this post was submitted on 07 Dec 2024
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chapotraphouse

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[–] [email protected] 93 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

This is ridiculous. If they already know his name, saying that they do but that they don't want to say what the name is still gives way that they have his name.

I would be absolutely floored if they actually knew it, this feels like Ukraine war propaganda style cope.

[–] [email protected] 52 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I would be absolutely floored if they actually knew it, this feels like Ukraine war propaganda style cope.

the shooters name is Gostov Kiev

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 weeks ago

kiev these nuts

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[–] [email protected] 37 points 2 weeks ago

I would be absolutely floored if they actually knew it, this feels like Ukraine war propaganda style cope.

It was hard for me to phrase my post title because not only is Adams a big liar but he's a real idiot and he can be incoherent as well. I'll be interested to see if his press office issues a clean up comment. And if they do - will it make things even more confusing?

[–] [email protected] 86 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

ok but Eric Adams is a compulsive liar. constant, sustained, even unnecessary lying. if you were gonna count up just the provable lies that guy tells and then use that to inform the probability that he's lying at any given moment, he'd probably beat coinflip odds

[–] [email protected] 28 points 2 weeks ago

I bet he even lied about shit like having a window seat on all those comped airline tickets. Dude loves lying.

[–] [email protected] 85 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Did he hear him described as a "John Doe" without having that term explained to him?

[–] [email protected] 63 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Oh, man. I hope this happens at a press conference....

"...And so we know his name. I will share it with you. His name is John Doe."

There's a pregnant pause the reporters look perplexed. An enterprising reporter way in the back yells "HIS NAME IS LITERALLY JOHN DOE?!"

The mayor gets mad at being yelled at. "What did I just say? You heard me. His name is John Doe..." The mayor continues to berate the "fifth-rate alt media hack in the back".

Another clever reporter furiously checked Wikipedia for an easy way to reach the mayor's muddled mind. Before he starts his next sentence - she sort of yells at him: "Wikipedia says that 'John Doe is a placeholder names when the true name of a person is unknown or is being intentionally concealed.' Is this John Doe actually named John Doe? For real?"

The mayor is about to lecture her too but stops himself and is clearly befuddled. "John Doe is... It's... His name... John Doe is..." Clears throat. "John Doe is his code name that we in law enforcement are using..."

[–] dsilverz 22 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

“…And so we know his name. I will share it with you. His name is John Doe.”

A better version:

“…And so we know his name. We worked tirelessly to identify him, yeah, we did, believe me, as I will share his name with you. His name is... uh... [check notes]... John... John Doe.”

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I liked the other more, making this a worse version

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

is there a version of you with a different opinion?

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Without a doubt, but they're not online right now. I'll leacve you unread so they can see you

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

that's what your mom said last night

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

She should really switch to PostgreSQL

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago

I like them both.

  • centrist bureaucrat who just wants everyone to have a good time
[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 weeks ago

The last sentence ends this beautiful flash fiction with such a good punchline. chefs-kiss

[–] [email protected] 67 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 52 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Yeah this sounds purely like grand standing and cope over the fact the don't have shit but a grainy hostel security cam picture that might not even be him.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 2 weeks ago

They still haven't established how they connected the assassin to video footage of someone checking into a hostel about a month ago

Did he just pull a Fallout protagonist and stand in place perfectly still for 24 hour increments until it was go time?

[–] [email protected] 27 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

are the photos even real

the "handsome" photo looks very different from the one where he's looking down, he also has totally diff eyebrows in it, diff backpack, maybe also lack of hoodie? face looks diff, but I also don't care so I haven't looked into it much

[–] [email protected] 30 points 2 weeks ago

Adding giant Brezhnev eyebrows to my Assassin Outfit Kit because of this whole thing

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 weeks ago

oh yeah I am skeptical of that photo and of course if it is not him and I were that guy I sure as shit wouldn't be coming forward to correct the record lol

[–] [email protected] 57 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Of course they know his name, it's John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt. His name is my name too!

[–] [email protected] 29 points 2 weeks ago

Whenever I go out, the CEOs all shout

[–] [email protected] 29 points 2 weeks ago

I am Spartacus!

[–] [email protected] 47 points 2 weeks ago

They don’t know their name. With how much of a surveillance state this is, they would’ve capped their ass by now.

[–] [email protected] 45 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (3 children)

Adams is such a ~~freak~~ messy binch - I wouldn't be surprised if he made that up that "fact" on the spot so he could be in the limelight.

---

What's the site's opnion on "messy b*tch"? I sincerely don't know.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 weeks ago

Absolutely just some shit he made up to look cool.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Honestly, we love a fellow messy binch on this site. What is this post, if not being messy binches ourselves? We all love slop and gossip so much because we are all messy binches.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I'm not an asterisk guy by nature so "messy binch" it is.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

binch

Rosemi, is that you? (bonus video)

(To answer your question, I stopped using the word a while back but I don't find it inherently problematic--it's all about the speaker and the context)

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[–] [email protected] 31 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Sincerely hope he's in Mexico by now.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Honestly they have absolutely nothing. I hope he is at home and happily returning to his life.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Even if they have his name, this is still probably the best move.

Trying to leave the country just gives cops more authority to gun him and a few bystanders down.

If he's just at home chilling like nothing happened then all they can do is charge him with murder and send it through the legal system. Then they pretty much need the CEO solution device or like a manifesto or they'll have a real hard time getting a jury to find him guilty.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 weeks ago

If he's chilling at home and they know who he is, they would do a midnight raid and say they 'feared for their life' and gun him down. It's hard to fathom them arresting him peacefully unless he turned himself in accompanied by a livestreaming news crew.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

A place like Indonesia would be even better. No extradition treaty.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Totally, but I'm just going off that he got on a bus so I'm wondering if it was a direct ride to the border or did he go to an airport in another state?

[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (4 children)

I'm actually curious how a non-rich person could escape to Indonesia without using their passport and without too many people knowing and for the escapee facing too many risks.

[Edit For the sake of clarity - I don't think the CEO killer is doing it this way.]

I think a rich person could do it pretty easily. For example...

  • Sneak into Canada.

  • Sneak over to the Canadian west coast.

  • Use private planes to skip across the Pacific and entirely avoid passport control in this or that country. A rich person on "vacation" surely doesn't have to deal with that crap and nobody checks too closely if the right contacts are used.

  • Eventually hop into Indonesia by landing at a rich person's airport and again avoiding passport control.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 weeks ago

If you've got a strong passport and a white face you can get away with a lot. I've been waved through customs too many times.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

A rich person on "vacation" surely doesn't have to deal with that crap and nobody checks too closely if the right contacts are used.

maybe not a billionaire or something, but there's no way the shooter is passing for that. at best they get the customs agent sent out to the private plane to handle passport control there before being allowed to debark. countries still do passport control for private planes.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

there's no way the shooter is passing for that.

I didn't say he was.

countries still do passport control for private planes.

My hunch is that you're wrong. If somebody flies a $20 million swanky private jet into the right airport (or airfield) and they don't want to deal with "hassles" they don't have to.

---

I googled.

How Private Jets Allow Fliers Around the World to Skirt Immigration

A British whistleblower revealed what the industry already knew: Fly private and anything goes.

[...]

79 percent of private flights, like those to LCY in 2023, faced no passport scrutiny whatsoever, according to the supposedly defective records Neal flagged.

This is not a hill I'm willing to die on. A single article that agrees with me is proof of nothing. But I really believe if somebody is rich enough (or even seems so) they get to avoid all sorts of regulations, rules, and even laws.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

not a hill i'm willing to die on either, chum. interesting article.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago

But I really believe if somebody is rich enough (or even seems so) they get to avoid all sorts of regulations, rules, and even laws.

I don't think the Claims Adjuster would be working with such people

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

It doesn't matter if he used his passport as long as he's on the plane before they figured out his name be he's safe.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

if you killed a prole maybe but they would absolutely force the plane to land in US jurisdiction for a CEO killer.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

He'd be better off going to the Canadian Border. Closer, wider, less policed, and just as much of an extradition treaty with Amerikkka as Mexico, but he could disappear into the wilderness until shit dies down like how a bunch of Soviet Leaders lived during their exiles into Siberia. Grow a beard to be extra unrecognizable and socialize with anyone living out there in small towns for mental health and work/supplies.

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 weeks ago

Eric Adams has been caught in so many insane lies, it's journalistic malfeasance to quote him as a reliable source at this point. so of course, the New York Post is there to be his stenographer.

i mean, this is the guy who claimed to carry a picture of fallen pig in his wallet for a decade and then had his staffers doctor a printout to back up his claim when called on it. adams is fucking pathological. he will make shit up and triple down on it, riding it until the wheels come off and then wake up the next day like none of it ever happened. classic NPD move.

https://www.theroot.com/erica-adams-allegedly-fake-photo-scandal-explained-1850614380

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)
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