this post was submitted on 22 Jan 2025
726 points (99.1% liked)

Greentext

4868 readers
1203 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
(page 2) 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 day ago (5 children)

It's a bit like the shortest joke: A woman comes at the doctor....

Or in German: Kommt 'ne Frau beim Arzt...

This one works well in German and English, but I assume it's untranslatable in many other languages.

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] [email protected] 44 points 2 days ago (2 children)

This is a kids pun joke that got lost in translation. Treffen can mean either to meet or to hit (like with a bullet).

Want a funny German joke? Why don't ants go to church? Because they're insects!

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 days ago

As an immigrant in Germany, that’s the reason people think Germans aren’t funny. A lot of the humor is pun-based (and sometimes there are many, many more layers, making them actually very good jokes), which just doesn’t translate well.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago

It's neat that the ant joke's pun translates into English, good pick.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Québécois and a French learning Ontarian having a chat. The Ontarians goes - o look a fly, Québécois corrects him- A fly. O - wow you have good eyesight. Wregarde, un mouche- -Non, une mouche

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 26 points 2 days ago

An angry Ontarian calls a radio show, and complains about all the Newfies coming to Ontario to take the good jobs. "We aughta build a wall to keep them Newfies out!"

Next call to the radio show is a newfie: "Owshegettinonb’y? Ye by's be havin' any jobs bildin tha' wall or wha'?"

(How are you doing? You guys have any jobs building that wall, or what?)

[–] [email protected] 34 points 2 days ago

German humour is no laughing matter!

[–] [email protected] 29 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

What's yellow, and waiting? Jonathan.

e: i promise it's not racist

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 41 points 2 days ago (1 children)

In french, Jonathan sounds like 'jaune attend' (yellow waits)

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 days ago (2 children)

omg

I was trying to make it work with German

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 days ago (2 children)

yeah, a while ago they tried that in france as well

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

These two are from Romania, specifically about people from Ardeal (the region encompassing Transylvania) - which means they're aimed at the fact that people from Ardeal are slow (haha, so funny, Southerners...):

  1. John and George were out on the field reaping all day and were heading back to the village. Suddenly, it starts raining fiercely, so they huddle under some walnut trees and decide to spend the night there in case it wouldn't let up.

Later on, while sleeping, George is suddenly woken up by a foul smell. "John," he said softly, "did you fart?"

"No, George, must've been the dog."

"Oh, ok."

A couple of minutes pass, then George suddenly has a realisation: "John, the dog isn't here, though..."

"Oh, don't worry," says John half asleep, "I'm sure it'll turn up eventually."

  1. John, George and Mary were at the bus stop, waiting for the bus. They've been there for half an hour, sitting.

"The bus isn't coming," John says softly.

After a couple of minutes, George replies matter-of-factly: "it'll come, I'm telling you."

A few more minutes pass, then Mary chimes in: "if you two keep arguing, I'm walking home."

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 days ago (1 children)

«done is done said the moose and walked over the river and became a reindeer.»

in norwegian done rhymes with deer, and reindeer rhymes with clean.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 days ago (4 children)

Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

💀

Zer ver zwei peanuts walking down der Straße. Von vas assaulted .... peanut.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 days ago (2 children)
load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago (2 children)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 days ago

Girl goes to a store and asks: "do you sell pantyhoses?". The salesman replies: "why? Do you have half an ass?"

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago

The pot is lauging because the boiler is black.

load more comments
view more: ‹ prev next ›