545
bork bork bork (mander.xyz)
submitted 3 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
all 31 comments
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[-] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago

Where is the rest of the paper? I need the rest

[-] [email protected] 23 points 2 days ago
[-] [email protected] 24 points 2 days ago

Wait, the dog doesn't like Matt? That's a huge red flag, Emily. Dogs know. Take it seriously.

[-] [email protected] 13 points 2 days ago

Dog's gonna have to write another abstract on why matt should not be allowed to move in.

[-] [email protected] 27 points 2 days ago

Here's the full read

Just look at that data....

Now if only there was a way to negate the need for the bark defense... 😓

[-] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago

Hard to argue with the threat matrix decision chart in there. Dog did sound research.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

Nice, thanks!!

[-] [email protected] 57 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

LOL, that was my Akita when grandma (mom) took him. Long story, couldn't keep him any longer. "Shalafi, I am NOT going to take that dog!" Well, she did. 130lbs. of black bear wandering around the house.

After hip surgery: "Oh Shalafi! He's just too big! He might knock me down!" Guess who got knocked down when I came home to visit. Beast knocked me flat while not laying so much as a whisker on her walker. Didn't so much as brush her walker with that monster tail. In a 8'x 8' entryway. That was something to witness. From the ground.

"Oh he just barks and barks when strange men come around the house! I don't know what to do with him!" Yeah, bet you hate having a dog with the lungs of a dragon going off at "strange men about the house". 🙄 Yoshi sounded like some Resident Evil shit going down on the other side of the door.

He did stress her out by plopping down on the freezing concrete patio and refusing to come in, even covered in snow. "Mom, they were raised in northern Japan to hunt bears. He's LOVING this!" LOL, did not compute for her.

And being an Akita, he was perfectly patient and loving with little ones. Slammed a bottle of gin and cried forever the night mom told me he was gone. Gods I got funny stories about that animal.

[-] [email protected] 15 points 2 days ago

I’m pouring one out for all the good ones we’ve lost along the way.

[-] [email protected] 20 points 2 days ago

Jokes aside, one of the best deterrents to break-ins is a dangerous-seeming dog.

[-] [email protected] 11 points 2 days ago

I live in a kind of steal-y neighborhood, and not that I got a big neurotic dog for this reason, but I haven't had anything taken since Ronda and I teamed up.

[-] [email protected] 40 points 2 days ago

Bad news: this article was retracted for fraud after the journal discovered the author wasn't actually a dog.

[-] [email protected] 23 points 2 days ago

It was written with the help of BarkGPT

[-] [email protected] 12 points 2 days ago
[-] [email protected] 10 points 2 days ago

Bark Great Pitbull Terrier

[-] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

He should've published it over the internet.

[-] [email protected] 26 points 2 days ago

Peer reviewed by my neighbour's dog. She'd probably add "even if you see no threat, and even if you don't give a fuck about humans, it's better to bark anyway just to be safe". Except in posh paper speech.

[-] [email protected] 12 points 2 days ago

99.999 recurring % lol

[-] [email protected] 8 points 2 days ago

100% effective dragon and vampire repellant too.

[-] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago
[-] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago

Nope. Too many people making skynet. The dogs and goggles will do nothing.

[-] [email protected] 11 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Time to go home, Matt U ಠ ಠU

[-] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago
[-] [email protected] 9 points 2 days ago

not enough about barking!

[-] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago

Wheely fabric box? She was going to do laundry for 2 hours and he thought it was 2 weeks? Or is it something else?

[-] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago

A suitcase?

[-] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

Quality Post

[-] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago

Chewey Words not Keywords

this post was submitted on 29 Jun 2025
545 points (98.4% liked)

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