264
submitted 1 day ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
top 23 comments
sorted by: hot top new old
[-] [email protected] 1 points 9 hours ago

But cult so kissing cousins? Right?

[-] [email protected] 3 points 9 hours ago

That was the case pre cult too

[-] [email protected] 3 points 13 hours ago

Can I be that guy from down the street that seems cool but no one talks to him or knows his name?

[-] [email protected] 8 points 23 hours ago

Niko, cousin! Let's go bowling!

[-] [email protected] 11 points 1 day ago

Last sentence is a red flag

[-] [email protected] 9 points 1 day ago

Can we negotiate? How does 70% sound?

[-] [email protected] 1 points 7 hours ago

The Old Ones will brook no compromise with these infantile new-age deities.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 23 hours ago

“God” refers to the Satanic Demon summoned by a blood ritual including animal sacrifice. The family worships him.

[-] [email protected] 10 points 1 day ago
[-] [email protected] 13 points 1 day ago

I'm sorry, applications for uncles closed last week. You may apply for sister next week.

[-] [email protected] 8 points 1 day ago

Bad offer you have no honor

[-] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago

How dare you accuse me of lack of honor

Only one way to settle this....

[-] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago
[-] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago

THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MY PUNCHLINE.

NOW WHO HAS NO HONOR

[-] [email protected] 1 points 18 hours ago

What about great-uncle?

[-] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago
[-] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I already dibbed on grandma all night long

[-] [email protected] 21 points 1 day ago

dibs on black sheep niece you never see or talk about except in hushed tones to whisper that she might be worshiping satan (hint, i am not worshiping satan, i am cooking pasta)

[-] [email protected] 9 points 1 day ago

But WE are worshipping Satan.

[-] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Ill fight you for that role. Ill fight you, and ruin thanksgiving.

And post links to my deviantart page on facebook events for winter solstice.

[-] [email protected] 1 points 13 hours ago

It's more fun for me, a big hairy middle aged balding guy, to be the teenage niece though

[-] [email protected] 1 points 13 hours ago

Shit, you're right. But i was thrown out for being queer as a teen, so never really got to be the teen niece. I've got the whole tragic fucked up thing going, and my dumpster fire burns with the heat of a million dying stars.

So if we're going rule of funny, it's you. Rule of drama, it's me.

[-] [email protected] 1 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago)

this is true. we can have two nieces. i say we don't tell anyone and wear the same clothes, and never be in the same room at the same time.

this post was submitted on 18 Jun 2025
264 points (97.8% liked)

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