325
I take things literally!!! (piefed.cdn.blahaj.zone)
submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[-] [email protected] 44 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Being German alone makes you hate that English question.

Do you want to hear it or not?!

Don't be surprised to get an answer!

[-] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago

This is how I feel. If you ask, I will tell you. If you don't want to know, why did you ask?

[-] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

Apparently I have the soul of a German.

[-] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Jetzt bist du einer von uns! 🤗

[-] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago
[-] [email protected] 0 points 1 month ago

Well you lot are just as bad. What's with Guten Tag? Good Day? Is it still the 1800s in Germany? We stopped using archaic language centuries ago.

[-] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

I never considered guten Tag a question. It is more of a wish. Or do you consider good morning a question too?

(and regarding archaic... 200 years are nothing in human development 😁)

[-] [email protected] 23 points 1 month ago

I'm at work in retail so my answer is E: skip the question entirely and ask what they'd like.

Normally works, except the one time I got called a cunt. One in 3 years is good odds though.

[-] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

I played a merchant NPC for like five years, most people just treated me that way anyway, it was fine

[-] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago

Always C. The asker isn't really asking a question. Their whole sentence actually is equivalent to them saying "hi".

[-] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Then just say fuckin „hi“. Wtf do you need this stupid dancing around for? How is it considered normal to ask an ~~ingenious~~ ingenuine question and answer with a lie? How am I the weird one in this scenario?

[-] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

I studied anthropology and the intricate rituals of the various neurotypicals for this very reason. The answer depends on what your culture determines to be weird, because usually we're considered differently weird different places.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

A part of me dies when I say the lie

[-] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

It's just a magic constant embedded in the standard conversational header, referencing an obsolete firmware version, but most users never update the client package so you have to ack it or you get undefined behavior.

[-] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Because that's just how neurotypical brains work.

Trying to figure out a why for it will just drive you crazy, because it's not something anyone knows for sure.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

I think it's more of a cultural thing, you grow up hearing that exchange and a neurotypical brain will just file it under "short, common greetings".

People don't even think about the meaning of the words, they just grab something from the "common greeting replies" drawer without even looking.

It's the amount of possible variations after that that make it a huge mess.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

People don’t even think about the meaning of the words, they just grab something from the “common greeting replies” drawer without even looking.

This is how you wind up with the 'Waiter: Enjoy your food! Me: Thanks, you too!' situation

[-] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Decades of conditioning is probably the most relevant piece of the answer.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I did ask, do care :(

[-] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago

“Good thanks, you?”

Or, “been better, so hot today”.

you’re suppose to either say good or say bad with a witty (small talk) reason, that’s it.

[-] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago

I continue to do A. Helps me find other neurodivergent peeps and makes others uncomfortable. Sorts people out for me 🙂

[-] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

I can't help but to do A.

I'm in my late 30s, and only realized a couple years ago that option A wasn't always the right answer.

[-] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

There are 10,000 true things you could say. But you're choosing the in-your-face truth to share. And that's OK maybe, but don't let your choice turn you into a jerk.

[-] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

Might be cultural, but I never get bad reactions to A. Nobody wants your life story, but if you're brief, chances are nobody will bat an eye. e.g. 'tired', 'stressed'.

[-] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

It does work, but it's harder to pull off because you need to give a short, relatable reason along with a negative (if not immediately obviously).

If you reply that you're stressed but you leave it at that, the other person won't know if they should ask you about it or not. If they do, they might be getting into a much harder, longer conversation than they were expecting to.
But if they don't ask, then they will feel like they're being rude, because you're supposed to help out other people if they're not well, so either way it probably won't be a pleasant experience for them.

If you offer something like "stressed, finals are coming up", then they can keep the conversation going by asking you about it, or they can just move on by wishing you luck or something to that effect and move on.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Yep 100%. Culturally where I'm at small talk is seen as having the purpose of starting an actual conversation, so 'stressed, finals are coming up' is ideal. Brief, not too deep, and invitation for conversation. But also said in a way so that's it's not rude for them to just say 'sorry, that sucks' isn't rude.

[-] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

A every time. They've volunteered to hear my complaints.

[-] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

I see, I've done it all wrong. I always tried C and sometimes A. Next time, I will do B and talk obnoxiously about something I like. Repeat twice and they hopefully never ask me again.

[-] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

how can you tell which are a , b , c , d? the choice letters all look like Kirby, vomit, etc 🤣

[-] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago
[-] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

The best answer I've heard. It is both a "you don't care about the answer, so I'll just give you a canned response" answer and a direct commentary about the social ritual.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

you always get the "fine, you?" out of the way. it's just part of the script. But people think I am Weirdly Caring if it's like someone who isn't actually expecting me to ask how they're doing back, like my therapist or something. I don't think it's a bad perception to cultivate, though

[-] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

The doctor asked me this at my last visit. Before I could stop myself, I responded "You tell me".

[-] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Thinking...

Thinking...

Thinking...

"Tired. How about you?"

[-] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

A while back, once I realized it's a greeting not a question, I started answering with "so far so good". It's just as banal as "fine thanks" but it's non standard and makes people laugh. To be clear, I didn't intend it to be funny. Idk why people laugh, but I guess it's because it breaks the script in a gentle way. I honestly started saying it as a compromise between "fine thanks" and a genuine answer.

If I'm screwing with people I'll say "badly but I'm getting used to it".

[-] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Exactly. So many people just don't understand it. Nobody actually wants to know how your day's going, it's just a fancy "hello". So I reply "hello" and have a little smile to myself while their face shows they're processing the non-sequitur.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

I've come to prefer the response "Good enough."

[-] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago
[-] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

I almost always forget to reciprocate in person lol

Them: "How are you"

Me: "Good"

Them: "..."

Me: "..."

[-] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

In order C, A, B and D. Though I don't think this is autism. This is a mix of social anxiety with a dash of lack of social skills

[-] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

C for me because if I want you to know how my day is going, I'll let you know.

[-] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

C because they apparently dont care how my day is and are just asking because that's a thing people do for some reason.

Ask me a lie of a question, get a lie for an answer.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Protip: in small talk/office chitchat C is often functionally D.

[-] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Why does talking about a special interest have to be a negative/panic response? I do this all the time and people seem interested. Or they suddenly have to go haha. Either way, you asked! Though these days, talking about machine learning is more socially acceptable than it used to be thanks to ChatGPT! A lot of opportunities to correct misinformation too, though people hate being wrong, so that needs some care...

Anyway, yeah, I take that as an invitation!

[-] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Agreed. Also, A and C assume things are bad which is a lame assumption. Sometimes things are going good specifically because of a special interest.

[-] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

I always go for D asap which ends up being C. I don't want to have a superficial conversation with someone I may never see again. For some reason I am more commonly asked "Any plans for the weekend?" and I always just say "nope" which usually ends the conversation there. One time someone hit me with a "Any plans for the holiday?" which really threw me off because I didn't have a canned response and I said "I'm picnicking" and I just felt so awkward and embarrassed that I froze and felt like covering my face.

[-] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

I ignore the question and ask what they really want

[-] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

My day moves endlessly forward through time, and there is nothing I can do to change its direction.

this post was submitted on 05 Jul 2025
325 points (95.5% liked)

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