Sometimes it's both, where you mask to seem like the first, while being the second.
this post was submitted on 13 May 2025
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Fuck
Fuck it, I don't seem to have AD(H)D. That's why I've spent the better part of the day recharging so I could pretend to be social in the evening while on vacation with the in-laws and a 2-year old niece. I can't fucking filter her screams, the noise of having 7 adults around me and I'm so fucking glad of not having kids myself.
Huh. I guess I'm the fuckit type. I got no patience for pretending to not be me. Not anymore.
Sometimes I'm too tired to unmask.
~~ Sometimes I’m too tired to unmask.~~
Sometimes I’m too tired to mask.
This was posted WITHOUT the dumb fucking censoring earlier today...
I'm one of the "fuck it lmao" types and I wouldn't change it for anything. Life is suffering, but I'm also very easily amused and thrive in chaos.
fuck.
we can just say cuss words.
fuck
fuck
fucking thank you.
You're so fucking welcome
Fuck me, this is relieving.
~~fuck~~
After years and years of hard work and therapy, I'm now a hilarious mix of the two.
You might ask, "How is your sink so empty and your kitchen so clean, but your clean laundry is piled so high that this is probably your entire wardrobe here on the floor next to the dryer?"
Well, I would answer, "How did you get in my house and would you like something to eat?"
I climbed through the window, because I thought I saw a kitty, but turns out is just a pillow. and yes
If you check under the blanket next to the pillow, there is a sleeping kitty. He is greedy for pets and will meow at you.
This is a trap. If you start petting him, you're never allowed to stop.
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FUCK
You can say fuck on the Internet!
For fucks sake.
Cussing is a goddamn dirty habit and you should cut that fucking shit out.
no u cant the lemmy cuss brigade will arrest u, my uncle said so and he works at nintendo
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Filtering swear words is a dark path the masses are willfully following. It's a subtle way to see if they can use AI to force us to change how we speak to align with a worldview. People need to fucking resist it.
Interesting take. Care to elaborate what role AI plays in this context? Recognizing swear words in image files, I guess?
Also I'm willfully using more swear words on Lemmy if it means they won't farm my comments for training their fucking piss shit AI without my goddamn consent. Horsefuckers!
It's using AI to filter or reduce interactions with words puritans and Chinese censors find "offensive" but to the other responses point, it goes deeper. They train the AI not to cuss, not to be able to discuss sex at all, and to avoid topics that the developers' companies or countries don't like. But we're never shown what they push for or are guarded from by the companies releasing them, so the shift is subtle.
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There's also the type that constantly has extra (possibly clarifying) thoughts in the middle of their typed sentences. So, they use parentheses to add those clarifications because having to retype the sentence would derail their train of thought and they'd then completely fail to convey anything.
So, so much. Then realizing you typed two paragraphs replying to a text. Then spend 30 minutes on full re-edits until your self doubt makes you eventually delete it all and simply respond “ok” where normal people only take 10 seconds to type that and yet you get annoyed by their lack of communication. And thus the self hatred spiral continues, as ever.
I absolutely detest that kind (the kind who writes a giant parenthetical in the middle if their sentence before one or two words at the end. Just put the fucking parenthetical after the sentence! jfc) of person.
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I had to set up a project management software to manage my housework. That's normal, and not a coping mechanism.
Goddamnit, another thing I do to cope. I keep asking my doc how to get diagnosed, I just keep getting antidepressants prescribed which do not help.
So here's some important facts I've learned from my doctors over recent years. Keep in mind, I'm not a doctor, and this information might be out of date (but I don't think it is).
People with ADHD are often comorbid with depression, so if a doctor doesn't treat the depression first, and gives the person with ADHD the medication to focus, it can result in the person with ADHD having enough focus to successfully make an attempt on their own life.
Fact two: many persons with ADHD doesn't make enough seratonin on their own to function, which means if you're being prescribed SSRIs, you don't have enough seratonin to selectively reuptake inhibit.
But since the antidepressants for ADHD are a different class of drugs, many doctors will run through the 'standard' list before they get to the stuff that helps ADHDers. And then once they've done that, and ruled out all the things, they'll move to "unconventional" treatment. Partly, this is because the process of trying different antidepressants can rule out things other than ADHD, and partly because they seem to want to rule out every other possible thing in addition to ADHD, before treating the ADHD. And if I were to guess, it's because giving a person ADHD medication who has a secret something else (like bipolar as an example) even though the person has ADHD, the ADHD medication can worsen the other condition to such a condition that it's better not to give ADHD medication at all.
This is why the process takes so fuckin long. And a couple years ago, I would've said it was stupid and a massive waste of time and harmful to the person with ADHD. But a year ago a friend of mine with bipolar was prescribed stimulant medication and his life absolutely went off the rails as a result, and seeing that first hand... I'd rather low and slow and not have to experience something like that.
Sorry for the word wall. I hope this helps!
This does help, and thank you. In truth, I don’t even want medication, I’m middle aged and this is the brain I’m used to. Would just be nice to understand myself a little better and maybe start getting some better strategies in place.
It’s just grating that every time I ask, I’m redirected. Maybe they just think I’m pill seeking.
I didn't get diagnosed with ADHD (didn't even suspect I had it) until I was mid-thirties, and I gotta say... now that I have the medication, I'm glad I have it. It was a long road to get there but I mean, it's nice to know, you know?
If you want, my DMs are open. I'm always here if you wanna vent. ♥
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Totally type 1 here. People even ask if I’m ok when I’m not random and chaotic as shit.
Type 2 here. I literally just walked out of a therapists office who essentially said exactly this.
Mask at work and chaos at home!
I stopped masking at work and it was one of the most liberating things i did in life
I've learned to appreciate my chaos for life's spice. I'm an Absurdist. I like to be the reason others do things. All that to say i rather enjoy the freedoms of peace and everyone should add a bit of flower magic to their life.
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I'm the second until i am stressed enough to start disassociating, then i become the first one :)
My disassociations are boring. I basically just stand there while I'm swept away by my chaotic stream of thoughts.
But, I somehow figured out if I let things get super chaotic, it becomes background noise and I'm suddenly meditating. As an added bonus my brain decided that would be my pain response, so now my pain tolerance is crazy high (like getting a vasectomy without anesthesia and only saying ouch under my breath a few times).
I do Uber in a tourist area during peak times. And I feel this comment.
Weekdays it's silence other than the NPR radio talking points. Friday to Sunday it's chatter that I submit to in fear of losing out on the seldom tip.
I'm held together by anxiety, caffeine and an unhealthy amount of self hate.
I also have 7 list, a board, 3 reminder app and leave sticky notes everywhere but I least I'm productive ( please help )
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