572
submitted 3 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[-] [email protected] 24 points 2 days ago

I underwent a total dickectomy

[-] [email protected] 15 points 2 days ago

Technical term is a loppitoffamy

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[-] [email protected] 14 points 2 days ago

If that was voluntary, great job!

[-] [email protected] 14 points 2 days ago

It was, totally intentional lol

[-] [email protected] 24 points 2 days ago

I was lucky to have survived having gone my first 5 years of life with a heart valve that was back bleeding.

I also cannot tell when I'm having a ear infection unless liquid comes oozing out. I have had some many in my life that they just don't hurt at all.

[-] [email protected] 14 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

My ideal partner would have exactly identical personality to me.

In highschool I would regularly imagine a "perfect crush" during bus rides. In my last year I had that "damn I was an edgy asshole during middle and highschool" moment and I wanted to change.

So since my friend group is also jerks like me I just started imitating that imaginary person until "fake it til you make it" kicked in.

Everything from my sense of humour to taste in music changed over time. I even became a slightly bit more feminine when I used to be hardcore Matt Walsh fan until this point.

I also got hobbies I just thought looked attractive like Archery. I got into computers because this.

[-] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago

I read somewhere ages ago that you should become the person you want to be with the most, which I think is great advice. And less about searching for someone else who is that. Sounds like this is what you did.

[-] [email protected] 28 points 3 days ago

I'm ready to die, honestly. Not that I want to do it, it's just that I feel it's time since the pandemic.

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[-] [email protected] 19 points 2 days ago

In my school there was a kid who consistently made plans to SA other students and regularly bragged about it. The school administration not only knew but actively went out of their way to defend him.

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[-] [email protected] 24 points 2 days ago

I ate my twin in the womb.

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[-] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago

OP, the pic said an unsettling fact about you, not your neighbor. You need to follow it up with something like, "While he did it, I held my hand over his so he could teach me his techniques." If true, that it would make it an unsettling fact about you. If you don't have anything, though, it happens. I'm not coming up with much at the moment either. And just saying something like "I poop a lot" would do this thread an injustice.

[-] [email protected] 24 points 3 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

I dont always look both ways before crossing the street at a cross walk...

Edit: Ya'll it was a joke. Thank you for the concern!

[-] [email protected] 31 points 3 days ago

I look both ways before crossing a one-way street.

I'm not trying to be taken out by society's lowest common denominator.

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[-] [email protected] 15 points 2 days ago

almost blew myself up for good after a pistol flare exploded half a meter from my face.
went to the ER with superficial burns on my left hand and hearing damage that still rears its ugly head out to this day.
each time i think about that moment i realise that if i had been in any other position when that flare blew up i probably wouldn't be here today

[-] [email protected] 19 points 2 days ago

I had my mid-life crisis in my early 20's because the average lifespan in my demographic is like 52 years.

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[-] [email protected] 11 points 2 days ago

I once walked around for two days with a piece of someone else's bone stuck in my thumb.

[-] [email protected] 9 points 2 days ago

You can't just drop that with no details!

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[-] [email protected] 15 points 2 days ago

when encountering new people i am open and friendly, but mask up as they start saying things that let me know they are not safe people. at some point they become unsettled and go away.

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this post was submitted on 16 Jun 2025
572 points (98.5% liked)

Microblog Memes

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