I'm spending NYE hospitalized because my butthole don't work. (hexbear.net)

submitted 6 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Spent most of the last month hospitalized, actually. Found out by having a massive ulcerative colitis flare up that I needed to go to the ER for. Missed Christmas with my gf's family, was supposed to be my first with them deeper-sadness and I was really looking forward to it. We just moved across the country together so it would've meant a lot to me. Honestly was excited to not spend it with mine because my sister's kids are crazy loud (though I do love 'em) and my parents/BIL are pretty cringe . Still bummed because I took really good care to buy nice gifts for everyone but I couldn't ship them out to them.

The kicker is I'm gonna have to have my colon removed because it is so thoroughly cooked - but at this point I'm kinda cool with it because that means I can't have ulcerative colitis anymore. And once everything heals up they can reconnect the ileum (IDK the doctor was talking about levels from MGS2 or something) back up to my butthole so I won't have to use colostomy bags forever.

I'm counting my blessings because they are giving me pain meds regularly ( I like opiates, it's bad but I don't fuck with them in my day-to-day so it's a nice treat), I've stopped nicotine/caffeine/drinking for the last 3 weeks, and I won't have to deal with drunk people but it's rough not being with my gf for the night.

Anyways Happy New Year Hexbear!

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[-] [email protected] 18 points 6 months ago

(IDK the doctor was talking about levels from MGS2 or something)

Raiden doing cartwheels up your butt

Dumb jokes aside, feel better soon - hope the surgery and recovery go well!

[-] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago

Thanks! I think they will (knock on wood)

[-] [email protected] 15 points 6 months ago

Wishing you and your buttholle all the best for 2025

[-] [email protected] 14 points 6 months ago

That's some good news though you won't have UC anymore and won't be forced to bags. Feel better cuddle

[-] [email protected] 11 points 6 months ago

cuddle

[-] [email protected] 13 points 6 months ago

Hey, you got a great party story for worst New Year's ever for the rest of your life.

This is an investment for big laughs.

Wish you a great and beautiful 2025 with all of these issues long behind you, no pun intended, Comrade.

[-] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago

Nobutthole wants to work anymore because of woke

[-] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago

Endure, in enduring grow stronger. fidel-balling

[-] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago

damnit
I have to get my butthole looked at again as soon as I can figure out how to get it done for free. I hope it isn't this dire, haven't had a flareup in a while despite regular drinking, nicotine and general poor habit backsliding so that's probably a good sign. unless its cancer.

lololol

No but really this post was a good kick in the (ow why'd you kick me there) and knowing butts holes can be cyborg'd back to function gives me hope that the scarier possibilities are all cope-with-able. So thanks for sharing your vulnerability I wish you the best of luck and all blessings while you heal.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago

Hey if this helped you, great! I mean it's not ideal on my end (lol), but at least there's a finish line.

[-] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

meow-hug butt

[-] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

One of my coworkers had a good portion of his colon removed. Bodybuilder. Healthy as can be. He is much happier, but also needs to watch what he eats a bit and has to use the bathroom more frequently because it's an express pass now. 😉

Hope it all works out. I'm sure they understand.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago

Ive been in an extremely similar position to you comrade, solidarity

[-] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago

Get well soon!

May I propose a theme song?

https://youtu.be/--9kqhzQ-8Q

[-] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:

[-] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

get well soon meow-hug

this post was submitted on 01 Jan 2025

80 points (98.8% liked)

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