221
submitted 1 day ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
top 15 comments
sorted by: hot top new old
[-] [email protected] 10 points 1 day ago

You lost me at "retirement".

[-] [email protected] 8 points 1 day ago

Ah yes, a 35 year old movie reference.

[-] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

Prefect for our young readers.

[-] [email protected] 10 points 1 day ago

Ah yes the Boom Boom Boomer Plan

[-] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago

Man, I wish Richard would fall for me!

[-] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

Can I get my gerbil back?

[-] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago

My retirement plan is to work until it hurts too much to work anymore, use whatever I've managed to save up to buy as much illegal drugs as I can get my hands on, enjoy literal bliss for however long [money ÷ cost of drugs] gets me.

Then, either 1) overdose and die, 2) go skydiving or something and just don't pull the parachute line, or 3) murder as many neonazis as I can until one of them kills me first. Gonna depend on the mood at the time.

[-] [email protected] 0 points 1 day ago

Richard Gere?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Gere

Richard Tiffany Gere (/ɡɪər/ GEER;[1][2] born August 31, 1949) is an American actor. He began appearing in films in the 1970s, playing a supporting role in Looking for Mr. Goodbar (1977) and a starring role in Days of Heaven (1978). Gere came to prominence with his role in the film American Gigolo (1980), which established him as a leading man and a sex symbol.

Ah.

[-] [email protected] 18 points 1 day ago

OP is referencing Pretty Woman (1990), starring Richard Gere and Julia Roberts.

You damn kids, don't know Richard Gere, get off my lawn, etc.

[-] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Millenial version of this is basically Nathan Fillion.

You might be able to kick me off your lawn (if you don't go underwater on your mortgage!)...

... but you can't take the sky from me.

[-] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago

I think I watched part of Pretty Woman at one point, lost interest, never finished it. Wouldn't have known the names of anyone in it, though.

[-] [email protected] -2 points 1 day ago

Indecent proposal, more likely.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago

Richard Gere isn't in that. But he was in Pretty Woman, about a guy who hires a prostitute and falls in love with her.

[-] [email protected] 0 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Oh right, he isn't. My bad. It would have been a better fit though.

[-] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago

Richard Gere is a fuckin baller. He's banned from China because of his support for Tibet lol

this post was submitted on 02 Jul 2025
221 points (99.1% liked)

The Onion

6375 readers
368 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS