this post was submitted on 18 Apr 2025
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Asklemmy

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[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago) (1 children)

Honestly if I had my current level of knowledge, probably hygene. Teach them to make soap (animal fat and a source of base like ash), wash their hands, keep poop away from potable water sources, stuff like that.

Remember, it literally took until Victorian times to figure out that washing your hands prevents disease.

Also, math. Teach them how to do basic arithmetic, how to use a unit of measurement to figure out how big something is, stuff we'd learn in elementary school but weren't rigorously developed until the Ancient Greek age.

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 4 hours ago

Soap is super important, as for math - I'm guessing it's going to need to be geometry based before they can grok irrational numbers, or hell, symbolic notation in general

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 5 hours ago

Mandatory I'd have died more than once, but I suspect I would have been good at mental things like tracking and storytelling. I'd probably suck at everything else, too.

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

Our ancestors measured time to keep track of the breeding seasons of their prey as to not exterminate the local populations... so most likely for that

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 5 hours ago

Or just to better understand how and where to catch them. Don't forget we hunted all kinds of things to extinction anyway.

[โ€“] [email protected] 7 points 11 hours ago

Dying, mostly.

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 8 hours ago

Dying from allergies & asthma.

While still living, the tribe could deploy me as an animal detector: place me at the front of hunting parties, and the moment I start sneezing & wheezing, they know they've got prey nearby.

[โ€“] [email protected] 6 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

Navigation and being the first to try a cool looking mushroom and findout how dead I get.

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 11 hours ago (1 children)
[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

I just have a really good sense of direction and memory of places and paths.

Usually if I went somewhere even only once, even a year later I can recall how to get there again

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 11 hours ago

oh that's decent

*invites you to the caveman inner-circle*

[โ€“] [email protected] 6 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago) (1 children)

Oh! I'm actually somewhat decent with some useful things. I got sent to a wilderness school for fuck up kids when I was a teen. So I know how to, and have applied a lot of survival stuff.

I know how to effectively make a somewhat permanent shelter. I can make and use a bow drill to make fire, and along the same principal but with much more effort and time I could make fire with hand drill or fire plough techniques. I know how to make basic traps. I can make cordage, and have very, very very basic tracking skills. I know some edible and toxic plants in my area (not exhaustive by any means). I know how to clean and dress game. There's a lot of other stuff, but those popped into my head immediately.

It's been a long time since I've done all this, but the knowledge and know-how is all there. I'd actually be a decent person to have around!

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 12 hours ago

That's a pretty excellent school to go to, hell I wish I had that level of training

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 8 hours ago

I would excel in the use of the internet and computers as I would be the only one with knowledge about it. I would also be the only one who knows how to drive a car.

[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 12 hours ago

I think excel would be good software for managing hunter rotations, supplies and stone inventory.

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

Counting and therefore distributing spoils fairly. I would become a well-loved chief and would probably get laid more than I currently do, although the hairy partners may not be of my liking.

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 13 hours ago

eh beauty is relative and you'd get used to it. It sounds like you'd be the village sandwich maker, and yes I can imagine that being a very prestigious position

[โ€“] [email protected] 6 points 17 hours ago

Time travel, evidently.

[โ€“] [email protected] 0 points 8 hours ago

Computers! Shit.

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 12 hours ago

Probably dying at age <1.

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 16 hours ago

You'd be a lot taller and probably also faster (maybe not stronger). You'd become a god-king in no time. Or be killed as a monster.

[โ€“] [email protected] 17 points 1 day ago

Iโ€™m pretty good at thinking outside the box and innovating, so Iโ€™d probably just die.

[โ€“] [email protected] 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Is that Marjorie Trailer Greene?

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

That's a supermodel compared to her.

[โ€“] [email protected] 34 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

It always bugs me how cavemen wheels aren't ever depicted with a matching axle. That's the hard and novel part! I'm glad this guy found an alternative for it.

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 3 hours ago

With enough grease any old stick can be an axle for a while, the wheel is the hard part.

[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago
[โ€“] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago

Dogs seem to like me so maybe I'd be one of the first to domesticate dogs. I'd probably just live with dogs.

[โ€“] [email protected] 39 points 1 day ago (7 children)

Excel, it wouldn't be useful but I'd still be great at it.

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[โ€“] [email protected] 19 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[โ€“] [email protected] 12 points 1 day ago

I came here to write Dying, but 7 other people had already done that.

[โ€“] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 14 hours ago (2 children)

While I believe you, dear nutsack, take a minute and think about the whole process of sucking dick before showers were a thing.

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 5 hours ago

They were just used to it. Even today, bathing frequency is culturally dependent.

When old love poetry talks about the musk of a lover, I do wonder at what range it was noticeable.

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 8 hours ago

you do what you've got to do

[โ€“] [email protected] 9 points 1 day ago

Starvation.

[โ€“] [email protected] 17 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I'm a natural at shooting a traditional bow.
I know every edible plant in my area, and some that get you high.
I can find north without a compass, day and night.
I can make a fire from things I can gather in the woods.
I know how to safely fell a tree, split logs and build a shelter with hand tools.
I know how to act around most predators and have experience handling a spear.

I think I'd do reasonably well.
Sometimes I wish I was born in the stone age. My ADHD is completely gone whenever I'm in the wild.

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[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Digging holes with a shovel. I'm good at that.

Whittling. Drawing.

Meditation.

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[โ€“] [email protected] 120 points 2 days ago (7 children)
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[โ€“] [email protected] 10 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Either making elaborate traps and contraptions out of sticks and stones.

Or brain surgery.

[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago

You'd be the shaman putting holes into heads to cure headaches

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[โ€“] [email protected] 83 points 2 days ago (4 children)

Iโ€™d be the best at powershell. Unfortunately I wouldnโ€™t live very long.

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 11 hours ago

Plot twist: powershell is slang for a sex act in the Stone age

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