this post was submitted on 12 Sep 2023
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So, I've worked at my current job for around three years. I had a really good crew when I first started, and one by one, they all fell off for various reasons. My favorite coworker went and got a job at my old job (same field) and I got stuck picking up the pieces.

There are two owners. A husband and wife. They have been spending a lot of time out of state essentially on vacation and ignoring the shop. Also, my current batch of coworkers are not a good team. They're not helpful and just don't have their head in the game. I wouldn't care so much except it all falls to me to pick up the pieces when they don't pitch in.

Anyway, I took a meeting with the old place I worked at, and got a good offer. Plus, my favorite coworker from the current job works there, and I'm excited to get the dream team back together.

Why do I feel so bad about leaving? The bosses have been completely unavailable and I get no support anywhere. Hours are going down to zero and I can't afford to live.

I haven't exactly been vocal about my problems, because I've been trying to act like a leader and rally the troops

I guess I'm just looking for kind words of encouragement from internet strangers.

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[–] [email protected] 53 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Why do I feel so bad about leaving?

probably internalized capitalist propaganda about how employees are supposed be loyal and nonsense like that. sounds like you should accept the new offer, and giving no notice is pretty funny.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

That's what my shoulder devil is saying. I took the job. That's a done deal.

The coworker I mentioned quit on them when they were both in Florida and they didn't come back to help figure things out. All I got for saving the business was a 50¢ raise. That was a year ago. I have a feeling I would never get another raise either.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I'm not sure about the internalizing capitalist agenda stuff - but if it were me (and I have been in a similar position in the past) - you probably know how shitty life is about to get for all your soon-to-be former coworkers.

Even if they are awful, you may think they don't deserve the shit show that's awaiting them when you (the person who takes up the slack) bails.

The thing is, it's already shitty for you, and nobody is going to look out for your mental health/prosperity but you. And worst case, your former coworkers can find some place else to go.

I'm glad you accepted the offer, now the only (minor) challenge will be sticking to it despite pleading from your manger/counter offers.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

This is the closest to my thinking. Deep down I like my old coworkers as people. One of them is my sister.

The real answer is I'm a lot more replaceable than everyone thinks. If anyone would have taken the last three years to memorize the easy parts of my job that I have written down everywhere their transition shouldn't be that tough.

I'm off to my first day back at the other job, so hopefully that will be the experience I need to realize how much better I'm about to have it

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm in the process of "ghosting" my job*

*I have been abandoned by my bosses and I am not getting enough work in my current job to live off of so I have decided that it's in my best interests to leave for a job which will improve my prospects because, clearly, my current bosses are not concerned with my basic needs as an employee and as a human being who is just trying to get by

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It sounds like they’re exploitative scum who rely on your strong work ethic to allow them to live it up on permanent vacation.

Repeat after me: “fuck them”

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

That really is the crux of it. I just wish I wasn't friends with half the people that work there. The guy who is filling in for me is the bassist in our "band" and also my sister works there. It's a little awkward, but they'll get over it

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

In a rational system "being a team/family" and such with your workplace wouldn't have such a problematic meaning. It's normal to form connections to people you spend a lot of time with, it's normal to want to positively contribute to something larger than yourself, it's normal to want a place to run better.

It's just that under capitalism, these "normal" tendencies are used against us to extract more value. Everywhere I've worked my entire life, the primary problem keeping us from being a cohesive team is management or ownership.

I'm currently leaving a workplace that I like, working with great people, because the owners refuse to dip into their hundreds of thousands of dollars of profit to adequately compensate us. The high turnover rate is directly antithetical to the supposed business purpose (healthcare). My attempts to organize largely failed this time.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Sounds like we are in a similar situation. I know I'm making the right choice. They are very manipulative,whether it's intentional or not . The wife is the manipulative and calculating one while the husband is a very likeable TV sitcom oaf.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Repeat after me: work is commercial.

Work is commercial.

Work is commercial.

We are in it for the money. It’s ok to be in it for the money. Look after your own best interests bc nobody else will.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

I hate so much the way that businesses try to goad you into saying you love it there. Sure, some people love their jobs, but I don't know why my wife's work gave her a survey that asked why she likes working there. She's basically IT. I suggested to dead ass write "money" in that spot. Not sure if she did, but these idiots need to start realizing the only reason we show up is because that's how the shitty game is played.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

IMO bosses get what they pay for, in time and in effort. It sounds like they’ve neglected you, the business, and your co-workers.

I’m hearing that you care about your efforts, and that you take the time to notice what isn’t working. Could you have spoken up? Sure, probably. Should they have actively checked in with you? Absolutely. This is on them.

Employers act like they have no duty of care, but they forget that we have no obligation to keep picking up their slack. No one is entitled to be a business owner.

Good luck with the new offer.

There must be 50 ways to leave employers.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's going to be a good change. It's an old familiar building that I've worked in for years, I'm at the top of my field (which isn't saying much) and I'll be around friends.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

buddy, take that, its extremely rare to have even minor job satisfaction. You even have a friend at the other one, which is another rare thing. Do it my guy.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

Oh, I'm so doing it. I actually have a few friends, including my direct superior. It's going to be a good switch. I just get nervous about change.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Why are you so loyal to capital that you don't own?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Because I like the work that I do, and until we get off the Internet and start guillotining folks, it was one of my best options. It was basically the NewLeaf show where I worked. I could smoke weed outside and do my job high as giraffe balls. Realistically I have to work somewhere until either everything collapses or I magically acquire some skill after being on this path my whole adult life

I take your point though.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Yes, obviously, my point was, "this dude has every reason to switch back to their former place, yet seems like he feels responsability for their actual place despite seeming like interchangeable with his former place"

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

specter ghosting is king shit

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Investing three years of your life in something and then being forced to walk away because of owner neglect is hard.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Yeah, I was kind of hoping this was it when I started. My aforementioned coworker and I could have ran that place forever while they tanned their pasty white asses in Florida if they could have relinquished an ounce of control. The pay wasn't bad, we had good ideas for new products that kept getting shot down...

We coulda BEEN SOMEBODY!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

When you have your other option 100% locked in, tell the owners of your current place you're planning to leave (if you liked it at one point, no reason to burn bridges) and -- here's the fun part -- make them an offer to stay.

Make it such a good offer for you that you would love to stay if they bite. Obviously you include a big pay bump, possibly more control over the workplace/hiring, better vacation, whatever, go nuts.

  1. If they agree to it, you just got yourself a big-ass raise and you don't have to move. Maybe you can even hire that coworker of yours back (shit, make giving them a good offer a term!) and you get the best of everything. Tell the other employer about the "counter offer" you got from your current employer and they'll either see why you're backing out (again, no reason to burn bridges) or maybe offer you even more.
  2. If they don't agree to it, you're going to feel better about leaving, and you'll have shot your shot at a big raise.
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

dont feel bad, it sounds like they don’t deserve notice of your quitting. fuck them, maybe this will teach them a lesson, probably not, but it’s better than going easy on them by giving them notice

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Whoa, patch 1.02 for AC6 is huge, as in 44 whole GBsshocked-pikachu

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Why do I feel so bad about leaving? The bosses have been completely unavailable and I get no support anywhere. Hours are going down to zero and I can't afford to live.

That's just the nature of working with coworkers for awhile. You're not leaving them behind. If you really want to, recruit them once you start at the old place you're going back to.

I haven't exactly been vocal about my problems, because I've been trying to act like a leader and rally the troops

IMO a leader should be vocal about problems they experience, because, depending on the problem, chances are other people you work with are experiencing the same problems but haven't spoken up

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Oh, NewLeaf, you’ve come here and you’ve brought good and wealth, but you have also brought your bad habits as a backslider. You’ve lusted after hentai-free , and you have abandoned your job — your crew that you raised. You have abandoned all because he was sick and you have sinned. So say it now — “I am a sinner.”

I am a sinner

Louder, "I am a sinner"

I AM A SINNER

I am as sinner and you have abandoned your job

I've abandoned my job

say it, say it louder

IVE ABANDONED MY JOB

IVE ABANDONED MY JOB

IVE ABANDONED MY BOSS

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

I'm going to go drink that other milkshake

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

If you say "going ghost" when you leave your job, you turn into Danny Phantom.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

You have to do what is right for you. If you're in the US, then many places are at will employment and your bosses wouldn't hesitate to let you go.

I'd say read any appropriate vacation policies to make sure your getting everything your owed and put in your leave notice.

No job is worth your sanity.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Stockholm is why you feel bad

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You probably can't clock in and leave in this situation but it sure is fun to think about

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I have access to The Clock on my phone. I could clock myself in on my toilet at home.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I thought that was some app that let you fudge your timesheet lol.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Nope, just a terrible typo

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Well, we all feel an obligation to help, but you help the most where you are happy. If that makes any sense. Those owners are giving you nothing, and ignoring you and the shop you basically run but for some reason don't own.

either form a union (unlikely if the new guys suck that much) or go to the other job that is wayyyy better for you

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

I thought about the union angle when we had a good crew, but it's such a small operation, it would be hard to get people to stick to their guns. A couple of my employees or whatever you want to call them are a bit selfish. I don't mean that in a way that I care they're giving the company their all, but they have no solidarity. It's all about how much they can sit around on their phones and smoke weed in the alley. I would care a lot less if it wasn't production work that ends up all falling on me