago (1 child)

    There is a tiny man inside the drum behind the fan and as it heats up, he must walk forward like on a hamster wheel to not burn his bare feet. The man walks inexorably forward, blind and delirious from exhaustion to avoid the agony of being roasted alive.

    You're a sick fuck for buying this thing OP.

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  • [–] 14 points 7 months ago (1 child)

    There are little gnomes inside and when it gets hot they start hopping. That hopping powers the fan.

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  • [–] 12 points 7 months ago

    It gets too hot and needs to fan itself off before it faints.

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  • [–] 12 points 7 months ago (1 child)

    the heat actually vibrates the blades of the fans at a special frequency that allows it to communicate with the undead.

    using a special set of mircoscopic engravings on the back of every odd numbered blade, it communicates with the vengeful spirits and asks for a man named 'josh'.

    once the fan hits 100°c, and josh is successfully conjured, he utilizes his insanely strong arms to push the fan in a counter-clockwise direction.

    upon the cooling of the fan, josh relieved of his duties, and sent to the break room. another spirit is premoted to a 'josh' to take his place.

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    [–] 11 points 7 months ago

    Boiling water.

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  • [–] 10 points 7 months ago

    Thoughts & Prayers ^TM^

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  • [–] 9 points 7 months ago

    The fan has a small gnome creature permanently jailed for his crimes between the bottom foot and top fan. When you heat the bottom he bounces around Mario 64 style and rotates a small crank attached via string. This motion generates enough energy to spin the fan at like 3 rpm. The gnome cannot be released under any circumstances.

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  • [–] 8 points 7 months ago

    Quite simply, as it says, when things get heated, such as during a fight with your spouse, the fan will start trying to escape which causes it to spin.

    This also works if you start yelling at it yourself, although you need to be genuine. It can detect if you're lying, so get angry!

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  • [–] 8 points 7 months ago

    The 5G sends theta control waves to humanoid brains and the closest human to the fan reflects some of those control waves onto the collecting fins on the body of the fan, thereby resonating and making the fan blades spin.

    Obviously.

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  • [–] 8 points 7 months ago

    You rig it to a boiling pot of water and the fan creates electricity from the boiling water to power the fan

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  • [–] 8 points 7 months ago

    It detects when you are in heat, and turns on.

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  • [–] 8 points 7 months ago (2 children)

    The earth is spinning like really quickly all the time and we just don't notice it. Heat if a form of vibration, and so when heat is applied to the bottom of the fan the atoms there move more. A gyroscope resists tilting forces because it is spinning, and the earth is spinning, but the vibration of the fan decouples it from this effect. The blades are able to move freely and the earth moves around them, pushing air through the blades.

    tldr: It's not spinning, you are spinning

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    [–] 6 points 7 months ago

    Ghost blowing on it like a pinwheel.

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  • [–] 6 points 7 months ago

    Wind turbine for Jesus farts.

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  • [–] 5 points 7 months ago (8 children)

    Why is the gauge missing rpm?

    And when will this tech evolve for human body heat?
    (I want to fly using by buttplug!)

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  • [–] 3 points 7 months ago (2 children)

    They already tried that, but the power exchange of heat to motion dangerously interacts with conceptual hotness and you just had kinky human icicles falling from the sky.

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    [–] 5 points 7 months ago

    When air is warm, it rises. As the air attaches to the blades, the air is tricked into accepting a new definition of "up" which rotates with the blades, endlessly propelling them.

    As that air cools, warmer air is drawn in and entrapped, continuing the cycle.

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  • [–] 5 points 7 months ago

    HEAT not included

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  • [–] 4 points 7 months ago

    This object is stationary. It's base is full of LSD, Magic Mushroom and a choice, proprietary cocktail.

    Eat the drugs and you spin, while the fan just watches you and silently approves.

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  • [–] 4 points 7 months ago

    It gets hot, then it blows you- what else is there to know?

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  • [–] 4 points 7 months ago
    [–] 4 points 7 months ago

    Steam powered.

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  • [–] 3 points 7 months ago (1 child)

    It's heat powered. Obviously.

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    [–] 3 points 7 months ago (1 child)

    It converts the vibrations from me shagging your mom in the kitchen.

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  • [–] 3 points 7 months ago (1 child)

    Heat power like the box says, duh!

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    [–] 3 points 7 months ago

    There's a little guy in the hub and as it gets hotter he begins running trying to escape which creates rotational energy to spin the blade

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  • [–] 3 points 7 months ago

    Straight up magic

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