164
submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
top 26 comments
sorted by: hot top new old
[-] [email protected] 49 points 1 month ago

I got ecoli from kale once. Fuck me for eating healthy right?

Anyway imagine feeling like you have a kind of flu that makes you projectile vomit out of your ass. Only time I ever shit my pants. Really teaches you the meaning of "never gamble a fart".

[-] [email protected] 31 points 1 month ago

Anyway imagine feeling like you have a kind of flu that makes you projectile vomit out of your ass.

[-] [email protected] 28 points 1 month ago

That's what we get for having farms downstream from livestock. Now that we have fewer EPA regulations you'd best start scrubbing your veggies real well before eating (if you're American).

[-] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

One should do this anyway. But god speed America.

[-] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

God is not going to help anyone, better people wake up instead of waiting for it.

[-] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago

Unhealthy salad? Ha! Pull the other one!

Seriously though, the amount of greens that I've seen recalled due to e. coli is crazy.

[-] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago

weightloss salad, secret incgredient, e.coli toxins.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

i had norovirus once, that was extremely unpleasant.

[-] [email protected] 25 points 1 month ago
[-] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

sorry if I missed it what did they do lol?

[-] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Nothing, just me making a bad pun. Arse as in butt.

[-] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

Guilty ass charged

[-] [email protected] 21 points 1 month ago

New fear unlocked

[-] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago

Oh fuck, that can actually happen? 😨

[-] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago

explosive diarrhea can happen, also things like Intussusception when your intestines folds onto each other, like sleeve of a sweather(it can happen if you alot of parasites or a tumor). or your intestines gets so blocked you will be vomiting your own waste.

[-] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

it can happen if you alot of parasites or a tumor

There seems to be a word missing there and I usually don't criticize for that kind of mistake, but in this case it seems REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT.

[-] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

the death metal bands have been trying to warn us for so long, just no one can understand what they're saying

[-] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

Beth makes the best stories.

[-] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

OMG, that opening paragraph! 🤣

[-] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

It is a thing of beauty!

[-] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Yikes that’s brutal. I got a gnarly worm from street meat in Beijing once and made me more cautious

[-] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

wild ass condition. i wasnt aware there was an opposite to explosive diarrhea thats objectively worse

[-] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

another similar thing can happen, where your intestines gettin blocked, and you vomit out your own poop.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

I mean, this is probably my eventual fate. I have the mantra of “I’ll try anything twice”. It’s led me to some questionable, but so far outrageously fun, adventures in local cuisine.

this post was submitted on 28 Jun 2025
164 points (97.7% liked)

Not The Onion

17464 readers
1169 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS