"It's certainly a nice looking piece of jewelry"

"It's not my fault you're stupid"

laughs gently and sighs

"This is a six ounce cup of bath water from a YouTube influencer..."

If only you had learned to tell time.

"So, you're both rich and stupid"

Holds up wrist sporting a Casio F-91W "Al-Qaida"

Big deal... This watch also costs more than my car.

Yeah, but can your watch drive you to the store ?

“Common sense is a flower that does not grow in everyone’s garden”

"I wouldn't want to paint a target on my back like that. Did you hear about Chesterwick's son getting kidnapped while backpacking in Burma?"

"Didn't ask"

“Your watch cost more than £100?”

get really really enthusiastically interested in the watch. ask for details seem super impressed. massage that wealthy ego to the point of basically a blow job. but then just like keep going. see how long you can keep the topic on that one specific watch. don't ever let him talk about anything that the watch means or about the dynamic he tried to establish.

optionally, loose interest and leave without ever having let anything be said that wasn't about the watch. this is how you weaponize autism against egotists.

"You should have saved up a bit more and bought something less gaudy"

"I don't get my happiness from material worth."

I think the really wealthy old-money people would never say such a thing. Because such a thing just wouldn't occur to them. And if someone said that to them, they'd just kind of smile and nod the same way they would to a toddler. Maybe say "Ah, yes, very good." So that's probably the best response.

But if I were writing a screenplay and had to come up with a one-liner I'd probably go with, "Just goes to show you can't buy class."

Man, it is a shame you can't buy class because you could use some.

“What kinda mileage does it get?”

“Cool, I went to the bar with my friends last night. What did you do?”

“Can you get me some more water?”

Damn thats a cheap watch, is it Chinese too?

I'd just start laughing and point at them.

"Cool story bro. Needs more dragons."

good, maybe you can sell it to buy some human decency then

"mine was 5 bucks at goodwill, sounds like you got scammed, sorry"

"that's cute!"

I don't have a car

I don't care to respond

I don't mind sounding poor.

Wealth beyond what is good for you is no better than theft I'd say. Buying expensive watches while little children grow up in poverty is nothing to be proud of. If anyone should feel shame it should be that guy. Don't be humiliated by such shameless assholes. And don't try to counter attack, It won't work, they don't share your values, they feel no shame for the things that they do. Instead let's organize and fight them where it hurts. Taxes, taxes, taxes.

Grabs machete
Thanks for showing me where to find it. /j

"and yet your dad still don't love you."

That's quiet an expensive way to look cheap

"Does it keep better time than my 15 dollar digital Casio? Is it sturdier? Will it last longer? Is it more comfortable? No? So you spent a ridiculous amount of money to buy a less functional watch made out of precious essential materials just to try to impress people like me?"

Honestly though, if you want to piss watch people off, just say "Oh, it looks just like a regular watch, thanks for pointing it out".

"that's so sad"

But realistically probably nothing, someone like that isn't going to care enough about what you think to be affected by what you say.

I have friends.

And I have the same watch, but paid $25 for it on a market in Cambodia.

So you are fiscally irresponsible and you are proud of it? Good to know…

Woow, what does it do?

• It tells time.

Nothing else? So does my car.

“I don’t mean to victim blame, but I try not to look like I’m worth mugging.”

"Yes, your fancy jewelry is very pretty. Good job."

Edit: after I stopped laughing, of course.

I wouldn't even hide that watch up my ass.

A new London bus costs around £300k, so whilst is plausible that the watch cost more than my 'car', it's a pretty stupid way of spending that amount of money...