this post was submitted on 21 Apr 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] [email protected] 138 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

Called an ambulance for a first degree burn the size of a phone lol. Thank God they didn't get sunburned on their trip or they might've needed to be medevaced.

[–] [email protected] 69 points 5 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Been finally watching this show recently. Very good!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 days ago

I definitely enjoyed it when it was releasing back in the day, but Graham Linehan has made it kind of hard to enjoy Father Ted and The IT Crowd after knowing he's a full blown bigot.

[–] [email protected] 72 points 5 days ago (1 children)

And they say 5G signals are harmless! Tips tinfoil fedora.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 5 days ago (3 children)

I read somewhere that tinfoil hats actually magnify the signals arround ur brain

[–] [email protected] 17 points 5 days ago (1 children)

So if my phone has bad reception i should wear a tinfoil hat?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 days ago (1 children)

It's how satellite dishes work so... Maybe?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 days ago

You'd probably need to invert it though, otherwise you'll get amplified scatter.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 days ago

All the pros have Faraday cages built into their fedoras.

[–] [email protected] 53 points 5 days ago (5 children)

what's the plan from here on out now that 4chan is gone? Are we gunna be seeing greentexts from other image boards that all the anons fled to?

[–] [email protected] 33 points 5 days ago

Good question. I guess we'll have to see where people end up. We might start seeing "greentexts" from other sources, and I think that's fine too.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 5 days ago (1 children)

There will be fake post created by fake greentext generators.

I would really love an AI feature where the only model used is /b/. Lol.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 5 days ago (1 children)

GPT4chan is already a thing and was probably doing 60% of the posting.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 days ago

Didn't know this. Thanks for the info.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 5 days ago (1 children)

delicious vintage aged posts.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 days ago

I do have some very old stuff stockpiled, could always crack open a case.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 days ago
[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 days ago

I think it will come back for sure, we just have to wait.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 5 days ago (2 children)

I'm not sure why they'd call an ambulance, but I guess an overabundance of caution is better than not having an injury evaluated.

But I do wish more people would pick up the basics of first aid. Just seems like you'd want to know how to have a rough idea of evaluating your own injuries at the very least.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Exactly.

  • 1st degree burn (i.e. regular sunburn) - cool it down and get some lotion or something on it
  • 2nd degree burn (i.e. blisters) - clean and cover it; repeat w/ fresh bandages as needed
  • 3rd degree burn (i.e. many layers of skin) - seek medical attention
[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 days ago (1 children)

A second degree burn can require medical attention if it's in a painful location, if there are complications from healing or if it is a lot of skin. A second or even first degree burn can be life threatening depending on how much has been burnt. Aka, use your best judgement.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 days ago

Exactly. When in doubt, seek medical attention.

But for something localized like this, self-medication is more than reasonable.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 days ago

Wish they taught it at school

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 days ago

dumping the stock of 4chan screencaps, i see.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Big boobs on a fat chick is like a six pack on a skinny guy: it doesn't count

[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 days ago

very loud incorrect buzzer

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 days ago

No, it's just more of a good thing.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 days ago

I do something similar! Though it’s my back pocket and it’s stuffed firmly inside my ass, but only when I’m sweating. Offering my phone to others is as much biological warfare as kindness. I am a living smallpox blanket made of people pleasing and anxiety

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 days ago
[–] [email protected] -5 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Probably mostly because fat.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 days ago

should've burned her fat, not her tits