Obviously fake and gay as fuck.
However, there's a lot of men that have never felt safe enough to do that with anyone. As we need it, badly, sometimes.
this post was submitted on 07 Dec 2024
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I cried the first time a gf was nice to me regularly.
I had some fucked up relationships. I'm doing good now though.
Feeling lonely sucks, but man, whenever I'm listening to some people talk about past relationships they've been in, I end up feeling happy it hasn't happened yet.
I blame my parents. They have such an amazing mutually respectful, supportive and loving marriage that it has set an impossible standard for me to realize.
I wish media depicted more healthy relationships.
Half of people don't seem to even have an idea of what mundane everyday loving behaviour actually looks like. And the other half does know, but fetishise unhealthy bullshit. (TBH I do too, but I want to engage in it playfully, not full on I will now proceed to straight up destroy you emotionally that I've run into with some people. )
I wish media depicted more healthy relationships.
And when they do they often portray them as effortless "found my soulmate" kind of relationships which is not how the real world works. Even if you have an amazing partner you need to put in effort to be an amazing partner to them yourself.
The fairy tale love affairs of fictional people hardly ever linger on the "mundane everyday loving behaviour" that I consider core to a functioning relationship.
I literally put that crap in the trash right along with the depictions of dysfunctional relationships in media.
Depictions of happy relationships, are not automatically depictions of healthy relationships.
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Who is y'all datin
No one and probably won't any time soon for a plethora of reasons. When I hooked up with a guy for the first time he really made me feel attractive and wanted and I almost broke down too. Terrible self-esteem and being starved for affection is a rough time.
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Can confirm, lived my life as a guy 20yrs online, 30irl. Almost cried the first time someone held me. Wasn't even romantic, just platonic. I swear half of the world's problems would be solved if people were more accepting of men sharing physical affection.
Ain't that the damn truth.
I've always been lucky to have partners and friends that were awesome about physical comfort and affection. But there's been times they weren't available, and it's the worst damn feeling to need that damn hug when you're falling apart, and not having it.
It's why I'll never, ever turn my back on someone needing it, even if I don't like them. Some things are just too damn important to hold back.
Honestly, it's the only thing I miss as middle aged single dad not dating. Someone to rub my hair while I cry in their lap. Nobody's taken care of me in decades. I've got a lot to cry about. Kinda sucks. Anyway... Back to manning up and working to exhaustion another few decades.
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I lost a partner doing that. Like flipping a switch, any interest in me was gone. Was struggling with depression, we knew eachother for a very long time, even dated in the past. Oh well.
Patriarchy seeps into women too
Tons of southern women would literally lose their entire identity if their patriarchy disappeared tomorrow
Yeah patriarchy is a system and it poisons us all. Never stop being open to being vulnerable. It's just unfortunate that some view it as weakness.
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It's happened to me twice. Shit sucks. I guess you could say if they lose interest for crying in front of them they're not good for you but I don't exactly have women lining up to date me. If I'd known ahead of time I'd have kept my emotions to myself.
Masking to keep a relationship is not worth it. It makes you miserable and eventually you lose sight of who you are and just become the person you think others want you to be and feel empty inside. Or worse, it leads to self hatred and you end up lashing out at people.
Source: helping my partners overcome both sides of this....
Yeah, but that'd be living a lie and hiding your emotions. Which is less healthy than being single. Meeting someone that likes you is something that can be done conciously rather easily with the right steps - but it does require a strong will, a lot of human interaction and a bunch of time. It also requires investing in yourself - living healthy, happy and mindful.
Fucking same, had just lost a mother figure my grand mother who I grow up with, never dealt with loss and had other things come into my life that exacerbated the situation. Anyway my ex split with me.
Sucked as I was there throughout her losses. Silver lining she was an enabler who had me drinking more, not working out. and now I am healthier inside and out, taken on therapy which has allowed me to face my demons.
Quote from my ex: "I like you more when you drank."
My exwife of 18 years dumped me when I went into a period of depression, fueled by the death of my father and a business failure. As soon as I ceased to be the rock, I became value less.
I had been there for her for two serious bouts of depression.
I have heard of similar things from friends. Men are not allowed to show weakness. Remember men were not supposed to cry until recently.
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Sorry, that honestly really sucks of them.
Allowing oneself to be vulnerable is one of the greater signs of trust I can think of.
Whenever someone in my life opens up or shows vulnerability, I'm mostly honored that they trusted me enough.
Especially someone you've known a while.
I hope you find someone in life where you can be open without strict roles and expectations.
I cried the other day, and my wife laughed at me as the tears rolled down my face.
Of course, I was waking up from a colonoscopy and crying about the fact that McDonald's doesn't serve Big Macs at 9:30am.
Huh, interesting that Australian McDonald's has you beat in this regard. We have an "all day menu" where you can get big Mac, cheeseburger and chicken burger any time of day, and an "extended breakfast" menu where you can get Bacon & Egg McMuffin, Sausage & Egg McMuffin, Chicken McMuffin and Sausage McMuffin any time of day.
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Green text, but men's health is a disaster and this has been me in the past before therapy and meds.
To be fair though I have several lifelong comorbid depression and anxiety disorders that I didn't get treated until I was 30. No 7 year old should have to be be suicidal.
I wonder how many other men are similar but never get treatment? Too many.
Yeah I know typically we're all here for a laugh, but I genuinely can't bring myself to make light of stuff like this.
There are millions of men in the world whose lives would likely be revolutionised if they had someone they felt this secure and safe with.
But our modern society doesn't reward (and in most cases, actively punishes) emotional vulnerability in men, so instead many of us either lean into toxic masculinity or drown in our depression. Sometimes both.
I'm fortunate enough that I do in fact have someone in my life who I could be this vulnerable with, should I be so inclined, but I also acutely remember the days when this was exactly what I craved in life and thought I would never have, and the suffocating feeling of isolation as a result.
I hope things change.
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Fake: Anon is in a loving relationship. Gay: Anon never states that they are a woman.
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The man living the dream
This is why you should always ugly cry on the first date, to establish whether they're gf material.
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I hope the replies to this were just as comforting and wholesome as the post itself.
checks website
I have bad news for you man
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I never really connected past a surface level relationship, the blame is on me, I had both men and women who took interest in me but I never followed it up with interest in them, neither did I attempt to interact with them
I probably should've, taken a day and went to a small restaurant to talk and chill, would've been very possible and easy too. Istanbul has great metro tram and bus routes.
Honestly, if you're in a similar situation as I am, just give it a shot
İnvite a friend over to eat at a fast food place, if you're talking to a person of your interest then take a small risk and try to put events together with them
Put color into your life, try to live less safe be more risky, even if you fuck something up so bad as to cause a break in a relationship it would only be something you would regret for a year rather than a lifetime
Wall of text so that I give myself a life lesson
On another note, maybe this is why it's good to have a journal and write about stuff.
TL:DR take risks, break off from single tone life, make closer bonds with small strides even with risk involved
I don't get it, where's the fake and gay?
Fake: there are no girls on the internet
Gay: anon has a boyfriend
Wholesome.
What they forgot to ask was if he was crying because he is there against his will? This is 4chan, after all.
Wholesome
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