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[–] 251 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (78 children)

Ah yes, a classic tale...

"We're going to take this perfectly efficient and functional COBOL code base and rewrite it in Java! And we'll do it in a few months!"

So many more competent people and organizations than them have already tried this and spectacularly crashed and burned. There are literal case studies on these types of failed endeavors.

I bet they'll do it in Waterfall too.

It's interesting. If they use Grok, this could well be the deathknell for vibe programming (at least for now). It's just fucking tragic that their hubris will cause grief and pain to so many Americans - and cost the lives of more than a few.

Edit: Fixed some typos.

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  • [–] 81 points 2 years ago (40 children)

    Jokes aside, nothing wrong with rewriting in Java. It is well-suited for this kind of thing.

    Rewriting it in anything without fully understanding the original code (the fact they think 150yo are collecting benefits tells me they don't) is the biggest mistake here. I own codebases much smaller than the SSA code and there are still things I don't fully understand about it AND I've caused outages because of it.

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  • [–] 56 points 2 years ago (9 children)

    No. Java is not suited for this. This code runs on mainframes not some x86 shitbox cluster of dell blades. They literally could not purchase the hardware needed to switch to java in the timeline given. I get what you're trying to say but in this case Java is a hard no.

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  • [–] 27 points 2 years ago (29 children)

    Non programmer but skilled with computers type guy here: what makes Java well suited for this?

    This is probably an incorrect prejudice of mine, but I always thought those old languages are simpler and thus faster. Didn’t people used to rip on Java for being inefficient and too abstracted?

    Last language I had any experience with was C++ in high school programming class in the early 2000s, so I’m very ignorant of anything modern.

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    [–] 129 points 2 years ago (9 children)

    There are only two reasons softwares goes for decades without being replaced:

    1. It’s so unimportant that nobody uses it
    2. It’s so important that the last major bug was squashed 15 years ago
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    [–] 123 points 2 years ago*

    How this will go:

    DOGE: "Okay Grok. Convert this COBOL code into Python."

    Dumb AI: "Certainly! Here you go."

    System crashes and exposes all Americans' SSNs

    DOGE: "Fuckin' DEI hires...!"

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  • [–] 112 points 2 years ago (4 children)

    Australian here.

    They are robbing you

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  • [–] 87 points 2 years ago* (2 children)

    This has the stench of junior engineer all over it. This rewrite will go way over budget and come limping across the finish line late, with more bugs and less features than the system it replaces. I guarantee it.

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    [–] 83 points 2 years ago (14 children)

    "ROFL"

    Signed, everyone who has been involved in migrating a codebase before.

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    [+] 67 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 child)
  • [–] 21 points 2 years ago

    Yep, this is it. Show how “broken” it is by breaking it, and enough of the population won’t even notice when it’s “fixed” and they’re only getting 2/3 of what they were before (and are entitled to). Plus grift, etc.

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  • [+] 53 points 2 years ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 child)
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    [–] 51 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    These comments are completely missing the truth.

    They have zero intention of rebuilding anything, this is just an excuse to destroy SSA ...

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    [–] 51 points 2 years ago (13 children)

    This is like a new programmer coming in to their new job, seeing the code isn't perfect and saying they could rebuild the entire thing and do it better in a month.

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  • [–] 22 points 2 years ago (7 children)

    It's not a case of "seeing the code isn't perfect" but rather, not understanding the myriad problems the code is solving or mitigating.

    I'm reminded of this shitshow:

    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/2010_Queensland_Health_payroll_system_implementation

    Queensland is a state of about 3m people in Australia. Their health service employs about 100k people. They ended up spending about 900m USD to develop their payroll software and fix the fuck ups it caused.

    I'm an accountant by trade, there's a classic "techbro does accounting" style of development we see a lot. Like if you hadn't spent a career learning how complex accounting can be, it would be easy to look at a payroll system and conclude "it's just a database with some rules".

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    [–] 46 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (2 children)

    I've worked on teams converting legacy code for most of my life. The planning for something like this would take longer than six months.

    If this proceeds in Trump's corrupt government, Elon will get the contract, will claim it is too broken to salvage, and will privatize it. The only way this goes anywhere is if Trump and musk stand to gain money, and they stand to gain a lot.

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    [–] 32 points 2 years ago

    Oh no, he wants to “rebuild the stack” from the ground up again.

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  • [–] 32 points 2 years ago* (2 children)

    This is just another step down "I honestly just can't comprehend the stupidity of what is going on in the American government"-alley...

    Like... what do they even expect to come of this? Why are they even interested in doing it? Is it just to stir up shit?

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  • [–] 57 points 2 years ago* (1 child)

    They are trying to break the government beyond all repair. At that point they'll say it's the Democrats that broke it.

    Their cult members will swallow the lie hook line and sinker, and continue to keep them in power. (Side note, this will be made easier by gutting all election oversight as part of the package.)

    Meanwhile, all that tax money we paid into Social Security, SNAP, Medicaid and Medicare, Unemployment insurance... basically any program meant to help people, will flow directly into billionaire's pockets.

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  • [–] 31 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    i hope elon and the entire "doge" team dies. i really do.

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    [+] 30 points 2 years ago (5 children)
  • [–] 18 points 2 years ago

    I'm on SSDI and VA disability. I can't work. I'm terrified every time they even breath in the direction of either place. I'd be super fucked. Even losing SSDI would destroy us. That's about 3/4 of our mortgage payment. So many other vets are in the same boat.

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    [–] 30 points 2 years ago (4 children)

    They're really playing with fire here.

    So many MAGA supporters are seniors who are entirely dependent on OASDI. If Trump's minions break this, we're going to see torches and pitchforks strapped to electric scooters and golf carts coming out of Florida retirement communities in droves.

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    [–] 28 points 2 years ago (5 children)

    "…but sir, we only know Node.js…"

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    [–] 27 points 2 years ago (5 children)

    Months? I don't k ow how to code, and even I know that's impossible.

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    [–] 24 points 2 years ago (6 children)

    If it fails spectaculairly who will take the blame? Will there be any repercussions at all?

    Or will Musk and Trump shrug their shoulders? Halfheartedly blame Biden for badly programming the original database then go play some golf/videogaminges?

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    [–] 24 points 2 years ago* (1 child)

    step 1. rewrite into spaghetti code

    step 2. nobody understands the new code, so the govt has to contract elon musk for code maintenance forever

    step 3. profit

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    [–] 21 points 2 years ago

    This clusterfck has me seriously considering whether taxes are quite as certain as death anymore.

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  • [–] 20 points 2 years ago (4 children)

    In theory, it wouldn't be a necessarily bad idea to port the COBOL code to something more modern, but I cannot trust Muskrat and a few vibe coder youngsters with this task.

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  • [–] 24 points 2 years ago

    Bro. Check it out bro, we're gonna like make it this dope Electron app, bro. It'll interface with X, bro and everyone will have to login there to get their money, bro. Don't worry tho, you'll get paid in recession-proof Trumpbux crypto currency as long as you claim it in time. But X gets a fee of 60% bro.

    Seriously bro we like hired a bunch of grads that took a one week X created code boot camp that like you know revolved around a language big balls created called "cyber coin purse++". On second thought bro we're rewriting it in that. Should be like 2 weeks to rewrite it cuz old people wrote the current code and they're like old or whatever bro. Like I live in an old person's basement and they're just like old, bro.

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    [–] 20 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    if (!=white) {benefits=false}

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  • [–] 18 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    This idea is terrifying in the most insidious ways. Who has access to the code? Who is auditing the code? Are they putting in code that may disenfranchise "the right people". How long will it take to come to light? When found out, provided 'Adults' are running the country again, how much and how long would it take to fix it? And what backdoors are in the code?

    This is bad news all around.

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