this post was submitted on 22 Dec 2024
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chapotraphouse

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The essence of this image is making me feel weird

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 days ago

They were cooking until the last part which literally says "The solution to this situation: petition"

There's a massive international conspiracy to enslave the entire humankind with chips and your solution is to sign a petition? That's the most depressing part of this all

[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 days ago (1 children)

took me a while to realize that life without chips wasn't referring to hot chips

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Doctor, it feels like I've got tortilla chips under my skin, and I keep wanting to scoop salsa with them!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 days ago

Morgellons: Cool Ranch

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Life without chips? Just like, packet chips? Or fries? Surely it doesn't include sweet potato chips, they're still ok, right?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 days ago

Wrong. You know why they're called chips? You see those little white grains sprinkled all over them? Those are nano chips that when ingested concentrate themselves in your pineal gland and begin emitting 5G rays, cutting you off from the light of Jesus and Allah.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 days ago

Chips as in the microchip Micro$oft is going to put in your brain when they do the end of the world. CRISPS will be safe, at least.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 days ago

This just feels like severe, untreated mental illness

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 days ago

mom can we have dr bronners soap bottle literature

mom: we have dr bronners at home

the dr bronners at home:

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

Hell of it is a lot of people thought barcodes were the mark of the beast when they first came about. This is - for instance - why Hobby Lobby's inventory control sucks so bad

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

imagining a victorian version of this but it's about incorrectly-drawn saurians (the fossil record was still being assembled at the time) filling your body with tiny copper pipes in order to make you highly conductive to their negative harmonies

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Ah shit this is the good stuff, some real geocities nostalgia.

http://www.ashtar-sheran.org/english/default_en.htm

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago

I have an angelic dream that people will begin speaking in CZECH – in A SINGLE planetary language and will throw away 7000 different languages poked here by the infernal saurians from lots of other worlds so that people could never understand themselves.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 days ago (1 children)

You know shit's gonna get wild when woo types mention Ashtar Sheran

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago

Me if someone brings this up: sicko-jammin

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 days ago

as soon as elon comes out with chips and the pundits sell it as a great advancement, these people will get them implanted i guarantee it.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago

I literally reas the first line as 'life without chips' (crisps) and i was lkke ahaha no thanks I cannot live without chips

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Man, wait until you see that weird Jesus-is-savior website

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago

Oh fuck yeah, a fellow Jesus Is Lord enjoyer

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Hell yeah. I love this website. He owns like 100 different urls.

Like, it's all problematic as fuck, but God damn did he spend time on it all.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago

I'm getting seven chips so I can collapse into a singularity of bad vibes like i've always wanted to

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago (2 children)

“I have an angelic dream that one day earthly nations will rise up and live out the true meaning of their creed: 'We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.'

I have an angelic dream that one day on the planet Earth, the sons of Angels of Heaven and the sons of former Angels of Darkness will be able to sit down together at the table of love and brotherhood.

I have an angelic dream that one day even the planet Earth, the desert planet, a planet sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of slavery and oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I have an angelic dream that My children of Earth will one day live on this planet where they will not be judged by their position and role but by the content of their character.

I have an angelic dream that people will begin speaking in CZECH – in A SINGLE planetary language and will throw away 7000 different languages poked here by the infernal saurians from lots of other worlds so that people could never understand themselves.

I have an angelic dream that people on the Earth will begin using their SPIRITUAL HEARTS in their lives, where they have Creator’s highest truth, love, wisdom, good and intelligence and the avails from these.

I have an angelic dream that one day, people will begin using the technologies only for their USE, use of planet Earth and the entire Creation, and will stop slaving for useless things, and that they, once for all, get rid of all weapons given here by the saurians from hells.

I have an angelic dream that people will eliminate all infernal media that destroy people’s lives, manipulate them, misinform and confuse them and disallow them to attain happiness, health, love, truth, wisdom and all uses from these.

I have an angelic dream that one day, people will begin looking up to the East instead of the West, i.e., to the INCREASE OF LIGHT – the love and truth, thus to the path of THE ASCENSION TO THE HEAVENS.

I have an angelic dream that every day, people will sing together in joy, happiness and health and work for society a minimum of time much like the Angels in Heavens do. In 2009, this is 4 hours a day and, after due transformation of the infernal sucking system into the heavenly system, this would be just 2 hours a day.

I have an angelic dream that one day the puppet-mankind on the planet Earth shall rise up from the manacles of remote control by the Forces of Darkness, cease pointless slaving for material regarded as a god, and take its life into its own hands by means of THE PRIME CREATOR'S PURE LOVE.

I have an angelic dream that mankind will throw away the yoke of curse of the negative state, will cease once and for all being a puppet-mankind of the saurians from Darkness, and will join THE BIG HEAVENLY FAMILY OF ANGELIC WORLDS IN A PURE LOVE just as it has been since time immemorial – since times of creation by THE PRIME CREATOR OF ALL AND EVERYTHING !

I have an angelic dream that this mankind will fly up free to the Heavens, and it will keep its experience of the world of slavery and fallacy just for the reason of never again coming under seducement and temptation of the Forces of Darkness and their negative state.

This angelic dream I see in beautiful bright colors as the future of people on the planet Earth which they choose in understanding that only PURE LOVE IN THEIR HEARTS SETS THEM FREE !

There is no force to stop this angelic dream, for THE LIGHT WINS AND THE LIGHT IS THE SOURCE OF LIFE given to us as a gift from THE PRIME CREATOR OF ALL AND EVERYTHING, WHO HAS BEEN FOR EONS EVERYWHERE AND IN EVERYTHING – THE ABSOLUTE LOVE, WISDOM, GOOD, TRUTH AND INTELLIGENCE.

Given to all of you, dear people, by THE LORD JESUS CHRIST.”

-- this website

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago

Czech dudes rock

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

Man this feels like my dad's final form. Like he's in the hospital passing away and then a new health bar appears and some vaguely latin sounding lyrics start playing and I'm just filled with terror

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago

The funny thing about these cranks is their message can be read as super anti-capitalist in a way

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

Looking into this...

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

it's so easy to make shit like this up because it's like three (racist completely made up) details away from the truth, just barely changed enough to drive attention away from genuinely helpful action

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Thranduil wants all the chips for himself so he can extract the gold

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

im laughing my ass off at the person in THE OLD EARTH sphere, they look like yassified hillary clinton hitting the home alone pose