I mean, it says on the package.

You need heat, so fly to the nearest sun and install it on the hottest part. Just position carefully so you don't cause the sun to spin slower and cause a cooldown effect as that'll cause it to stop working!

There is a tiny man inside the drum behind the fan and as it heats up, he must walk forward like on a hamster wheel to not burn his bare feet. The man walks inexorably forward, blind and delirious from exhaustion to avoid the agony of being roasted alive.

You're a sick fuck for buying this thing OP.

Connects to Tesla's wireless electricity tower ofc

I too thought about mine. It stopped working one day. I found a USBC port on the back, just charged it up. Now it works

If someone posted how it actually works, it would probably get upvoted, because the real explanation is more exotic than what most people think.

The fan is connected to a small electric engine, powered by an electronic device in between the top and bottom parts. This device runs on fediverse upvotes.

Boiling water.

HEAT not included

It gets too hot and needs to fan itself off before it faints.

Heat move up. Heat hit blade of fan. Heat turn blade.

The earth is spinning like really quickly all the time and we just don't notice it. Heat if a form of vibration, and so when heat is applied to the bottom of the fan the atoms there move more. A gyroscope resists tilting forces because it is spinning, and the earth is spinning, but the vibration of the fan decouples it from this effect. The blades are able to move freely and the earth moves around them, pushing air through the blades.

tldr: It's not spinning, you are spinning

the heat actually vibrates the blades of the fans at a special frequency that allows it to communicate with the undead.

using a special set of mircoscopic engravings on the back of every odd numbered blade, it communicates with the vengeful spirits and asks for a man named 'josh'.

once the fan hits 100°c, and josh is successfully conjured, he utilizes his insanely strong arms to push the fan in a counter-clockwise direction.

upon the cooling of the fan, josh relieved of his duties, and sent to the break room. another spirit is premoted to a 'josh' to take his place.

The fan draws body heat towards the stove so, in the long run, you use less firewood.

The fan has a small gnome creature permanently jailed for his crimes between the bottom foot and top fan. When you heat the bottom he bounces around Mario 64 style and rotates a small crank attached via string. This motion generates enough energy to spin the fan at like 3 rpm. The gnome cannot be released under any circumstances.

It detects when you are in heat, and turns on.

When it's hot enough, the blades start melting. As metal slowly drops, they get lighter on the inner edge (thinner part, melts faster), and start rotating because they're not balanced anymore.

It aligns itself with the magnetic field of metal of the stove and starts a transduction of capicitive resonation that interferes with the polaritive vibrations of the planetary magnetic field.

This in turn creates a localized pulse of geomagnetic interference that the fan blades are sensitive to, and their shape works to create a single direction rotation that both pushes air and traps the interference and creates a perpetual motion at the same time.

Brilliant engineering, honestly.

It's actually pretty simple and old school tech. INside of the pole holding the fans it has a pattern that when getting hot expands. Together with gravity in now starts spinning and with every spin it starts going faster.

It doesn't work. It's an optical illusion, but is so compelling that yiu hallucinate feeling the air move.

This was first used on gas stoves, which is where the term gaslighting came from.

Ghost blowing on it like a pinwheel.

There are little gnomes inside and when it gets hot they start hopping. That hopping powers the fan.

I like the idea of watching Robert de Niro and Al Pacino in this absolute classic while enjoying a stream of fresh air, and 171 minutes of autonomy is pretty nice. But I don't see where the DVD should be inserted.

It gets hot, then it blows you- what else is there to know?

These don't really blow a lot of wind.

The 5G sends theta control waves to humanoid brains and the closest human to the fan reflects some of those control waves onto the collecting fins on the body of the fan, thereby resonating and making the fan blades spin.

Obviously.

Why is the gauge missing rpm?

And when will this tech evolve for human body heat?
(I want to fly using by buttplug!)

There's obviously a group of very small people trapped inside a hamster wheel style contraption. As the fan structure heats up, the floor of the wheel grows uncomfortably hot, and forces the little people to continuously run to avoid getting burned (continually cycling the cooler top of the wheel down to the bottom). This in turn turns the fan blades.

I am honestly appalled that you would buy such a thing; it's cruel.

Wind turbine for Jesus farts.

Straight up magic

Quite simply, as it says, when things get heated, such as during a fight with your spouse, the fan will start trying to escape which causes it to spin.

This also works if you start yelling at it yourself, although you need to be genuine. It can detect if you're lying, so get angry!

You rig it to a boiling pot of water and the fan creates electricity from the boiling water to power the fan

Thoughts & Prayers ^TM^