My dog can’t feed herself. My family seems to like having me around.
Get off of social media. Other than here I really keep my news to computer stuff that interests me
this post was submitted on 27 Nov 2024
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What’s hope got to do with it? You survive. That’s it.
But for real, because my people have endured persecution before. As I look at our incoming persecution I see that we got further this time than in a long time and so we must endure and survive and go further again.
But no matter what you survive
Hope? I have none. I continue on through the power of avoidance and denial. If I stop to think about things it turns into suicidal thoughts, so I just do my damnedest not to think.
The alternative seems really boring.
Not much but snark
Setting aside my depressive episodes and a few signals of impending doom, I look out my window and see a world that is still generally okay around me. That tells me I'm still in a position to go out and try to improve things.
For instance, my family and I got through COVID. To me, that's a kind of privilege, because I certainly know others who weren't so fortunate. So I'm doing my part to ensure another pandemic like that doesn't happen again, or at least isn't so impactful.
The other night I saw the stars in the sky and thought about how little my problems actually seem.
Strike that. Reverse it.
My lack of motivation prevents me from ending it all.
I wouldn't say I'm completely hopeful or doomed, the world is filled with terror and beauty. There are no gods or kings it's just people. Historic and scientific education can help reduce anxiety about the unknown, change your own beliefs and behaviors to improve the situation locally before joining organizations looking to make broader changes. Learn what your fears are and face them, otherwise it will cloud your judgement and influence your decision making process.
Gaming with the homies. I ought to be able to get a couple dogs one day. I'm getting better at cooking. I meet new and amazing people every now and then.
I do my best to steer the world in the direction I'd like to see it go, and I try take pride in the effort, not in the results. The destination might look dark now but you can still enjoy the journey. I hope that makes sense.
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My friends, family, drawing, having a nice home to live in, good food and fun stuff to do ❤️ I try and avoid negativity by searching for things I'm interested in to engage with, such as art, nature photography, cat photos, and videogames. Some websites let you tailor your feed to your liking!
I have no hope, only fantasies that people will come to their senses someday. Hope? Nah.
Most of the stuff you read doesn’t matter. What matters is how you treat people. Eat good food and smile, enjoy the rays of the sun which burn us all equally. Bask in a hot shower. Go outside, where you can’t see any other people for a few hours, and listen to the sounds.
Stop caring and all of the problems go away, as if by magic. The amount of emotional energy that people put into issues that they're unlikely to ever face is unbelievably wasteful.
My partner and her cat
There is this video that reminds me that there is no natural law that determines that things will only get better. Yet we have to find purpose. I am not hopeful, but I am happy for everyone that tries to do the right thing. We're in this together even if everything goes to shit.
I am going to click this, but God dammit if this is Rick Astley
Edit: okay, thanks internet friend
Look, If I'm going down, I'm going down kicking and screaming.
In these difficult times I find that all I need is spending some time with my loved ones, enjoying my old favorite media and games and sharing them with my daughter, and nightly cuddles from my beautiful monster of a cat while I read web serials to unwind.
Well, those things and also cannabis and escorts. And pizza. Keeps me going.
Antidepressants
That at any time I want, I can opt out.
I don't have to stay here and put up with the bullshit if I don't want to.
That's also a possibility where I could do something useful by taking someone else out with me, if I can manage to get it done.
You have no idea how freeing it is to be okay with death. When you cease fearing it and look at it as a welcome friend, everything changes.
Now it is important to realize that this is not a desire to die. It's simply accepting that death is inevitable, and that it is possible to choose when and how I die, if that's something that seems useful. Life isn't inherently sacred, there's no special glory in not dying, there's no particular benefit to sticking around other than more of the same that's already happened.
This means that every day is a choice. It's something I own. I have alternatives. We all do, but I'm aware of that fact in a way that makes even the truly horrible much less impressive.
Again, this is entirely different from wanting to off myself, it isn't depression. It's just the way I see things.
Hunter S. Thompson carried a revolver on him for most of his adult life for that exact reason.
... He told me 25 years ago that he would feel real trapped if he didn't know that he could commit suicide at any moment. I don't know if that is brave or stupid or what, but it was inevitable. I think that the truth of what rings through all his writing is that he meant what he said. If that is entertainment to you, well, that's OK. If you think that it enlightened you, well, that's even better. If you wonder if he's gone to Heaven or Hell, rest assured he will check out them both, find out which one Richard Milhous Nixon went to—and go there. He could never stand being bored. But there must be Football too—and Peacocks ...
— Some friend of Thompson's after his death whose name I forget and am too lazy to look up (I have the quote unattributed in my notes on Thompson). But it's quoted on Thompson's Wikipedia if you're not as lazy, lol.
I dig that idea too. His reasoning might be different, but it's the same basic spirit.
Are you familiar with Project Semicolon? It's an anti-suicide thing and they use the semicolon because it is unnecessary and using it is a choice by the author that there sentence could end, but they have chosen to continue. Your top level comment has very similar vibes to some of the things that the group advocates.
The founder did eventually decide to end their story and they kind of faded out, but the message is a good one.
I agree with you about the power accepting your own mortality grants. All human stories end in death, pretending there is any other option is delusional.
I've run across them a time or two :)
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I think I may still be riding the hype of things like the JWST, and fusion energy breakthroughs. Our societies may be back sliding at the moment, but our species is still doing some amazing things.