390
Got some more folks??
(lemmy.dbzer0.com)
Q: How do you get a nun pregnant?
A: You fuck her!
#unclejokes
Ya know with the right date, it can still be a pretty funny joke. I've had dates that would have loved that one.
If you can pull off dumb jokes this one is an easy one to get them to laugh/eyeroll
Edit. So I called my gf and used it:
Me: Hey, i just have a question.
What's bigger than a tuna?
Her: i... Don't know. What?
Me: A threena!
Long pause.
Her: that was... that was very nice. Very very nice. I don't know what to do now because of how nice that was ...
Her: Are you done?
Me: Yeah, that's all I got.
Success!
Sounds like Michael talking to Jane (The Office)
What's the difference between a grandfather clock and a grandmother clock?
The ding dongs
What's brown and sticky?
A stick
What's brown and rhymes with snoop?
Dr. Dre.
What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
That's cute. OP thinks they're the one who is fucked here lol
Always keep a spare strap on in my car
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Astyanax Mexicanus
*Astyanax Mexcanus
Oh gosh darn, they're focked!
I think it says, f•cked. There is a book on it.
That's my favorite messenger
this post was submitted on 30 May 2025
390 points (98.0% liked)
Lemmy Shitpost
32246 readers
3568 users here now
Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.
Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!
Rules:
1. Be Respectful
Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.
Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.
...
2. No Illegal Content
Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.
That means:
-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals
-No CSA content or Revenge Porn
-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)
...
3. No Spam
Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.
-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.
-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.
-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers
-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.
...
4. No Porn/Explicit
Content
-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.
-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.
...
5. No Enciting Harassment,
Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts
-Do not Brigade other Communities
-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.
-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.
-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.
...
6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.
...
If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.
Also check out:
Partnered Communities:
1.Memes
10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)
Reach out to
All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS