this post was submitted on 05 Sep 2023
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[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

The two worst people to be in line behind (at least here in Canada) are old men choosing lottery tickets, and old women choosing cigarettes. Neither of these respective parties ever have the slightest fucking clue what they actually want or even prefer. Never mind that they've performed the exact same ritual every day for the better part of five decades. It's as though every instance is a pivotal point in their lives, and it mustn't be rushed.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

I don't know how they're so bad at grabbing smoke either. Like come on you smoke 40 of them a day you know what you want

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Goddesses, I am tired of seeing this fucking turtle

[–] Vuraniute 16 points 1 year ago (2 children)

he belongs in a museum not in a senate (or whatever he's in)

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Congress is America’s most lavish nursing home

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

I wish this was just a joke..

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Why did I immediately imagine Indiana Jones saying that?

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Clerk: "Will you be using cash or card?"

Mitch the Bitch: stares intently at the wall.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

Old people love gambling

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

One day, he's going to stall at the podium for good, and when he does, the agents and officials will be so terrified of him that they let him stand there brainless, irresponsive to cues and nudges for a solid five minutes while press footage leaks onto the internet.

The federal government will look as ridiculous as a naked emperor and it will be glorious.