this post was submitted on 04 Dec 2024
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This is a legit book. Here is the link for it https://www.penguinrandomhouseretail.com/author/?authorid=2069621

all 42 comments
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[–] [email protected] 62 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Maybe my wife will buy it for her boyfriend

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago

Maybe wife will buy it for herself

[–] [email protected] 40 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

I know a few guys like that. It sounds funny at first, but it can genuinely be a problem and negatively affect or kill relationships.

[–] [email protected] 57 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I had a friend with a legit footlong. He couldn't get laid because women would see it and say, "that's not going in me."

Fortunately, one of my other friends was a masochist, so they eventually got married.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

I am guessing this is one of these things where people think it's awesome and has many advantages, but like everything else in life, it's best to be near the middle of the bell curve, personally I am 197cm tall and that's very much on the extreme end, I think that's that taller than 99.6% of humans, I have to look out for not hitting my head, I don't fit comfortably in the majority of cars, flying on a plane is a PITA as I have to look for specific seats, hell even something as simple as sitting comfortably on public transit is an issue. Buying clothes is a chore as I have to look for things that are designed with longer sleeves and pants sized for tall people. Just a minority of shoe selection is available as they mostly have EUR size 45 as the biggest and I wear 46/47.

And I will probably die sooner than if I was like 10 cm shorter as my heart has to work harder.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

But don’t have a massive schlong at least?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

Asking the real questions.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

All I will say is schlong size is not proportionate to height and a sad emoji face :(

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago

Yeah, I'm nearly the same height and have similar issues. One plus is that my SO fits perfectly under my chin.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Men don't understand that a vagima is not a blck hole. There is an ending to it. Believe me, I am a woman, instead of worring about the size of your dick (something that most of the times only other men cares about) start.improving your knowledge on womens bodies and different ways to pleasure her. Btw, penetrative sex is not always the best sex for women.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago

I used to date a girl who told me that she had dated a guy with an XL dong. I have very standard equipment, and she said that it was great, as it was fine in all occasions, while the other sometimes created problems. I obviously chose to believe her :) That said, I think that the majority of penises falling within a certain range, is an evolutionary thing, making the average work well more times, thus enhancing the chance of offspring.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (3 children)

The cold kiss of the toilet bowl, if you are not careful enough, is the worse.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Its even worse when unwrapping the thing and it lands in the urinal.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago

Or when you use a German toilet model - the one with the poop bowl - and it touches the poo.

(And you don't even need that much of an oversize for this to actually happen)

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago

Pro-tip: wrap it behind yourself and let it rest over your shoulder, kind of like a shoulder cannon.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

Or commonly named Poseidon's touch.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 2 weeks ago (5 children)

What's up with that glove though?

[–] [email protected] 31 points 2 weeks ago

Haven't read the book yet, huh?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 weeks ago

You don't have special furious-masturbation gloves?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago

It looks like an order was going out and the employee wearing the glove took a picture before it goes into the bin for order fulfillment.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

Gardening while book shopping

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago

It's a goodwill donation. You don't touch the incoming stuff with your bare hands.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Ooh, is this another coloring book?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

there’d be a LOT to color

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

The free pen'is to color it in with cough

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 weeks ago

I've read this book and it's actually hilarious. Like intentionally. Highly recommend.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Why does it need to be a real book? A dust cover, You can put on any book, when reading in public spaces would be better.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Hey, thanks for advertising my Autobiography.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

"fellacio". Don't worry, I can handle it all by myself. :)

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

No joke, having a big dick has always seemed bad. Women really only seem to like it as a novelty, but otherwise report strong dissatisfaction with an oversized partner.

Something like 7-8 inches is what most women consider ideal, with way more acceptance for smaller penises than large ones.

I guess if you want to be a fuckboy or work in porn, a monster cock might be advantageous, but my understanding is that it's awful if you want to provide long-term sexual satisfaction to a partner.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 weeks ago

As a thicker man in the higher end of the range given: women say that's the ideal, but "girl inches" are a real thing

Being rejected because you're hurting someone no matter how careful you are is more mentally/emotionally damaging than people know, for both people

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 weeks ago

That's a big dick, buddy.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

I have been blessed with what the articles you've seen claim women say is the perfect dong. About 1 in 5 women have told me it was too large and uncomfortable while the rest have told me how much better bigger ones like mine are. One refused me outright after she saw it.

Funny thing is guys stare WAY more in nude situations.

Turns out after looking it up someone has done a more scientific study which determined that women prefer a 6.3 x 4.8 incher for a long-term partner, which is honestly much more reasonable when confronted with the actual stats on how big a human dong generally is.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

This book would be useless to me.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 weeks ago

Well, not all of us have our massive schlongs figured out as well as you do, okay!?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago

Hugh Penisi?
I hardly know him.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

Dat tripede logo

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

Since most guys don't invest lots of time staring at other guy's eject cocks, who's to know. Why not allow your boyfriend to be thrilled thinking that he has an above average sized penis?